My kid’s chemistry teacher was arrested in class yesterday. He was pouring out teaspoons of sodium chloride for each student, but because the class was rowdy, he kept losing his place and having to start over.

The police charged him with multiple counts of a salt.

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👤︎ u/WCBrann
📅︎ Mar 09 2021
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I ate a teaspoon of food coloring

And now I'm slowly dyeing a little inside

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👤︎ u/HVIIDPOWER
📅︎ Apr 04 2019
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Eat a teaspoon of baking powder when you get up.

It helps you rise

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📅︎ Mar 25 2018
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Why did the teaspoons rob a bank?

They were desperate measures.

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👤︎ u/bambu002
📅︎ Jul 02 2013
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I just found out how to burn 2000 calories

I left my brownies in the oven too long

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📅︎ May 14 2020
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How do you feed 1000 people with one loaf of bread?

You cut the ends and now you have endless bread.

Courtesy of my 12 year old daughter.

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👤︎ u/houseme
📅︎ Jul 14 2019
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How do you make a sausage roll?

Push it down a hill

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👤︎ u/Ort0810
📅︎ Jun 19 2019
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Accidentally dad joked myself to my wife. Didn't even notice. My wife is more dad than I am. *sigh*

So I was making a pot of loose leaf tea, and I see a dry clean-looking spoon on the counter by the tea, so I ask my wife "Is this a tea spoon?"

Then she (rudely, I might add) glared at me and said "yes." in a flat monotone.

I looked at her, confused and offended, so she said "It's a teaspoon."

I wish I could say I got it then, but she had to clarify further: "No, it's an actual teaspoon, and yes you can use it for the tea."

...

Anyway, how does it work at this point? Should I be the one to tell our daughter that her mom is her new dad now, or does that need to come from my wife?

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👤︎ u/blindsight
📅︎ Jul 28 2016
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