Let's say I raised the bar and set the steaks.
Man, they’re really getting grilled!
It was a big McSteak.
He ordered his steak well done and the waitress said “Wow that’s rare!” He replied with “No it’s well done.”
My response was "It's a house made of steaks. Except the floor of course. That's made of ground beef."
Heard the wife's eyes roll from across the room.
Edit: repeat words
It was a big missed steak.
Infront chickenapartment lmao why did I find this so funny 😂
Who doesn't Love Meat Tender!
I asked if we could get some for the humans too.
Waiter: Good evening!
Dad: Good evening, its very nice to meat you
I asked the waiter what was on a dressed baked potato and my dad chimed in with "a suit and tie". The waiter and I lost it while the rest of my family stared.
They were so delicious, not having one would have been a missed steak...
Waiter "and how would you like that prepared"
Everyone else sighs
Gonna do it at a nice steakhouse. Thinking about what I should say, but I also want to throw in a "dad joke" to make her laugh a bit since she likes those.
You know, like the song.
"Ciabatta watch out. Ciabatta not cry...."
Gf: i wanna go to a steakhouse.
Me: That doesn't seem structurally sound.
Me: Houses like that must be quite rare...
I have always made dad jokes, when my fiancé got pregnant I was happy because I could get away with saying them now. I was at training for my new job the other day and we were booked in for lunch at a local steakhouse.
The trainer was asking us about stake holders in the company and she said who are our stake holders? To which I replied "I don't know but I will be a steak holder at lunch" the rest of the class then all moaned and let me know how I was such a dad except for the other dad in the class who joined me laughing hysterically!
Workers at a new steakhouse discovered that removing fiberglass steer from their shipping platforms is an unpalatable job.
Japanese Hibatchi steakhouse, all the chefs in cheesy cowboy outfits.
Dad: I guess you're from Western Japan.
Chef: Oooo got me there.
My family was going out to dinner one night at a nice steakhouse, I excused myself to go to the bathroom. As I walked up to a urinal, I saw my dad walk to the urinal beside me. We both got down to business, my dad said "So this is where all the dicks hang out huh?" then finished up and left. I couldn't make eye contact with my father for the rest of the night....
I walk into a Longhorn Steakhouse with my dad and we see four nuns sitting at a table making their order... My dad looks at me and says: "I guess they couldn't resist the flesh".
Another time: It was Easter weekend and we're at the airport to pick up my sister. Waiting at arrivals is a group of three nuns... My dad says: "Who are they here to pick up? Pontius Pilot?"