My son claims that he identifies as an ancient Greek string instrument.

Frankly, I think he's a lyre.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 218
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SayLittleDoMuch
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 09 2019
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A music project in the ghetto taught a lot of youngsters to play string instruments. The crime rate dropped significantly.

But now they have a lot of violins

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Arthur_Decosta
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 28 2019
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Why was the movie about string instruments in a mafia,rated r?

Because it had too much violins.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Tiramisuafficionado
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 11 2019
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I saw a guy beating somebody up with a string instrument, so I intervened.

I said to him, β€œViolin is not the answer.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/4DimensionalToilet
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 18 2019
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Can you help me with a crossword? I need another word for "Instruments in a string quartet."

Because violins is never the answer.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mad87Wallaby
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 17 2018
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What are those weird string instruments called? twitter.com/MrPresidentTo…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/twin802
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 08 2016
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My ex used to hit me with a stringed instrument every day.

If only i had known about her history of violins.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Anonymous8776
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 10 2020
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I get very aggressive when I'm forced to play certain stringed instruments

Don't make me use violins.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 52
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Joey_Jingle_Bells
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 10 2019
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Did you hear about the man who was beaten with stringed instruments?

It was a brutal act of violins.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 14 2019
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My ex-girlfriend used to beat me with stringed instruments.

I didn’t know she had a history with Violins.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 36
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Teeter925
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 04 2018
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I love this
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thatswack69
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 14 2020
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A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection...

The judge asks, β€œFirst offender?” The wife replies, β€œNo, first a Gibson, then a Fender.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dohpaz42
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 21 2019
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I walked into a music store in Chinatown

And started looking at some string instruments. The owner came up to me and said "Cello, good buy!". Confused, I walked out thinking 'what a rude way to greet a customer...'

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Hlee89
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 27 2020
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My wife plays violin. I used to play trumpet. Last night we talked aviation.

My wife plays violin and her first rehearsal with a new orchestra is near. She had access to an electronic copy of the music, but wondered whether the orchestra would distribute paper copies at the rehearsal. For orchestras, the section leaders decide when everyone's bows will be moving up vs. down and annotate the music accordingly. Copies of the annotated music are distributed to the players. As a trumpet player who's never needed that kind of annotation, I've always been able to use the originals.

Wife: "String players never play from the originals because we have bowings."

Me: "And wind players have Airbuses!"

Wife: "That joke was just plane awful."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tfofurn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 31 2016
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My ex-girlfriend used to beat me with stringed instruments...

She seemed nice to start, with no history of violins.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 25 2018
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