Starbucks Coffee Puns

“Grande macchiato with oat milk, please.”

The cashier started to process his order, until the man asked “Why are you wearing a surgical mask?”

“I’m not”, said the barista, “it’s a coughy filter”.

Be sure to say, "Thanks, a latte!"

But it turns out there were no grounds.

The barista says "well, that's a tall order..."

As she handed me my coffee she coughed and the conversation went like this

Me: that'll be 2.99.

Her: Excuse me?

Me: Well, that's the price of the cough fee

Her: Please exit the line sir

My dad, when asked, always says his name is "Free" at coffee shops. When his drink order is up and they call out his name, he asks, "Is it for Free?" Before people get it, he snatches it and runs off laughing.

Dad: It's worth a shot.

Son: daddy?

Me: yes?

Son: yes?

Me: are you copying me?

Son: are you copying me?

Me: Starbucks

Son: Starbucks

Me: are you coffee-ing me?

I used to work at a starbucks with my best bud to earn some extra cash after school. Every day an hour or so before closing without fail this older indian man would come in and order two large coffees.

We started to talk with the guy since there weren't many other people in the shop and he told us is name was Haind Sahit and that he was a night worker which is why he drank the coffee. After a while, we would just have the coffee ready for him as soon as he came in the door.

One evening my friend went out back to pick some supplies for refill and had to get something from the top shelf, being a short guy he grabbed an old ladder and started climbing but one of the steps broke and he fell and hit his head pretty hard.

He was rushed to the hospital and woke up a couple days later with no major damages but with a light case of amnesia.

Once he got back on his legs he started working at the starbucks again and as soon as Haind heard, he came back to see how my friend was and stepped up to the desk to greet him. Sadly my friend couldn't remember him at all and just asked what he would like to order. Haind turned around with a tear in his eyes and said "You know, you should really have checked that ladder before you used it".

There was a glimmer in my friends eye and he immediatly started preparing two large coffees. As Haind saw he started smiling and crying and came around the desk to give my friend a hug. He asked my friend "What happened, how did you remember?" and my friend answered "Haind Sahit is always venti venti".

My teacher helped my team after class to work on some practice problems.

Teacher: What questions do you have?

Girl in my group: Starts explaining questions but stops to drink her Starbucks coffee.

Teacher (to the group): I think she's more concerned about her coffee than the question.

Girl in my group: What? I didn't have enough coffee today!

Teacher: I think you may have had too much coffee today!

Me: Too much coffee? I haven't heard her cough once!

Teacher: With a huge smile on his face he let out a massive groan. He then picks up my pencil and tosses it to the other side of the room.

Fun semester. Definitely miss that class.

She came in after a meeting today and had a Starbucks Coffee. We all asked why she didn't get us anything and she told us, "I meet my husband for coffee after the meeting and then came here" To which I replied, "you just met him now? I thought you've been married for 20 years"

Multiple face palms

So being a /r/dadjokes kind of dad, naturally I told him, "My son, you are just like a drink from Starbucks... you're coffee." (works better verbally or if you're a bad speller).

I was in the car with with both my parents, turning into Starbucks where we see an ambulance parked with its lights flashing. As we get closer, two paramedics come out of the store with a man on a stretcher. My dad drives up to order from the drive thru and says...

"So I heard you guys have some killer coffee."

I went to starbucks the other day and ordered a tall blonde, but all they gave me was a coffee.

We were at Starbucks and at the counter, there was a Proposition 65 warning that ground coffee beans give off a chemical that can give cancer. My dad then turns to me and says, "Pilots must not get cancer. They always stay away from the ground. Pilots also have to follow some strict ground rules." I groaned, and he finished it off by saying, "Hey, you better watch it. I might just ground you." Well played, Dad. Well played.

The coffee machine was broken and someone got a box of coffee from Starbucks (holds about 10 cups), and I said mmmm I love Starbox coffe!

Went to starbucks to get coffee refill... Wanted the tribute blend, asked for the Katniss Everdeen blend.

I laughed