I told my boss, β€œSorry I’m late. I was having computer issues.”

Boss: Hard drive?

Me: No, the commute was fine. It’s my laptop.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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I left work and a cop followed me home for my entire 50 minute commute then ticketed me in my own driveway.

He approached me after I had parked in my driveway and asked if I knew why he was writing me a ticket.

I told him I had no idea what I had done wrong.

He said that he followed me for my entire commute and not once did I get in an accident. He fined me for wreck-less driving.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peon2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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Spider-Man used to have trouble commuting around NY.

Don't worry. He eventually got into the swing of things.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Evrant
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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I asked my friend for some exercises I could do while commuting on public transport.

My friend asked me what I was train...ing for

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Filthydogg
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
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I like to listen to Bowie on my morning train commute

It helps me get from Station to Station

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nbarlam
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
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When shared commuters suffer transiting underground shortcuts

Another case of Carpool Tunnel Syndrome

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LateralRodin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
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The motorists always got angry at the same place on their daily commute

The cross roads

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
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It costs around $7 to cross the Golden Gate Bridge, regardless of whether you're a commuter or a tourist.

It takes a toll on everybody.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/original_evanator
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2016
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A jewelry appraiser's commute

My fiancΓ©e asked the appraiser if he took the train into work and he said "no way, the train takes me. I'd have to eat a whole bunch of Wheaties before I could haul something that big."

He also had three daughters. A diamond dad joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Colinmacus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2015
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Dad hates the morning commute

"I was stuck in traffic so long I got a parking ticket!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sitdown_comic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2013
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Did you hear about the man who died on the morning commuter train?

He got caught up in a noose-paper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zataks
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2016
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No telling what was in there

We had a friend in town this weekend whose flight was this afternoon, so she was staying at the house for a while after my wife and I left for work. About halfway through my commute I was overtaken by a terrible sense of dread and panic that I forgotten to flush the toilet and our friend was going to come face to face with a semi-fresh dookie when she went to the restroom.

I was so mortified at this that I preemptively texted her to warn her and requested that she please, for both our sake's, flush the toilet prior to lifting the lid. We may never know whether I needed to send that text-- it was a real Schrodinger Scat situation.

This is sort of a TIFU, but I have no idea if I actually did and I'm not sure she would have the heart to tell me anyway.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LapTrap
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
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Ordered pears imgur.com/4mvNAlx
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thepanazz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2017
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A PC - a personal computer. A car -

A personal commuter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thememz27
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
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Saw this one on the way to work this morning

"What happens when the fog lifts in Los Angeles?" "U.C.L.A"

Needless to say, it made my morning commute.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/katieisgolden
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2015
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Mom Joked?! Those rolling hills...

Though I'm graduated from college, my mother still kindly pays for my cell phone bill as I'm on her contract. I was complaining to her today about how many dropped calls I've had lately, and she suggested it might be an issue when I go through the hills.

Living in Pittsburgh... I can't help but go through hills all day long.

Me: "Maybe my cell phone service is a problem since I live & work & commute through hills."

Mom: "Yes, maybe it isn't compatible with your hill-billy lifestyle."

GROAN

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnhipsterchill
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2014
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I like to listen to Bowie on my morning train commute

I find it helps me get from Station to Station

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nbarlam
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
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