He is a real Ace of Spades
Heartless
A ground-breaking discovery
An Ambulance, immediately!
I might have to deal with him later.
I might have to deal with him later.
The King of Spade.
The shovel was truly groundbreaking!
It was a cereal killer.
When she arrived at the zoo she went to see her manager and asked what she should do, the manager told her to first go feed the sharks, so she went off to feed them. Whilst she was shovelling the food into the pool a shark jumped out of the water and tried to bite her, as a reflex she hit the shark with the spade and the shark died. Worried about losing her job this soon the woman started brainstorming what to do, eventually she decided to feed the dead shark to the lions thereby removing all evidence and so that is what she did. Shaken but glad she had avoided detection the women went back to see her manager and asked if there was anything else that needed doing, she was told to go and clean out the monkey cage.. So off the woman went with a wheelbarrow and shovel to clean out the cage, as she was shovelling the poop into the barrow a monkey jumped down from the tree towards her! As a reflex reaction the women smashed the monkey with the spade and it lay dead. Thankfully she knew just what to do and so she threw the monkey into the lion cage. Shaken and ready to go home by now, the women went to see if there were any final jobs that needed doing: she was tasked with collecting the honey from the bees. So she got changed into her protective gear however she forgot to tuck in the back of her shirt so when it came to doing the bees, one particularly large bee came and stung her right on the behind! The woman screamed and started whacking the bees until many lay dead. By now she didn’t even have to think.. she collected the dead bees and threw them in the lion cage before going home for a quiet evening.
The next day there was a new lion in the lion cage. The new lion said to the other lions “so what’s the food like here??” The other lions responded...
“Actually it’s quite good. Yesterday we had FISH, CHIMPS and MUSHY BEES!”
Start a Club
Win their hearts
Give them tools and Spades
Pay them with diamonds
The one without the ovaries.
At first, you have two Hearts and a Diamond, but at the end, you'll want a Club and a Spade.
It starts with Hearts and Diamonds and ends with a Club and a Spade
Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond...
By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.
An Ace of Spades.
It was ground-breaking
Mom: Why don't you use the trowel?
Me: Let's just call a spade a spade.
Mat!
my father loves these jokes back in the day. whos familiar with them all?
Ace of Spades by Motorhead
But when I swap for aces of spades, I'm trading Spaces
because they are flush with spades
A Jack of all Spades, Master of Puns.
I was at my friend's poker night and we were playing texas hold 'em. On one of the hands the flop was a 3 of spades, a 7 of clubs, and a 2 of hearts.
Nobody really had anything so far and the hand went:
Friend 1 (small blind): "Check"
Friend 2 (big blind): "Check"
Friend 3: "Check"
Friend 4: "Check"
Friend 5: "Check"
Friend 6: "Check"
Me (dealer): We must be in the Czech Republic
My sister, my dad, and I were waiting for our table at a restaurant. Dad sees my sister with her new Kate Spade purse.
Dad: "Why did you take that Kate girl's purse? It even has her name on it!"
An ambulance.
Doug
All you need to start of is two hearts and a diamond but come the end you'll wish you had a club and a spade.
