The Last Adventure Puns

I'm currently running my players through a D&D adventure titled "Curse of Strahd".

Last session, my players found a journal revealing details about the main villain, Count Strahd Von Zarovich. When they acquired it, I passed the adventure book over--opened up to an illustration depicting the journal's pages--and one of the players proceeded to read. After struggling for a bit, he said, "I'm having a tough time reading this cause it's so cursive."

Yes," I responded. "It's the cursive Strahd."

I had that one chambered and ready for weeks, just waiting for the right moment.

What my players don't know is that I'm also going to include a few other bits of flavor for my them to find as they progress through the game:

• A fancy handbag with the initials "SVZ" hammered into the leather... the "purse of Strahd"
• A grave in which the Von Zarovich family nanny is buried... the "nurse of Strahd"
• A carriage very obviously built to accommodate Strahd's coffin... the "hearse of Strahd"
• A book full of poetry written during Strahd's younger days, before he was consumed by darkness... the "verse of Strahd"

A trio of explorers were hiking through the Congo and found a small village that was very isolated and not on any map. The villagers turned out to speak English very well, and informed the adventurers very politely that theirs was a village of cannibals and they were to be cooked and eaten, and their hides tanned and turned into canoes for the villagers, but they would allow them to take their own life however they saw fit.

The first man asks for a sharp knife, slices his wrists open, and mutters "Lay me down and bleed a while, and ne'er up again."

The second man asks for his revolver, says "For God and Country!" and shoots himself in the head.

The last man asks for a fork, and stabs himself repeatedly screaming "Fuck your canoe!"

I am making cheesy valentine-like cards for my fellow Adventure Monkeys--a name that was dubbed to the group I did humanitarian aid work with in Guatemala. For our last meeting tomorrow, I want to bring cheesy valentine-like cards, but I'm having trouble coming up with a silly pun. I'd like to use the words Quetzal (national bird of Guatemala) or Monkey (for our group) if possible.

Any ideas? I need your brilliant pun minds!