The founder of modern study.
So I read a study the other day claiming that “humans eat more bananas than monkeys”
Which to me sounded a bit obvious. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Albert Einstein was a genius and worthy of praise and study.
His brother Frank was an absolute monster.
I should be studying
his jokes were so funny i started crying from laughter
i guess i have a sense of aqueous humor
The US Navy will start to equip all their subs with emotional support dogs. After a lot study, they decided on Dachshunds...
...they will be subma-weiners.
There was a recent study showing that crows were hit a lot more by trucks than cars...
they came to the conclusion that this was because crows can warn each other by going "CAAAR CAAAR" but can't say "TRUCK TRUCK"
I was recently rejected from a mushroom studying school.
They said there wasn't mushroom for a fungi like me.
What do you call a scientist who studies avian sexuality?
I conducted a study for Steve Jobs regarding the lack of evolution in his employees.
Those are Apple Bottom Genes.
Gabe was muttering incoherently. He'd been up all night studying for the history exam.
I poked my head in his room, and he was blathering about how he wanted to quit school and be a truck driver.
"I'm gonna get one of those big beautiful Peterbuilts, with all the running lights everywhere. Or maybe a Mack with an extended cab..."
"Better brew him a pot of coffee," I told his mother. "The final is in a half hour, and he's only semi-conscious."
I was studying for my history exam and really struggling. I asked my mum what I should do...
“Why don’t you help me with the laundry? Its whites today.” She said.
“How will that help?” I asked.
“Well I hear whitewashing is good for revising history.”
What does a seal study in school?
Art, Art, Art, Art, Art, ....
Researchers are studying beavers when clocks were put in their homes
I don’t trust double blind studies
It’s literally the blind leading the blind.
What kind of equipment do you need to study birds?
An independent study showed that the average household in America uses 3.14 pumpkins between Halloween and thanksgiving
No wonder they call it pumpkin pi!!!!
Recent studies are examining the effects of replacing birdbath water with alcohol
Its bird-gin-ing research.
Studying Chemistry at the moment, I just learned that Sulphuric acid should never be left in a metal beaker..
..It's an oxidant waiting to happen.
I have two college friends who studied ancient Egyptian plumbing.
They were pharaoh faucet majors.
My brother is starting a history degree and one of his modules is studying the Stuarts
My dad asked, "Jackie or Rod?"
I got picked for this five-day-a-week, year-long sleep study. It pays $15,000 a month.
Studies have shown that sheepskin face masks are incredibly effective...
They keep the baahhhhhd germs out.
I wrote a card for my friend who just graduated high school and wants to study geology and/or paleontology in college. She also likes puns :)
I have decided to go to a city in SW France to study history and art.
I figure, what do I have Toulouse.
Harvard University just ran a study proving 74% of the countries have flawed dams and it was dismissed
because it didnt hold water
How often do people who study scientific elements tell dad jokes?
Studies show habitual marijuana smokers have increased saliva production
When asked if there was any prevention, scientists stated you can either spit or get off the pot.
I had this blood test last week and didn't study
Good thing I managed to get a B+
Studies show alcoholic law students...
...are more likely to have trouble passing the bar.
What do you call someone who studies ancient Egyptian plumbing?
I know a religious woman living in a monastery who studies the encyclopedia...
I was studying to be a doctor for 3 years
But I stopped because I didn't have the patients
A geology/geography/aerodynamics study that a sandstorm in Africa can blow sand and dust as far as to even Florida
So anyways, I dust the grains down from africa
What do you study in music college?
Study’s show people who suffer insomnia are really into there research.
They won’t rest until they find a cure.
Math is homophobic
Its always straight lines, never gay lines.
How do you know if a zombie studied law?
He always eats the arms first, however, legislator.
Student, studying music: "What's a Polonaise?"
Teacher, a dad: "Polish mayonnaise."
Accordion to a recent study, 90% of people didn’t realize
I put an instrument at the start of this sentence.
How do you get through college with a constant erection?
New study determines what 99% of kids homeschool hate the most
Barnyard studies have consistently found
that two out of three pigs use inferior building materials.
So, I read a study the other day claiming that "humans eat more bananas than monkeys".
Which - to me - sounded a bit obvious. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
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