I had a girlfriend years ago that had a passion for light switches
It was an on/off relationship
Geese fly in a V-formation for aerodynamics, and when the lead goose gets tired he switches out his position. But one side of the V is almost always longer than the other. Do you know why?
The kids are getting Nintendo Switches this year..
Since you can't post pics here for some reason (doesn't say anything about it in the rules as far as I can tell) here is a link.
https://imgur.com/gallery/SNde2aX
I don't always like it when a show switches out villains and makes them an ally
What do you call snake who switches careers from standup comedy to Canadian law enforcement?
Granddad always switches the first letters of words around. Today was his funniest
My mom explains how she cooked the potatoes with duck fat. Granddad:"duck fat... how about fuck dat!... oh jeez"
I switched labels in my wife's spice cabinet.
She hasn't noticed, but the thyme is cumin.
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight
There would be mass confusion.
A big light switch is a major turn-on
Why won’t Americans switch from pounds to kilos?
It would cause mass confusion
so anyway im switching my major to marketing...
just a few hours ago my brother was talking about buying cinnamon rolls from his english teacher who bakes and sells it on instagram as a side hustle and i said IF SHES AN ENGLISH TEACHER SHE SHOULD CALL THEM SYNONYM ROLLS and honestly im super proud
I got tired of flipping the little switch on my rear view mirror to dim the headlights.
So I removed the whole mirror.
I haven’t looked back since.
I recently switched from using mayonnaise to using butter for making grilled cheese sandwiches. My wife said she liked them more with the butter, but kindly asked me if it was more work this way?
I answered: "It is, but only margarinely more."
Note: this really happened.
This time of year we switch out our old decorative squash for a new one -
It's the traditional changing of the gourd.
germans:" i thought we were a team, why did you switch sides?" italians:"
Why did the guy who voted for Trump in 2016 switch sides this time?
Because hindsight is 2020.
I’ve decided to switch jobs from gardener to breast enlargements surgeon.
It was easy, both are basically implants.
My wife dared doubt my craftsmanship when I was changing over the light switch.
Haha, she's in for a shock
A $9.99. Nintendo Switch! If it's too good to be true, it probably is...
I recently switched all the labels on my wife’s spices…
She hasn’t realized it yet, but the Thyme is Cumin.
Why did the baker switch to dog shaped rolls?
He always wanted a purebred.
I’ve recently switched all the labels on my wife’s spice rack.
She doesn’t know yet. But the thyme is cumin.
So Apple is switching to ARM-SoCs...
... I think they're taking a huge RISC.
4 year old daughter gave me her Nintendo switch to charge..
I put it on the ground and backed up. I slowly raised my arm and yelled "chaaaaaarrrrggggeeee" , then I ran at it.
I switched out my bed for a trampoline
Let me tell you that my wife hit the roof when she found out.
Have you ever seen a light switch before?
It's not pretty, they get very angry.
Just ordered a 12” wide console table to go by our entryway door.
My daughter says it will be very soothing.
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
Don’t get mad at the hallway light switch that keeps shocking you
It’s just reminding you of your potential.
You should quit while you're a head
I get depressed if I don’t play video games.
I always need to console myself.
Why didn’t USA switch from pounds to grams?
What sticks up when you turn it on?
So today was my barber's last day at the barbershop...
He said it was time to switch careers. But no matter what profession he chose or what career path he took.... he just couldn't cut it.
I switched the I and O keys on my brother's laptop to confuse him and mess his typing up.
I know, I know, I'm a horrible person, but my brother would say I'm a hirroble persin.
Got a Nintendo Switch for Christmas!
My switch was too heavy, so I got a lighter one
I only like light switches off and on.
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight
There would be mass confusion
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms over night
There would be MASS confusion
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight
There would be a mass confusion
Imagine if America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight.
There'd be mass confusion.
I switched all the labels on my wife's spices.
I'm not in trouble yet, but the thyme is cumin.
What would happen if americans switched to kilograms overnight?
I recently switched all the labels on my wife's spice rack....
She hasn't realized it yet, but the thyme is cumin.
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight.
There would be a mass confusion
I recently switched all the labels on my wife’s spice rack.
She hasn’t realized it yet, but the thyme is cumin...
I got tired of flipping the little switch on my rear view mirror to dim the headlights.
So I removed the whole mirror.
I haven’t looked back since.
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