A list of puns related to "Telephoner"
"Look at what kids your age make in China!"
I bet it would be electrifying
Because it was busy.
Unfortunately, someone called the police on us and we got arrested for attempted murder.
I got the No-bell prize for it.
Her: It’s Venus.
Me: Sorry Venus, would you put Serena on the phone?
He gave her a ring!!
Because his program was CALLING a lot of subroutines.
A Tesla Coil
The second one.
"We are putting comments under this post"
There was just no connection...
So they can tweet.
(I hit my family with this one today. Its probably been done before but it was so satisfying hearing everyone groan.)
The line was dead.
The bed might be easier though.
Poor guy got suspended on his first day.
With toucans and a piece of string.
He wrote telephone hold music.
It rings a Bell.
"Big fan", I replied.
A golden receiver
"What are you doing? Making a long distance call?"
He was so proud of the joke he called me in as the only other person who would appreciate it.
Yep, and they are not makeing them any shorter either.
... "That's the phone-iest ringtone I've ever heard!"
Remember, only come here for cringe, Because this is the ultimate Pun Collection.
I'm sorry for the cringe...
Do you remember the famous Olympic skier Picabo Street? Well she is now a receptionist in an Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital.
Unfortunately, she is no longer allowed to answer the hospital telephones. It caused too much confusion when she would answer the phone and say:
“Picabo, I.C.U.”
It's good for the Seoul.
With a telephone.
Once upon a time there were three little pigs, Pork Chop, Hambone, and Bacon.
The boys lived at home with their mother. One day their mother said, “I no longer have enough food to feed you boys, you need to go out on your own and find your fortunes.”
Not wanting to upset their mother they left the house together to seek their fortunes.
Several miles into their journey Bacon, the little pig everyone liked best, said, “Let’s build our houses here! This seems like a great place to start making our fortunes.”
Pork Chop and Hambone agreed. So they all began building their houses.
Pork Chop, the laziest of the bunch, decided to build his house out of straw, which he apparently stole from a nearby field. It was not a very sturdy building material, but Pork Chop didn’t care. All he wanted to do was play all day, and he didn’t want to spend too much time building.
Hambone was willing to work a bit harder and he decided to build his house out of sticks which he procured by de-limbing every tree within a 300 meter radius of their homestead.
Hambone and Pork Chop were happy. Now all they had to do was to play and sleep the rest of the day.
Now Bacon was a hard worker. He knew that his brothers had used bad materials and shoddy construction methods and he wanted to build the best house he could. He found several tons of bricks stacked in neatly ordered pallets in the forest which he decided to use for his building material. It took him several days, but when he was done Bacon had the best house on the homestead.
The next day a wolf, Scott Howard, happened upon the pig brothers and their new homestead. He spied the straw house and smelled Pork Chop inside and began to think to himself that Pork Chop would make a mighty fine meal, so Scott went and knocked on the door.
Scott said, “Little Pig! Little Pig! Let me in!”
Pork Chop replied, “No way José! Not by the hairs on my chinny chin chin!”
Scott, undeterred by the reply says, “Then I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your crappy straw house to the ground!”
Scott began to huff and puff. He was evidently having some sort of asthma attack, but after a few tugs from his handy dandy rescue inhaler, he was able to muster enough wind to blow Pork Chops straw house to the ground.
Pork Chop narrowly escaped Scott’s massive jaws. Scared, and now homeless, Pork Chop ran for the nearest shelter he could see. Hambone’s house.
Scott, undeterred, chased Pork Chop to his new hiding place. Scott was very pleas
... keep reading on reddit ➡An old man named Brock Oswald Lee wanted to telephone his friend, Edward Flower. But he forgot, since he had dementia. The nurse quickly reminded him: “Brock O. Lee, call E. Flower”
Hello everyone. Today, a 72-year-old man named Mike came into my office. Mike blessed me with many gifts, a sampling of which I would like to share with you all here.
First, Mike asked how I was. I said "good, how are you?" Mike: I had a dream last night I was a muffler. And when I woke up it scared me because I was exhausted.
Mike also has an ex wife. "My Ex wife was so ugly her mom made her go trick or treating by telephone so she didn’t scare the other children."
Not just one ex wife, Mike has two ex wives. "My ex wife was so ugly I used to take her to work with me so I didn’t have to kiss her goodbye"
Mike does a lot of work for various charities. "I asked the lady at a restaurant if I could post my flyer for an event in the window. She said 'that depends, are you a non-profit?' I said 'lady I've got two ex wives, I haven't had profit in 30 years!'"
Those darn ex wives. "I’m so poor a pick pocket tried to rob me the other day and all he got was practice."
Mike actually came to my office to tell me about a basketball camp he's putting on next week. He's been playing basketball for 64 years. "I was a great athlete in high school. I was voted most valuable player by all the cheerleaders."
There was one girl though who got away. "There was a girl who lived down the street and I used to call her all the time and say 'Sarah, can I come over?' and she'd say no. So one day she called & said “Mike, come over, nobody's home.” So I went to her house and she was right, there wasn’t anybody there."
That girl may be why he didn't play baseball. "I played football, basketball and track. Someone asked me 'Mike, why didn't you play baseball?' I said 'because I was already so good at striking out!'"
Anyways, Mike went on to have a lengthy career in TV and radio, until he didn't. "I had to quit my job for medical reasons. My boss said I made her sick."
Thank you for your time.
A telephone book
Two crows sitting on a telephone wire outside our window, and a third crow swoops down... "Oh my God it's an attempted murder!"
Nice one, future dad...
I'm not a dad, and not even English, but a friend's dad would make this joke:
Green green, green green...
Yellow?
Brown, brownbrownbrownbrown, brownbrown, brown.
Pink!
But I'm pretty sure there was more colours in it than that. Can somebody help?
Thanks!
Don't put the party pie on your head! It's not a hat! Hold it like a telephone... now you're a "pie on ear"!!
Telephone
Green Green
#picks up
Yellow?
The second one.
The second one.
The second one!
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