I want a job at a tack factory

I think it's a a job I can stick with

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tarbogman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
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In honor of my father for Father’s Day, I’m going to tack you back to the 1990’s. This is rural southern America please read in southern accent.

Me: Daddy I’m thirsty!

My dad: Hi thirsty I’m Fridy lets go Saturdy and get a Sundy.

I’m sure it’s not original but it makes me laugh to think of how I was making my dad insane asking for a DRIIINNNKKK and he would always come back with this.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kayl6
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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A tack on titan
πŸ‘︎ 269
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedLeader11037
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
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Help! I’m under a-tack at my workplace
πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/handleytwynham
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
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Why would someone take a break from what they were doing after stepping on a tack?

It was a tack-xing experience.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
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Oh no not a tack
πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/racoondog999
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
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I’m under a tack
πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MysticaIMemes
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
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I'm in big trouble, you guys. I bought a set of fake pushpins and put them by the bulletin board in the IRS break room.

Now I'm wanted for tacks fraud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fuzzus628
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge, but today, there’s a long break in the ledge they can’t cross. β€œSomething for this I have.” Yoda says.

He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.

He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.

When they get back to Yoda’s hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a hole in the fence around Yoda’s garden.

β€œSomething I have for this.” Yoda says again. Once again, he takes a bunch of forks out of his bag and, using duct tape, tapes them in to patch the hole.

Yoda and Luke return to Yoda’s home, where Yoda looks through his bag. He’s used all his forks but one, he discovers.

β€œThat’s ok Master." Luke says, wanting to be helpful. β€œI’ll write us a note reminding us to buy more.”

So he writes the note and uses the very last fork to pin it to the bulletin board.

He looks down at Yoda expecting pride, but instead finds a look of horror.

β€œMaster Yoda!” he asks. β€œWhat did I do wrong?”

Yoda replies sagely, β€œA Jedi uses the forks for no ledge and the fence. Never for a tack!”

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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Did you hear about the guy who sat on a tack?

He's ok, but he made his whole week

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajmansell
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
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A Tack on Titan imgur.com/gallery/XkBls
πŸ‘︎ 292
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πŸ‘€︎ u/microbefox
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2016
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How did the poster get hurt?

It was under a tack

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xenanast
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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To have a heart tack
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dragun82
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Made a shirt out of thumb tacks because I wanted to look sharp...

But everyone said it was tacky.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlackEyedBroad
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
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I was arrested after dodging some pushpins that were thrown at me.

I committed tacks evasion.

πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Our base is under a tack!
πŸ‘︎ 207
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brownie79
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2014
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Daughter: "Ouch! I stepped on a tack on the floor."

Me: "So the floor attacked you!" Daughter: "Daaaaaad!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iluv_Felashio
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2016
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In drivers ed my teacher raised his arm above his head, and in his hand was a thumb tack.

He asks the class, "what does this mean", while still holding the thumb tack above his head. We sit there puzzled for a moment until he says "It means I'm under a tack."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChiefTief
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2013
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Riding in the car, my mother-in-law tells us she used to work at a tack factory

I said "It's a good job to stick with... Just making a point..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tarbogman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2016
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What did the poster say to the wall?

We're under a tack!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cowlhead
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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Why was the soldier pinned down?

He was under a tack

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imnotcreative29
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you reattach a severed thumb?

With a finger nail

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mtcarr79
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
🚨︎ report
A man gets a bunch of office supplies dropped on him. He yells:

Help! I’m under a tack!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jetstream345
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
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If they send another probe to Saturn's biggest moon, they should put a pushpin on it.

Then it'll be a tack on Titan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CourageKitten
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2017
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I saw a piece of paper get stabbed once...

It was under a tack.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/livinin82
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2016
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Oh no, looks like /r/dadjokes is under attack again...

http://i.imgur.com/Ltnox52.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/paper-tigers
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2015
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Help me , son! I'm under attack!

Dad, stop..

sigh... (pulls tack off head)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/omnomnosaurus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2017
🚨︎ report
Last night I spilled a bunch of small thumbtacks, then danced to the beat of them hitting the floor

That's right; I got down to brass tacks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BradC
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2017
🚨︎ report
World map

My parents have been traveling the world and my Mom bought my Dad a big world map (in a frame) for his birthday. It comes with tacks that you stick into the countries you have visited. Once they put the tacks in I dropped this.

Me: Isn't it funny how every country you have visited is now "under attack"?

My Mom glared at me and it took my Dad a couple seconds. He giggled and gave me that "I'm laughing but you know that was terrible" look.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcmastermind
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2016
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend was telling her dad about clothes she'd bought..

Girlfriend: The clothes cost $225, that's with tax and everything.

Her dad: Tacks?! Don't they stay on by themselves?

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/godset
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2014
🚨︎ report
Got my weld instructor last night

He was inspecting my tacks on a project and said "Real good tacks Steakfatt." I replied "would you say they are spec-TACK-uler?" He shook his head and walked away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/steakfatt
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2015
🚨︎ report
My dad, going fishing

My dad was taking us fishing & we stopped off to get bait. So the guy behind the counter said, "That'll be two dollars for the worms, and fourteen cents for the tax."
"That's okay," my dad said, "We don't need tacks. They'll stay on the hooks by themselves."
I think the worm guy is still chuckling.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aethelberga
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2013
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Why was the poster scared?

Because it was under a tack.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
🚨︎ report

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