What do you call a child on fire at a steakhouse?

Flaming young

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImprezaGrant
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29
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I own a steakhouse pub in which the counter can actually pop in and out of the floor

Let's say I raised the bar and set the steaks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SumFunnyOne
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02
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Everywhere I look there’s another article about Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse caught up in the Coronavirus relief fund scandal.

Man, they’re really getting grilled!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madbear84
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
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Did you hear about Mcdonald's trying to get into the steakhouse market?

It was a big McSteak.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
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A man walks into a steakhouse

He ordered his steak well done and the waitress said β€œWow that’s rare!” He replied with β€œNo it’s well done.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Winkler100
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
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My daughter had asked me what a Steakhouse was ..

My response was "It's a house made of steaks. Except the floor of course. That's made of ground beef."

Heard the wife's eyes roll from across the room.

Edit: repeat words

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spyrulfyre
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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I went vegan for a dinner at a steakhouse...

It was a big missed steak.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rattlee_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
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No joke me dad just said this: Whats better than Outback Steakhouse?

Infront chickenapartment lmao why did I find this so funny πŸ˜‚

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wschwarzhoff
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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I've always wanted to start and Elvis Presley themed Steakhouse...

Who doesn't Love Meat Tender!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaymantheLegend
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2018
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At a steakhouse for grandpa's 93rd birthday yesterday, the waiter brings a basket of rolls for the table

I asked if we could get some for the humans too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ReallyNotRoot
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2018
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A jewish person walks into Outback Steakhouse and orders his favorite steak on the menu

Rabbi

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aparks1437
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2018
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Dad dropped this one in the steakhouse yesterday

Waiter: Good evening!

Dad: Good evening, its very nice to meat you

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madmidget
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2014
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We were at Outback Steakhouse...

I asked the waiter what was on a dressed baked potato and my dad chimed in with "a suit and tie". The waiter and I lost it while the rest of my family stared.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YourShoeIsUntied
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2014
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Last Valentine's, I took my girlfriend to a steakhouse and ordered 2 Filet Mignons for myself.

They were so delicious, not having one would have been a missed steak...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MetalGilSolid
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2015
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At the steakhouse tonight to a dad waiter

Waiter "and how would you like that prepared"

Dad "cooked"

Waiter "hahahaahhhahahahaha"

Dad "hahahahahahahahhaahah"

Everyone else sighs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/llmlekoll
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2013
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Calling all dads with jokes: What's a good "dad joke" to work into my proposal for my girlfriend tonight?

Gonna do it at a nice steakhouse. Thinking about what I should say, but I also want to throw in a "dad joke" to make her laugh a bit since she likes those.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bdunc956
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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So I told my kids we were having some special Christmas bread.

Ciabatta.

You know, like the song.

"Ciabatta watch out. Ciabatta not cry...."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pseu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2014
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Girlfriend was trying to decide on a restaurant

Gf: i wanna go to a steakhouse.

Me: That doesn't seem structurally sound.

Gf: sigh

Me: Houses like that must be quite rare...

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2015
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I've always made them but this one got me some good recognition

I have always made dad jokes, when my fiancΓ© got pregnant I was happy because I could get away with saying them now. I was at training for my new job the other day and we were booked in for lunch at a local steakhouse.

The trainer was asking us about stake holders in the company and she said who are our stake holders? To which I replied "I don't know but I will be a steak holder at lunch" the rest of the class then all moaned and let me know how I was such a dad except for the other dad in the class who joined me laughing hysterically!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/girdles
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2014
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Unpacking fiberglass steer

Workers at a new steakhouse discovered that removing fiberglass steer from their shipping platforms is an unpalatable job.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gone4011s
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2015
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Dad dropped bombs all night long...

Japanese Hibatchi steakhouse, all the chefs in cheesy cowboy outfits.

Dad: I guess you're from Western Japan.
Chef: Oooo got me there.

Groans.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nrthstar
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2014
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Urinal Dad Jokes

My family was going out to dinner one night at a nice steakhouse, I excused myself to go to the bathroom. As I walked up to a urinal, I saw my dad walk to the urinal beside me. We both got down to business, my dad said "So this is where all the dicks hang out huh?" then finished up and left. I couldn't make eye contact with my father for the rest of the night....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LurkingTurkey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2015
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Nuns

I walk into a Longhorn Steakhouse with my dad and we see four nuns sitting at a table making their order... My dad looks at me and says: "I guess they couldn't resist the flesh".

Another time: It was Easter weekend and we're at the airport to pick up my sister. Waiting at arrivals is a group of three nuns... My dad says: "Who are they here to pick up? Pontius Pilot?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lacagada
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2013
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