This left me in stitches...
This card had me in stitches.
Today’s Argyle Sweater had me… in stitches.
I told me my doctor I didn’t want her to give me stitches.
She said “fine, suture self.”
I had myself in stitches thinking this pun up
What did the doctor say to his patient that wanted to do his own stitches?
I invented an at home kit for giving yourself stitches.
I'm calling it Suture Self.
I was in A&E with a bad cut. I asked the nurse if I could do my own stitches. She said “suture self”.
Grandpa had me in stitches with this one.
So we're at a T-shirt shop when he looks over at the tank tops.
Grandpa: Must be an awfully small tank if that's the top for it.
I love lilo and stitch and puns so I made this
Why was Stitch obsessed with stealing everyone’s left shoe?
Because Jumba believed everyone should start the day off on the right foot
I spent a solid month stitching together old wristwatches to make a belt
It was a waist of time...
Proud dad moment
We got our daughter a craft table for her 11th Birthday this past weekend. She also got the sewing machine too.
With gratitude, she smiles and says with a wink, “That is sew cool”.
My friend writes songs about sewing machines.
He's a Singer songwriter. Or sew it seams.
We all know that Albert Einstein was a genius...
But very few people know his brother Frank was a monster.
I’m really into stitching food puns now! 😝🍕☺️
Embroidery / Needlework Puns
Does anyone know any Embroidery puns or puns relating to stitching, needle, thread, hoops.?
Have you heard the one about the Surgeon?
It'll leave you in stitches
True Story: tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
The lady who hems my pants appeared anxious...
In fact, I know she seamstressed
What do you say when someone wants to stitch their own wound?
My sister cross stitched this for me for Christmas.
My latest cross stitch creations
The other day I walked into my son's room and found him with an open first aid kit, preparing to stitch up a cut on his forearm.
I told him to stop and that I would take him to the doctor for a more rofessional job. He told me he wanted to do it as he was working on his first aid merit badge for the boy scouts. So I said, "Suture self."
Nurse: Wow, that cut looks pretty bad...want me to stitch it up for you?
Me: No, thanks.
Nurse: Fine. Suture self...
My urologist and I kept joking around during my last visit.
At the surgery this bloke told me "I don't trust you to stitch my wound" "
I told the doctor at the ER that I could do my own stitch work.
He replied “Okay, suture self”
My friend always wears this jacket which has LED lights stitched onto the back.
He is such a LED-back person.
My sewing instructor just told me that I’m the worst student she has ever seen.
So, you don’t trust a doctor to stitch you up?
Two doctors are out hiking and the first one trips and cuts his knee pretty badly on a rock. The second doctor says, "That looks pretty bad. Want me to stitch that up for you?" The first doctor says, "Nah, I got it."
The second doctor responds, "Suture self."
The other day I had a patient who didn’t want to let me stitch up his laceration. Well fine...
My friends dad is quite the stitch.
Talking to her dad about pumpkin cheesecake cookies
Friend: "They are here for a limited time only."
Her dad: "Well yeah of course once you eat them they are gone."
I once went to work drunk and put too many double or multiple folds in a garment or other item made of cloth, held by stitching at the top or side.
It was replete with pleats.
My mother is a gangster
She doesn't say "I'm going to mend your trousers", she says "britches get stitches".
What organization is best at helping people with all of their sewing and stitching projects?
I feel a bit bad for making blanket statements.....
They're my quilty pleasure
I need help with my sewing
Did you here about the man who fell into an upholstery machine?
I've got a date with a woman form the sewing machine factory.
What did the doctor say to the patient who wanted to do their own stitches?
I was about to stitch up her wound but she insisted she do it herself.
"Fine," i said. "Suture self."
I got fired from my job of making a double or multiple fold in a garment or other item made of cloth, held by stitching the top or side.
Everyone in my sewing class thinks I’m the worst they have ever seen.
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