Why did the soup kitchen serve stationeries?

Staple food.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/majulahsotongs
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2022
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I lost my job at the salvation army soup kitchen last night.

All I said was hurry up some of us have homes to go to...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HazyDayZ420
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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Where does the food go at the all male soup kitchen?

Indigents

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
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I didn’t know what to think walking into the kitchen last night to find my wife draped in lasagna and pouring piping hot soup over her head. β€œI’m just putting the dinner on”, she quipped. How we laughed on the way to the burns unit.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spazpekker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
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If Van Halen opened up a soup kitchen...

It should be named David Lee Broth

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dufosho
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2018
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If you're wondering what to donate to a soup kitchen...

...a dining set would be chair-i-table.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Risla_Amahendir
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2015
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I've started investing in stocks... First, beef, then chicken, now vegetable. I now it's risky, but one day it'll pay off....

And I'll be a bullionaire

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2021
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My dad= His own biggest fan

My dad saw me about to make some chicken noodle soup. Knowing I wasn't feeling well he offered to make it for me instead. I accepted his offer and sat down on the couch. Once it was done, my dad hands me a bowl of the hot soup and extends a spoon towards me. I look at the spoon but notice as I'm about to grab it, it's one of those strainer spoons, the big ones with the holes in it. I give him a dumbfounded look, and he proceeds to bust out laughing as he takes a normal spoon out from behind his back, hands it to me, and walks back to the kitchen chuckling to himself the whole way. Gotta love that guy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SourGrape_Snape
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2013
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My toddler is really into The Sound of Music, so he and my husband have been humming "Edelweiss" all day.

Now they are in the kitchen making dinner. My husband pulls a box of Uncle Ben's out of the pantry and then grabs a soup ladle off the counter and is now dancing around singing,

laaadle riiiiiiice ladle rice

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuurAlaOrolo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2016
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Dad is microwaving soup...

I walk down to the kitchen while my dad is microwaving some soup for lunch.

He says to me "This soup is heavy." I say "What?" "My soup, it's heavy!" "Why?" I said "It's Wonton soup."

And then I put my head in my hands as I walk away while he laughs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/godofcake
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2015
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My dad has supersonic hearing when it comes to opportunities to dadjoke someone...

My mother and sister were in the kitchen talking about the menu of a local restaurant.

Mom: "I wonder what kind of soup I should get..."

Sister: "I heard their bean soup was pretty good..."

My father was in another part of the house and, as if he was overcome by a spidey-sense like tingling for a dadjoke opportunity, came running down the stairs into the kitchen and said:

Dad: "I don't care what it's 'been' what is it now!"

They groaned while he and I chuckled.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KeithSkud
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2014
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I think my friend secretly wants to be a dad.

I was volunteering at a soup kitchen with a friend of mine when she randomly started asking about the zoo being open.

Me: I think they're open, they usually always are.
Her: I've really been wanting to visit, do you want to go?
Me: Today?
Her: No to the zoo.

She then proceeded to laugh for five minutes straight.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PacoDuh
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2013
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