I ate a teaspoon of food coloring

And now I'm slowly dyeing a little inside

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HVIIDPOWER
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
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Eat a teaspoon of baking powder when you get up.

It helps you rise

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/renorhino83
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2018
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Why did the teaspoons rob a bank?

They were desperate measures.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bambu002
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2013
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I just found out how to burn 2000 calories

I left my brownies in the oven too long

πŸ‘︎ 426
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mafiaworks_08
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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How do you feed 1000 people with one loaf of bread?

You cut the ends and now you have endless bread.

Courtesy of my 12 year old daughter.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/houseme
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
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How do you make a sausage roll?

Push it down a hill

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ort0810
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
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Accidentally dad joked myself to my wife. Didn't even notice. My wife is more dad than I am. *sigh*

So I was making a pot of loose leaf tea, and I see a dry clean-looking spoon on the counter by the tea, so I ask my wife "Is this a tea spoon?"

Then she (rudely, I might add) glared at me and said "yes." in a flat monotone.

I looked at her, confused and offended, so she said "It's a teaspoon."

I wish I could say I got it then, but she had to clarify further: "No, it's an actual teaspoon, and yes you can use it for the tea."

...

Anyway, how does it work at this point? Should I be the one to tell our daughter that her mom is her new dad now, or does that need to come from my wife?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blindsight
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2016
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