At first I was really concerned, but then I realized it was just dire rhetoric.
I asked her to keep it brief.
Today I lectured to medical students. I invited a fellow faculty member to the lecture, but did not see him. His name is Gene.
The lecture was on pain processing. Part of the lecture covers the role of CGRP, or calcitonin gene-related peptide.
The email I get after lecture:
"Nice job. I didn't even know that I was related to calcitonin peptide!"
He said, “Sorry. There is no Time.”
He puts on his Socrates.
The blackboard is now chalk-full of information
Judge: Why did you bring a taser to your lecture?
Defendent: Well you see sir, I have a hard time getting up in the morning. But I’m not a big fan of soft drinks or coffee, so I thought the next best thing was to give me a good shock.
"My dog ate my computer."
I’m too good for it, and I have a feeling that the book is going to lecture me.
It's baffling.
They are all free speech!
https://www.battleforthenet.com/
Stop the FCC from removing net neutrality!
So far, I find it very boring
He kept calling the professor a quack.
We laughed and we laughed then the bell rang and we all went to the cafeteria
I was speechless.
If I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times!
"Two Wrights do make an airplane."
"I'm proud of you. You're still grounded though."
They tend to babylon
A duck got a job at a farm, where there was a chicken who ran the place. The chicken was delighted to have the duck join his crew, he personally took the duck around the place and introduced him to all the other farm animals. At the end of the tour the duck asked a question. Duck: Is there anything I should avoid doing here? Chicken: Don't cross the road, you'll never hear the end of it.
Bonus: http://blog.rafihecht.com/files/2013/02/chicken-crossing-road.jpg
A Khan artist.
Me: What's today's Criminology class on?
Friend: Cannibals.
Me: (gasps) A Hannibal Lecture!
Oh, varies.
It was a PowerPoint presentation.
As a result, I couldn't see DeForest through the trees
I found it hard to achieve class consciousness.
A cannibal lecture.
My professor was talking about Barbara McClintocks work on corn kernel genetics. He stops all the sudden and says "her work really is not all that a-mazeing." He then proceed to look around to see if we laughed, Which almost no one did, cleared his throat and went back to lecturing.
Because the paracetamol.
-One of my college lecturers, just now
Discussing electrical current and he introduced us to Kirchhoff's current law.
"This is Kirchhoff's current law. I don't know what his previous law was, but this is the current one."
It was mental.
>Do you know where the smartest and most reasonable people work? > At the US mint, because all they do is make cents!
I thought it was over and then two minutes further into the lecture.... >Do you know where else really smart and reasonable people work? > At a perfume factory! All they do is make scents!
Now I am just sitting here posting this and trying to think of more puns...
A boar!
We are in medical pharmacology right now and are starting a series of lectures on chemotherapies. My professor begins the lecture by saying "Who's ready to learn about cancer drugs?!"
This guy gets on the mic, and says, "I'm more of a Libra drug kind of guy."
Getting your boron.
Talking about particle detectors he asked the audience what gases were used in them. No-one has a clue.
"So... I guess that's hard to gas"
I was the only one laughing.
The whiteboard is always a mess from the previous class and every week my lecturer has been getting more and more annoyed that the previous guy doesn't clean the board after use.
This morning as he begrudgingly stepped towards the board he sighed and asked the heavens, "when will be the day that I stop having to wipe this board?"
I said to him, "I think the writing's on the wall Professor."
I got one cackled laugh amongst many groans
My loud response: "It's ambiguous!"
crickets
He said, “Sorry. No Time.”
He said, “Sorry. No time.”
He said, “Sorry. No time.”
He said, “Sorry. No time.”
He said, “Sorry. No time.”
He said, “Sorry. No time.”
I’m too good for it, and I have a feeling that the book is going to lecture me.
I’m too good for it, and I have a feeling that the book will lecture me.
I’m too good for it, and I have a feeling that the book will try to lecture me.
