The trick to making successful puns is wearing fancy underwear.
That's my victorious secret.
Which is the most successful fruit? mElon Musk
This year's Fibonacci Convention was a great success.
It was as big as the last two combined!
What did the surgeon say after a successful hip surgery?
How do you know a successful female serial killer?
She has a run in her stalkings.
No one will ever make a successful video game about running a coffee shop.
Gamers would never put up with the amount of grinding required.
What did the farmer say about his successful scarecrow?
He’s outstanding in his field.
Will glass coffins be a success?
I successfully crossbred a human and a coffee plant
The first human bean is here
The inventors of the first successful aeroplane's parents were Asian
I guess two Wongs do make a Wright.
They say if you want to be a successful prospector, you shouldn't get a major in geology.
You should get a miner instead.
Where did the car thieves go to celebrate after a successful robbery?
There are 2 unwritten rules for a successful marriage.
If one of Domino's pizza shop collapses....
....would all the othersfall in succession?
When Gandalf was asked why his company was so successful.
He gave all the credit to his incredible staff.
Why is it hard for short people to succeed ?
Because they can’t reach their goals.
Successful Dad joke I just pulled off on wife. Full groan and everything
Wife: why do dad's have the worst jokes?
Me: It's a rule, dads have to have cringy jokes
Wife: Who makes those rules?
Me: The Dad Poet Society
Wife: groan
I think Black Holes are the most successful kleptomaniacs around...
Nothing they grab is ever returned.
Scientists finally had success breeding a donkey and a coyote!
They named it Don Quixote.
What do you call a finance minister who successfully completes his term in the office? BUCK-MINSTER-FULLER-RENE
Apparently, Neil deGrasse Tyson has a brother, who has a very successful grass-cutting business.
Success is 10% inspiration, 90% perspiration...
and 40% willingness to cheat.
How did the anatomy teacher become successful
Why are birds so successful?
Who does Orlando Bloom credit for all of his success?
No one, he’s an elf made man
We successfully went back in time and got Isaac Newton and Shakespeare to complete each other's research
Now my high school kid wants me to remind him of Newton's 3rd law of emotion
What city do the most successful urologist come from?
Doctors who are always in a rush don't seem to be very successful.
I think it's the lack of patients.
Twenty One Pilots are not a very successful band
They’re still fairly local
Finally took my chances and went put on the pull with my new aftershave called breadcrumbs
Complete success! The birds love it
I was a doctor once, but I had to quit.
I just didn’t have the patients to be successful.
An Amoeba predicted that it would successfully split itself in two.
It was a cell fulfilling prophecy
Starting a toddler footwear business is hard
But I guess small baby steps will make me successful
I developed a successful chicken social network app to earn some money on the side.
I did it to make hens meet.
Just watched an episode of MasterChef. The contestants had to successfully infuse a lump of meat with THC or get eliminated
I guess you could say the steaks were high
I recently pursued my dream career of becoming a very successful plagiarizer.
I tried, but I didn't make it.
Just wanted to share my success! I finished this puzzle I’ve been working on this morning..
It said 2-4 years, but I completed it in 3 months!
I was out by the street trying to hitchhike but every single car I stuck my thumb out for just passed me by. I began to wonder if it had something to do with the cargo shorts I was wearing.
So I went home and put on some carstop shorts, and had much better success at hitchhiking after that.
Do you know the four keys to success?
My mother’s leg was amputated 2 years ago. I wrote this punderful post to make her smile. It was more than successful and also impressed her doctor.
Why were Cardi B successful?
Because Cardi A failed and Cardi O didn’t work out.
I love the phrase "Bear with me."
It could mean "please be patient" or the "heist at the zoo" was successful.
Arrgh, I finally figured out why I haven't been successful in my pirate career, it's all because of my spine...
...it's always been holding me back.
What do successful missionaries drive?
Will glass coffins be a success?
Will glass coffins be a successful business?
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