I YAM!
He likes it because it's yammy.
I know I yam
I said, “Yes, I yam”
Yammies
Possibly the Yam-azon.
"Ya know, if they put out a warrant for your arrest for stealing those potatoes you would be on the yam."
My coworker hollered "uh oh!"
I responded with a boisterous "YAM IT!"
I think therefore I Yam.
One is a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
So that it could be the other side. Courtesy of my 6 year old. I’m so proud.
Because it's For a Yam!
It was my yam, me.
John raises his hand, "I yam."
Sweet potatoes are ungourdly.
Miami.
Quit your YAMmering!
A suite potato!
nbd just a classic dad joker
Sweet potato
"are you the father of these little sweet potatoes?" He says, " I yam"
Son: Eye
Father: Synonym for "sweet potato"?
Son: Yam
Father: Synonym for "casserole"?
Son: Stew
Father: Four-letter word, past tense of "to urinate"?
Son: Peed
Father: Hi Stupid, I'm Dad
Long post is long:
Her: Remember dad's tomato bushes? Well they're attacking! At least one is leaning across the path trying to get at my window... We had the war of the roses, now its time for the attack of the tomatoes!
Me: I don't remember anything about tomato bushes. From one battle to the next.
Her: Yep! Lookout tomatoes here comes the chutney recipe!
Me: I can just imagine a cucumber campaign. Operation onion would be next, which will fail, causing everyone to cry. Dill Day follows, a great success for the allied gardeners. All too soon though, the kamikaze carrots set in, utterly ruining the radish raid. The mushroom maneuver is employed, saving the troops, allowing them to deal the final blow in the asparagus assault!
Her: Don't forget the pumpkins want to supply ground cover with heavy support...
Me: Ah yes, the pumpkin paratroopers.
Her: Thyme is running out...
Me: Prepare the beetroot bombs!!!
Her: Aim for Potato Garden!
Me: Fire the capsicum! Deploy the celery team!
Her: Bring in the egg plant division to support the capsicum!
Me: This is it boys, life or dirt! I want a passionfruit unit to find us a vantage point, and the strawberry unit to surround them!
Her: We had better bring the lettuce up to date!
Me: The cabbage are under withering fire, we need support from the raspberry division! The potatoes are mashed, so well need to send the zucchini in their place!
Her: The zucchini can't take that heavy fire, they'll be grated. Send spinach for some extra iron. The sweet potatoes are digging in at the ridge.
Me: Prepare the watermelon bomb, we need to finish this! The eggplant were squashed, deploy the broccoli brigade! The beans need to get out of there, or they'll be split!
Her: Cauliflowers are going in to retrieve the beans. How brave to risk their florets!
The corn commandos are deployed, but the artichokes are all out of heart, we need to boost morale.
Me: The leeks are down! They'll be flattened if we don't do something!
Are the spinach still operational?
Her: Too bad the pepper isn't on our side, they're well seasoned troops.
Spinach is a go!
Nothing has touched it...
Me: But wait! We still have the chillies to give them heavy fire!
Her: And the squashes and peas!
Me: The ginger is holding it's ground, but it's being cut down by the pineapple!
The basil should make things interesting, send them to aid the potatoes.
**Her:
... keep reading on reddit ➡So we return home after food shopping. Sweet potatoes for sweet potato fries. Fuck yes. I was being pissy about how long we spent shopping and started helping with the cooking. I snapped saying we should have just cooked before going shopping. My girlfriend turned to me and said, "But we didn't have enough thyme on our hands"...
Edit: Grammar...
I've got oven preheated to 420f for baking sweet potatoes, wife course corrects and tells me she wants the oven set to 450f... "What, 420 isn't HIGH enough for you?"
Teenage kids reaction in the kitchen, priceless! Got a high-five from stepdaughter too!
She asked why I was microwaving the sweet potatoes instead of putting them in the oven and I told her that the turkey was in there, and I still needed to use the oven for the dressing, the veggies, and then the pie.
"Wow, there's a long waiting list for the oven!" she exclaimed.
I replied, "Yep, guess you could say it's the hot place to be tonight."
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
- Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
- It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
- What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
- Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
- Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
- Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
- If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
- Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
- Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
- American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
- The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
- Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
- Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
- Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
- Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
- Rittal me this, Batman!
- Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
- Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
- If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
- When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
- You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
- Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
- Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
- Don't think Seton is
My sister-in-law is feeding my 7 month old nephew. My dad says "Do you feed him any meats yet?" She says "We have chicken and rice and chicken and sweet potatoes." Dad replies with "That's all foul meat." Bazzzing
It started off pretty innocently. I was at work doing work stuff (I'm an apprentice boilermaker if you want to know) and came up with this...
Q. How did the bacon get to hospital? A. In the HAMbulance.
Kinda just snowballed from there...
Q. How did the sheep get to hospital? A. In the RAMbulance.
Q. How did the oyster get to hospital? A. In the CLAMbulance.
Q. How did the marmalade get to the hospital? A. In the JAMbulance.
I decided to post my hilarity on Facebook, and my brother in law dropped this one:
Q. How did the martial artist get to hospital? A. In the JEANCLAUDEVANDAMMEbulance.
And my sister chimed in too:
Q. How did the Beaver get to hospital? A. In the DAMbulance.
The next thing I knew, it just wouldn't stop...THEY JUST KEPT COMING OUT OF MY BRAIN!
Q. How did the sweet potato get to hospital? A. In the YAMbulance.
Q. How did the Indian get to hospital? A. In the PAPADAMbulance.
Q. How did the other Indian get to hospital? A. In the WIGWAMbulance.
Q. How did the insomniac get to hospital? A. In the DIAZAPAMbulance.
Q. How did the baby get to hospital? A. In the PRAMbulance.
Q. How did The Flash get to hospital? A. In the SHAZAMbulance.
I went to bed around 8.30pm. NO SLEEP FOR ME, MORE DAD JOKES TO THINK ABOUT!
Q. How did Sean Penn get to the hospital? A. In the IAMSAMbulance.
Q. How did Dr Suess get to the hospital? A. In the SAMIAMbulance.
Q. How did the exhibitionist get to hospital? A. In the WEBCAMbulance.
Q. How did the 80's pop stars get to hospital? A. In the WHAMbulance.
Q. How did the air hostess get to hospital? A. In the PAN-AMbulance.
Q. How did the POW get to hospital? A. In the VIETNAMbulance.
I'm pretty much spent at this point, but thought I would share with you guys. Maybe you've got more of your own to add?
So my family and I are eating our usual thanksgiving dinner, turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, you name it. My sister really likes sweet drinks, so she would serve her self a glass of grape juice almost right after her previous ones. After a couple of refills, my dad says "Do you want some dinner with your juice?" He says this for every damn thing. I like syrup on my waffles like the next guy but pour a little much and he says "Want some waffles with your syrup?" Every. Damn. Time.
The potato responds "I yam."
I think, therefore I yam.
