Isn't that a straight pun?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theEndWasShit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
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After getting my first vaccine I asked the nurse what super power do I get, but she just looked straight through me.

Looks like I might have invisibility!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EnglustPoet
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
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I remember asking my dad repeatedly what the acronym LGBTQ meant.

I never got a straight answer.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OMMOPOWER
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
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Straight Outta Bhutan
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FermentToBee
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
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If there’s a line of gay people, it’s not a straight line...

It’s an LGBT Queue

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Evanthekid16
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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The sergeant asked the private to 'stand up straight'.

The private said, "That's a tall order, sir."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KnightmareRival
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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What is a straight guy’s favorite kind of beans?

Lesbeans

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheesenbooty
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
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It doesn't matter if youre straight, gay or bisexual

At the end of the day, its night

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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How often do pirate attacks occur?
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HaltingHall0
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
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When I get home my wife's underwear is coming straight off...

They're cutting right into my hips.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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My boss is threatening to fire the employee with the worst posture.

I have a hunch it might be me.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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this one came straight from my dad

the invention of the shovel was truly groundbreaking

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Admiral_tax
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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Im tired of being misunderstood and I’m going to get straight to the point!

I’m drawing a line in the sand.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HappyRamenMan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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*Epic title.*
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asif366
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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Proud Dad Moment

Last month, a guy in Cincinnati stole a salt truck and led police on a 30 minute chase. (true story) At one point he tried to dump the load of salt on a police car. I told my teenage daughter this and she looked at me with a straight face and said β€œI guess they’re going to arrest him for assaulting an officer.” 😁

Never been prouder of my daughter. 😎

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisgoggs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
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120 degrees
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spinnaker190
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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I did my navigation task and it lead me straight to you...❀️❀️❀️
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hustle_champ
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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Why won't swords go obsolete?

They are cutting edge technology.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/U-r-a-bus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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I used to be addicted to eating Thanksgiving leftovers straight out of the fridge

But then I quit cold turkey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SayLittleDoMuch
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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My son told me he can drink a whole glass a whiskey straight.

Personally, I think it's neat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Adomoto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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I once sat next to a baby on a 10 hour flight. I had no idea that it was possible for someone to cry for 10 hours straight.

Even the baby was impressed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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Fly straight and stay safe, boys
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AsAP0Verlord
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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Straight, neat, or on the rocks?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_Jockstrap
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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My grandfather turned 90 today, but he still doesn’t need glasses.

He drinks straight from the bottle.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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A gay Rook is a Bishop because it isn't straight.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaredLiwet
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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My bird nosedived straight into a running blender this morning...

All that’s left is shredded tweet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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Why did pilots use to have such a hard time flying straight?

All they had was biplanes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HeyArnoldPalmer2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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Negative

True story, I work in the health industry, get to ask these questions from time to time:

Me: Good morning (of course no matter what time of day it is)! I have 4 questions for you, let’s see if you studied for the test...

Patient: (most of the time, chuckle)

Me: Have you had a fever in the last 48 hours?

Patient: No

Me: Have you had a persistent cough recently?

Patient: No

Me: Have you been tested for COVID-19 recently?

Patient (sometimes): Yes

Me: Do you know the results of the test?

Patient (about 85% of the time): Negative

Me: You don’t know the results of the test? (Straight face behind mask)

Patient: It was negative

Me: (smile and chuckle showing through mask)

Patient: Ohhhh! I get it! (Laughs 95% of the time)

Me: Dad jokes have to happen... πŸ™‚

/insert question #4 here, unrelated to said joke... heh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cidici
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
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So let me get this straight...

9♣️, 10β™₯️, J♦️, Q♣️, K♦️

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πŸ‘€︎ u/postphysique
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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If everyone in the world linked hands and stood in a straight line

Most of them would drown

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xtilexx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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Any time I ask my dad how he learned Braille, he refuses to give me a straight answer.

For him, it’s a touchy subject.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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One out of ten dentists recommends...

... that you brush your teeth with straight, undiluted corn syrup.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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I ate something intangible last night.

It went straight through me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
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[REQUEST] I'll get straight to the point, I need a knife pun

As the title says, I need a pun that involves two unlikely friends. Knives and Charity/donations.

Any help would be appreciated!

Knife to be here in this community

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oliverpls599
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
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Which dinosaur was the best at playing basketball?

The LeBrontosaurus

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
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Wikipedia speaking straight facts
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jjthetrainman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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Damn those waves
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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What do you call a cross between a transformer and a hippo

Optapotamus Prime

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snuggeybug
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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What’s the difference between 2016-2020 America and a set of braces?

There is none, they both promote being white and straight

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pax_flash
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
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My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with metaphors...

Came straight out of the blue. Took the wind right out of my sails.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
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Wikipedia speaking straight facts
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jjthetrainman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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"Let me get this straight, you want me to write a kids song about a dog with a funny "name-o"

"Bingo."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/asiers
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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It doesn't matter if you're black or white, or gay or straight

At the end of the day, it's night.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Speedypanda4
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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