I was taught to never use the Oxford comma
by Mrs. Henderson, my high school English teacher and a first-rate whore.
During quarantine I taught myself origami...
I’ve in-creased my output ten fold...
If being around baby chickens has taught me one thing...
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
I taught a wolf to meditate.
I taught my kid to speed read today. He read Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone in 3 hours!
I know its only 6 words.. but its a start!
I taught my chickens to perform classical music.
You should hear their Bok cantatas.
Just taught my 6yr old calculus and advanced physics. Amazing what kids can learn.
Which happens to be jack shit.
If science has taught me anything, it’s to never trust an Adam
A guy says he taught his dog Morse code. "Aye right Show me." Mate says. Guy turns to dog and asks "who's been a good boy then?" Dog uses paw on ground. Tap tap pause tap long pause tap pause tap pause tap long pause tap pause tap pause tap long pause tap tap tap pause tap. "what he say?" Mate asks
I taught a dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground.
We went from Barking to Tooting in 20 minutes!
Growing up I was only taught 25 letters of the alphabet..
the other night, my dad taught me his famous stew recipe. it went great, the only issue we had was with the herbs i wanted to use. he told me “you’re wrong about the parsley...
but that’s okay because you’re right on thyme”
My dad taught me how to use a Phillips today
My father always taught me to be prepared for any emergency. I was on the ball when the streets flooded...
Getting glasses has really taught me a lot
I’m seeing things so clearly now.
My late Dad was a rebellious Chef by nature. He taught me to never..
Today, I taught my son how to zest a lime...
Microsoft has taught children how to work and how to form a great pun sequence.
I taught my pet rodent to chew holes in car tires.
He is now my little "Deflator Mouse".
I'm so grateful to the guys who taught me the word 'Plethora'.
I taught my daughter what the word bargain meant...
She said, “Thanks dad, that means a great deal.”
I taught my four year old son how to use the word abundance in a sentence.
He said "thanks Dad, that really means a lot".
If the Kavanaugh ordeal has taught us anything it's that the things you do in these college boys' clubs will follow you...
After a lot of tries, I finally taught my cat to fetch the newspaper.
You know what they say, practice makes purr fetch
My brother-in-law taught his offspring a seasoning that is an excellent addition to omelets and egg strata...
It was good father-son-thyme.
Once, there was an elderly Italian who taught others to use mint in their cooking.
I taught my kid speed reading and I’m proud to say that he managed to finish “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone” in an hour and a half.
I know it’s only six words, but it’s a start.
I am really grateful to my math teacher in elementary school who taught us how to subtract numbers.
She really encouraged us to make a difference.
For years, my family has always taught me that alcohol and golf don't go well together.
That's why I don't drink and drive.
Who ever taught my kids to hold their tongue and say things......
You were born on a pirate ship.
My Dad always taught me that in adultery there are no winners
but participation is more important than winning
A music project in the ghetto taught a lot of youngsters to play string instruments. The crime rate dropped significantly.
But now they have a lot of violins
I finally taught my dog do do his business outside...
He started with a lemonade stand and eventually earned enough to move into a new dogcondo down the street.
When I was little, my dad taught me how to use a shovel.
For me, it was a groundbreaking discovery.
My dad taught his homing pigeons to dance to rap music.
Now they're homie pigeons.
Did you hear about the experoment where they taught insects to use microsoft office?
The whole thing was Excel Ant
If being around baby chickens has taught me one thing...
I taught a wolf to meditate
I taught my daughter the word many
Today I taught my son what it means to own a parcel of land.
He was very appreciative. He said thanks, that means a lot.
I taught a wolf to meditate.
I taught my daughter what bargain meant.
She said: "Thanks dad, that means a great deal."
I taught my son the meaning of abundance
He said: thanks dad, that really means a lot
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
