The new slogan is "With great power comes great rice possibilities."
Good to see they didn't passover the opportunity.
Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.
What has two butts and kills people? An assassin
Rey-Ben
I didn't come first, but I did win the constellation prize.
ABBA Zombie and Witch.
All we got for lunch was chips.
A new coding bootcamp, featuring international percussion ensembles, sponsored by former vice president and climate change activist behind An Inconvenient Truth.
"Al Gore Rhythm"
But only if it was a 401k
He calls it the master race.
I responded, "No, the bed is fine. I'm the one who is sick."
A word from our sponsors.
There was a lot of Dead heir on that show.
My grandfather, in his younger days, retired from his NASCAR dreams to do construction so he could raise a family. Fast forward 45 years to 1994. I was around 15. My grandfather, grandmother, her mother, and I were on the return trip from the Costco and liquor store just inside the no sales tax state of Oregon. My grandfather was, as usual, driving. He raced for Lincoln and they sponsored him so they gave him a really good lifetime discount. He drove a brand new Continental his entire life. He always raced down to Oregon as fast as he could and then tried beating his time while driving back. Suddenly, at about 140mph, a Pheasant committed suicide on the front end. We could see feathers occasionally come loose. Grandpa already had a couple minutes to make up. Needless to say, despite my grandma's insistance, stopping to investigate wasn't in the plans. When we got home, he was cussing an ill timed traffic light with a bored motorcycle cop parked on the sidewalk waiting for his target. My grandma and great grandma nearly died when, without batting an eye, grandpa pulled the Pheasant off the car, grabbed his Gerber knife, and stripped, cleaned, and threw the bird on the BBQ. I was in dying from laughter at this point. Grandma and my great grandma were dying from embarrassment. He offered them some and grandma angrily refused for the 3 of us, calling it road kill. Without skipping a beat, he calmly replied "This isn't road kill, it's Continental Wild Pheasant, Twice-Grilled."
Every time geese flew in a "V" shape over the house:
Grandpa- "Do you know why one side is longer than the other?"
Me- "No, why?"
Grandpa- "Because there's more geese on that side. Huehuehue!"
"Daddy," a little boy asked his father.
"How much does it cost to get married?"
"I don't know," replied the father, "I'm still paying for it."
(Joke sponsored by Al Tebehalah's Discount Lobotomies)
I was telling my Dad about a race I had done today and how the big gym that had sponsored the event had but on free bacon sandwiches for all the competitors.
He stopped me mid-sentence with
"That was kind of him - Big Jim"
