I went to a Ford dealership the other day looking for a specific model. The salesman told me they didnβt have what I was looking for and that I wasnβt allowed to leave.
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︎ Mar 09 2021
I work as a tattoo artist in a wellness center making very specific designs and everyone get really surprised when I tell them that I'm also a doctor...
Nobody expects the Spa Niche Ink Physician.
π︎ 38
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︎ Mar 01 2021
My wife doesn't share my view that insulting a specific water bird is a good idea.
I think we're going to have to agree to diss a grebe.
π︎ 24
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︎ Feb 22 2021
My father died and requested to be buried at a specific farm.
He always told us one day he'd be a dead beet Dad.
π︎ 8
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︎ Feb 22 2021
An answer in a listening test was "specific background material" and a classmate asked if it was ok to just write "background material"
The teacher said it had to be specific
π︎ 6
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︎ Nov 18 2020
do you know why Obi-wan Kenobi is called general kenobi and not specific kenobi?
because the sith only deal in absolutes
π︎ 5
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︎ Nov 30 2020
I told my son to go to the hardware store for 2 specific awls
"Go in there and get me 2 sorb awls"
π︎ 3
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︎ Dec 02 2020
TIL Older forms of English kept Latinβs gender-specific suffixes -tor and -trix; tor is for men and trix is for women. So a male pilot is an aviator, a female pilot is an aviatrix. A male fighter is a gladiator, a female fighter is a gladiatrix.
This contrasts with the modern system, where tor is for both men and women, and trix are for kids.
π︎ 49
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︎ Jun 02 2020
She shouldβve been more specific
π︎ 44
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︎ Jun 10 2020
I found a specific hobby of adding alliteration to German philosophersβ names
Glad I found my Nietzsche niche
π︎ 8
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︎ Jun 24 2020
My wife just informed me that βterrible twoβ refers to a kids in a specific developmental stage
And all this time thatβs how I always referred to my two kids at all times
π︎ 28
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︎ May 27 2020
My son is learning about proper nouns and he said that a proper noun is specific thing and a common noun isn't. He said an Ocean is a common noun and the Pacific is a proper noun.
I look him dead in the eye and say, "What a Pacific example you just gave"
π︎ 10
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︎ Apr 21 2020
You need a specific kind of humor
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms...
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Not Sally...
π︎ 26
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︎ Nov 22 2019
Very specific indeed...
π︎ 7
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︎ Nov 12 2019
I have been diagnosed with a very specific type of Amnesia.
It causes me to deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
There is no Cure!
π︎ 12
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︎ Dec 24 2019
Did you know back in midevil Russia they had a specific hole that they would throw their rulers in for being too facetious
It was called the tsar chasm
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 27 2019
$52.95 is an oddly specific amount of money...
But $52.94 is an evenly specific amount of money
π︎ 39
π
︎ Mar 16 2019
Mexican Coke is my favourite variety, especially because its from a specific area...
...guess that makes it a coke-lloquialism.
π︎ 2
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︎ Jul 29 2019
Hey dad. How big is the specific ocean?
I don't know son. Can you be more pacific?
π︎ 84
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︎ Jun 17 2017
My GPS is difficult to use whenever I try to look up specific coordinates.
π︎ 8
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︎ Jun 25 2019
Meanwhile in the specific ocean
π︎ 13
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︎ Sep 20 2018
The nurse called me and said, βUnder βmedical historyβ, we were hoping for something specific to you...β
You wrote down βFleming discovered penicillin in 1928.β
π︎ 20
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︎ Mar 14 2019
I wrote my strategy for dealing with a specific set of circumstances in a notebook, but my friend wrapped it in aluminium paper.
π︎ 9
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︎ Mar 03 2019
The tour group visiting the capital of Italy did not have a specific agenda...
π︎ 2
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︎ May 28 2019
My aim is to maybe be more specific one of these days.
π︎ 4
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︎ Feb 09 2019
If you're looking for a specific Red Herring, how do you know if you've got the right one?
π︎ 2
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︎ Mar 10 2019
I think I'm allergic to one specific type of nut
π︎ 9
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︎ Jul 19 2018
Certain animals seem to like certain styles of music and specific bands.
π︎ 5
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︎ May 28 2017
Have to Get Specific
Got my girlfriend with this one just now.
Me: Going into the kitchen to get something to drink, you want anything?
GF: Sure
Me: Anything Specific?
GF: No don't think so
Me: Anything Vague?
proceeds to laugh the whole way to the kitchen
π︎ 11
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︎ May 02 2016
I asked my dad what a specific country was on the globe
Me: (Pointing at country on globe) "Dad, what's this?"
Dad: (Grabs the globe, spins it around and breathes on it) "Global warming."
π︎ 19
π
︎ Aug 20 2013
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