I went to a Ford dealership the other day looking for a specific model. The salesman told me they didn’t have what I was looking for and that I wasn’t allowed to leave.

There was no Escape.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Evilmd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
I work as a tattoo artist in a wellness center making very specific designs and everyone get really surprised when I tell them that I'm also a doctor...

Nobody expects the Spa Niche Ink Physician.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DandyBeyond
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife doesn't share my view that insulting a specific water bird is a good idea.

I think we're going to have to agree to diss a grebe.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
My father died and requested to be buried at a specific farm.

He always told us one day he'd be a dead beet Dad.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dej0ta
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
An answer in a listening test was "specific background material" and a classmate asked if it was ok to just write "background material"

The teacher said it had to be specific

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fat_Bor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
do you know why Obi-wan Kenobi is called general kenobi and not specific kenobi?

because the sith only deal in absolutes

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/McCarty_Bedell
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my son to go to the hardware store for 2 specific awls

"Go in there and get me 2 sorb awls"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZombiesAmongUs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
TIL Older forms of English kept Latin’s gender-specific suffixes -tor and -trix; tor is for men and trix is for women. So a male pilot is an aviator, a female pilot is an aviatrix. A male fighter is a gladiator, a female fighter is a gladiatrix.

This contrasts with the modern system, where tor is for both men and women, and trix are for kids.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neffability
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
🚨︎ report
She should’ve been more specific
πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jacob_Young6138
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I found a specific hobby of adding alliteration to German philosophers’ names

Glad I found my Nietzsche niche

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Plumsby
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife just informed me that β€œterrible two” refers to a kids in a specific developmental stage

And all this time that’s how I always referred to my two kids at all times

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PLUMBUM2
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My son is learning about proper nouns and he said that a proper noun is specific thing and a common noun isn't. He said an Ocean is a common noun and the Pacific is a proper noun.

I look him dead in the eye and say, "What a Pacific example you just gave"

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProfessorOfLies
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
You need a specific kind of humor

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

She had no arms...

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Not Sally...

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bishan11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Very specific indeed...
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ici_cle
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I have been diagnosed with a very specific type of Amnesia.

It causes me to deny the existence of certain 80's bands.

There is no Cure!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know back in midevil Russia they had a specific hole that they would throw their rulers in for being too facetious

It was called the tsar chasm

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TalontedJay
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
$52.95 is an oddly specific amount of money...

But $52.94 is an evenly specific amount of money

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThoseMovieGuys
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Mexican Coke is my favourite variety, especially because its from a specific area...

...guess that makes it a coke-lloquialism.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/symmetrygear
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Hey dad. How big is the specific ocean?

I don't know son. Can you be more pacific?

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MattTheGamer20
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2017
🚨︎ report
My GPS is difficult to use whenever I try to look up specific coordinates.

It has a bad latitude.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Meanwhile in the specific ocean
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/enonimosu
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
🚨︎ report
The nurse called me and said, β€œUnder β€˜medical history’, we were hoping for something specific to you...”

You wrote down β€œFleming discovered penicillin in 1928.”

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I wrote my strategy for dealing with a specific set of circumstances in a notebook, but my friend wrapped it in aluminium paper.

He foiled my plan.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
🚨︎ report
The tour group visiting the capital of Italy did not have a specific agenda...

So the could roam Rome!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
🚨︎ report
My aim is to maybe be more specific one of these days.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report
If you're looking for a specific Red Herring, how do you know if you've got the right one?
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smallnorth
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I think I'm allergic to one specific type of nut

Cashew!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stubob
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Certain animals seem to like certain styles of music and specific bands.

Termites like Styx.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RichNCrispy
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2017
🚨︎ report
Have to Get Specific

Got my girlfriend with this one just now.

Me: Going into the kitchen to get something to drink, you want anything?

GF: Sure

Me: Anything Specific?

GF: No don't think so

Me: Anything Vague?

proceeds to laugh the whole way to the kitchen

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TeHeTyler
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2016
🚨︎ report
I asked my dad what a specific country was on the globe

Me: (Pointing at country on globe) "Dad, what's this?"

Dad: (Grabs the globe, spins it around and breathes on it) "Global warming."

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Roylee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2013
🚨︎ report

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