Did you hear about the car with a wooden engine, wooden wheels, and wooden gas tank?

It wooden go!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Common_Coyote_3
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2022
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What kind of ears does Thomas the Tank Engine have?

Engineers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/19triguy82
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
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What did Thomas the Tank Engine get from the vending machine?

Coca-Coal!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DecIsMuchJuvenile
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2021
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It’s got a wooden frame, wooden engine, wooden wheels and a wooden gas tank. Did he ride it? No, wooden start
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dunkinbiskits
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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Thomas the Tank Engine and Bertie have a race, but Thomas will never win: why not?

...because for trains, every railroad race will end with a railroad tie ;)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2021
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Why was Thomas the tank engine out of breath?

He was training all day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whippymcdumbass
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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What does Thomas the Tank Engine call his teen brother?

A steam punk!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DecIsMuchJuvenile
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
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A woodcutter once decided to build his own motor bike. He used wood for the frame, wood for the engine, wood for the brakes, and even a wooden gas tank.

Did he ride it? No. It wooden start

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_methematician
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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My son used to be COMPLETELY addicted to Thomas the Tank Engine - but it’s no longer a problem because

He’s well trained

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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What does Thomas the Tank Engine say when it bites it's fingernails?

Chew chew

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dacaldha
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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You’ve heard of Thomas the Tank Engine, now get ready for Jet-Ski Gretzky!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedditDragon9731
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
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What does Thomas the Tank Engine use to raise pancakes?

Bicarbonate of Sodor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Perigeesus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
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What does Thomas the Tank Engine drink?

Coal-a

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jayrandomer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2018
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Did you hear Thomas the Tank Engine became a vampire?

Yeah, now he lives in Trainsylvania.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZeLittleMan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2013
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If Apple made a car what would it be missing?

Windows.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tharakan922
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2021
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I was touring a rocket factory and wondered why the fuel tank was full of metal plates,

So when the tour guide pointed out a fuel system engineer I asked him "can you tell me why there are big flat plates all over the inside of the fuel tank?" and he looked up at it and said "oh, that's just baffling" and I thought, great, if he doesn't know, who would?

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2022
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What's a monkey's favourite TV show?

Thomas the Orangu-Tank Engine!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DecIsMuchJuvenile
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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Cold never bothered me anyway...

It was my son's birthday, and we were doing a Thomas the Tank Engine theme. Went to the party supplies shop, and one of the things we got for the party was a helium balloon with Thomas on it. Gave it to him, told him to hold on to it, otherwise it would float up into the sky, all the way to the moon as Peppa Pig phrases it.

Anyway, I'm looking around and I notice something weird... there are Transformers helium balloons, Peppa Pig helium balloons, Barbie helium balloons, Thomas of course, various superheroes... but I notice the complete absence of Elsa and Anna on these balloons. But Frozen must be the most popular theme ever for girl's birthday parties, I would have thought. So why no Frozen helium balloons?

I asked at the counter, and they told me that they used to have them, but they got too many complaints. Apparently every time a parent gave the balloon to a kid, she'd just let it go...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cman_yall
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
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Dad Joke From One Dad To Another

I'm a dad, and I told my dad this, so I think it counts. It got a lot of groans, so I think it's great, if a bit long.


I once lived near a small, simple town where there lived named Hugh.

Hugh was a very smart man stricken with a series of personal tragedies earlier in his life. As a result, he moved to this small town and took a job in his local florist shop, relaxing the days away arranging flowers and trying not to think of times past. Hugh grew to love working there.

One day, a disaster struck the town. A small, single engine airplane crashed a block from Hugh's shop, killing those on the plane and setting fire to several buildings, both occupied and empty.

The impact ruptured a gas line, which ultimately exploded, creating a shock wave that caused part of the building next to the florist shop to collapse and trap several of Hugh's customers and co-workers inside. The situation was desperate, as the shop would be burned to the ground at any moment.

Acting quickly, Hugh located the gas main, shutting it down. Next, Hugh noticed a water storage tank nearby, and opened a release valve that suffocated the fire before it reached his beloved shop.

With the fire out, and the florist shop saved along with those trapped inside, Hugh was a hero. The town presented him with a plaque in honor of his courageous deeds. On this plaque was a detailed etching of a bear, and Hugh was touched because he loved bears. But it was the words etched beneath that truly touched him.

"Only Hugh could prevent florist fires."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Primatebuddy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2015
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My dad’s motorbike has a wooden frame, wooden engine, wooden wheels, and a wooden gas tank. Did he ride it?

Nope, it wooden start

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πŸ‘€︎ u/paoerfuuul
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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Thomas the tank engine is rarely late.

He is well trained.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
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