The local police station has had its toilet stolen
Officers have nothing to go on.
π︎ 175
π
︎ Dec 17 2020
Someone stole the toilet at the police station last night
Cops have nothing to go on
π︎ 198
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
A women was getting petrol at a petrol station and spilt some on her arm.
She rubbed the petrol off and drove away. While on the road, she lit a cigarette and her arm caught on fire. Concerned, she started waving her arm out the side of the car.
Amongst all this, the police pulled her over. "What am I under arrest for?" The officer replied "for having a firearm"
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 31 2020
Got really emotional at the petrol station today.
Don't know why, just started filling up.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 21 2020
Do you know why air pumps at gas stations used to be free but are now $1.50?
π︎ 233
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
I keep complementing my local gas station when training my dog.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 02 2021
What is the difference between an old bus station and a crab with a boob job?
Ones a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Jul 09 2020
I went to the local petrol station
There was nothing coming out of the nozzle. I walked to the kiosk and i said, have you got your pumps on?
He said, no, I'm wearing flip-flops
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 29 2020
Police stations dog squad got robbed today.
Police officials donβt have any leads at this time.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 17 2020
I think the girl at the Airlines check-in just threatened me.
She looked me dead in the eye and said, βWindow or aisle?β
I laughed in her face and replied, βWindow or youβll what?β
π︎ 20k
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
There's a giant fly attacking the police station
Don't worry, I've called in the SWAT team
π︎ 46
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
I saw a graffiti artist spraying a police station in a thick font.
π︎ 22
π
︎ Nov 18 2020
My dad doesn't like filling stations.
He says they give him gas.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 22 2020
There's an epidemic of exploding toilets at police stations.
Cops have nothing to go on.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Nov 12 2020
A man has been stealing wheels of police cars.
The police is working tirelessly to catch him.
π︎ 281
π
︎ Dec 24 2020
I grew up after covered wagons, but before space stations.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Oct 16 2020
Compressed air at gas stations used to be FREE, but now you have to pay $2!
π︎ 83
π
︎ Aug 15 2020
I saw a woman at the gas station pumping gas and trying to light a cigarette
I went inside to pay and saw two policemen in the store. I said "Did you guys see that woman out there?" They looked outside and suddenly darted out the door. I turn and see she caught her arm on fire.
The policemen threw a blanket around her and wrestled her to the ground and put out the fire. Then they gave her a ticket!
After they came inside I asked why they gave her a ticket. Turns out she didn't have a license for that firearm.
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Feb 28 2020
A little boy walked into a police station
"I lost my daddy" says the boy. "We'll look for him son, don't worry: what's he like?" asked the officer. "Liquor and women."
π︎ 14
π
︎ Sep 20 2020
What do you call a hand sanitizer station that's empty?
A hand sani-teaser....
....
....
Because you think you're going to get your hand sanitized, but you don't, cause it's empty, so it's teasing you...
Yeah?
Yeah?
aww....
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 16 2020
What did the supervillain say when he got off at the last train station?
It's the end of the line for me!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 10 2020
Went to the Police Station yesterday and started singing Rock a bye baby.
The Sargent stopped me and said, "No sir, we need an alibi."
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 07 2020
What time does the train pull into the station?
Choo-choo thirty, I'd say.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 01 2020
Someone stole all the toilets from the local police station!
Theyβre looking for the culprits, but they have nothing to go on.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 04 2020
Have you guys seen the International space station??
Its out of this world!
How it works is above me!
Someone tried to explain it to me but it flew right above my head!
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jul 29 2020
One of the local radio stations had a "Worst Pun" contest.
The best part was you could submit multiple entries, and I sent in a bunch, at least 10. I figured the more I came up with, one of them had to win.
But, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 19 2020
A legit conversation today with my 2 1/2 year old son as we do our daily stroll past a train station that for once, has no trains stationed...
Son: Daddy, where is Thomas?
Daddy: I donβt know, mate.
Son: He must be working from home today.
Is this his first dad joke?? Strange what they must be picking up from conversations. Got me good.
π︎ 600
π
︎ Apr 25 2020
My son tried to make me a rest bed with a built-in water station, but the water kept squirting out.
I smiled and told him, "Hey, it's the cot that founts!"
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 16 2020
They say there's a cryptid by the train station that drinks American whiskey late at night
But I'm sure that's just a bourbon legend.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 25 2020
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk I have a work station...
π︎ 31
π
︎ Jul 22 2020
What do you call someone who cleans the outside of the International Space Station?
π︎ 77
π
︎ May 21 2020
I don't think this train has left the station.
π︎ 11
π
︎ May 26 2020
I went over to a station where people could gather and entertain themselves with games. On the entrance was marked β5β
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 22 2020
Thieves have broken into and stolen all the toilets at the Police Station
Detectives have nothing to go on
π︎ 22
π
︎ May 14 2020
After the most historic series of fires ever, an arsonist goes into the police station to turn himself in.
It was his claim to flame
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 09 2020
Whatβs the difference between a dirty bus depot and a lobster with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
Iβll see myself out...
π︎ 110
π
︎ Nov 13 2020
Were did the bee go pee?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 29 2020
What is something a Christian kid plays?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
Handing myself into the police station after posting this
π︎ 30
π
︎ Jan 07 2020
Remember when you could go to gas stations and put air in your tires for free? Now itβs $1.75! You know why?
π︎ 248
π
︎ Nov 01 2019
What has three letters and starts with gas?
π︎ 613
π
︎ Jul 06 2020
I ate some really spicy food at a gas station.
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 22 2020
Remember when air was free at the gas station, now itβs $1.50. You know why?
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Jul 22 2020
Remember when they used to have air at the gas station for free? Now itβs $1.50
π︎ 13
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
Before air was free at the gas station, and now you have to pay for it? You know why?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 18 2020
Air used to be free at gas stations, now it's $1.50. Know why?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
Someone stole the toilet seat at the police station
Investigators have nothing to go on.
π︎ 375
π
︎ Aug 31 2020
Someone has stole all the toilet paper from the police station.
Police say at the moment we have nothing to go on.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 07 2020
Someone stole all the toilet seats at the police station.
The police are trying to find the thief but they have nothing to go on.
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 07 2020
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