A structurally sound pun
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spacecadet6966
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
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Classic sound pun
πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mdkdoc15
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
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If pronouncing my b's as v's makes me sound Russian,

Then soviet.

πŸ‘︎ 215
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dankcompany69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?

A shoe..

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoldenBalls7
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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I once met a woman who had 12 breasts. Sounds weird..

..Dozen tit?

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedLMR56
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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Downloaded film Titanic for the family to watch this evening. Annoyingly Video and Sound has come across in separate files.

It's syncing right now.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iseb3881
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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What is orange and sounds like a parrot?

Carrot

πŸ‘︎ 163
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tvz32
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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What's orange and sounds like a Parrot? (courtesy of a 9 year old)

A carrot.

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notlikelyevil
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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What sound does a tortilla chip make when sneezing?

nACHOO!

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/larsmeimei
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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I have a Russian friend who’s also a sound technician

And a Czech one too. And a Czech one too

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jo3p-
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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What sound did the piano make when it was thrown off the barracks roof?

A flat major.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shu-di
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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Guys, I have been thinking about selling my Theremin.

I haven't touched it in years.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTaminus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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This might sound a little racist...

...but I hate the 100 meter dash.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryGeneric
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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Just spent $300 on hiring a limousine and discovered the fee doesn't include a driver.

Can't believe I've spent all that money and have nothing to chauffer it.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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Should've becareful of your speech
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DefNotInTheOven
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
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My favorite part of the morning is the sound of pouring coffee into my metal thermos

It’s the little tings in life, ya know?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cold_Shogun
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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Damn!
πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shampoo_and_dick
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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My sister has been reading game of thrones and she really liked the line "the sound of steel on steel"

So she decided to steel it

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bean_burrito14
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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What do you call two farts that sound alike?

Tutankhamun

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jamesstylez83
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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What sound does a fast witch make?

Broom broom!

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ashjmc89
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, β€œWhat happened before The Big Bang?”

He said, β€œSorry. There is no Time.”

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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Did you know that auditoriums are designed to have sound bounce around to the audience?

This doesn’t happen with pigeons, though. This is because a coo sticks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaxerfp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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The Mysterious Sound

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night? The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a very strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, We can't tell you. You're not a monk.

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, The same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks again accept him, feed him, and again fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, We can't tell you. You're not a monk.

The man says, All right, all right. I'm dying to know.

If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?

The monks reply, You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles, when you find these numbers, you will become a monk. The man sets about his task. Some 54 years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery.

He says, I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.

The monks reply, Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.

The monks lead the man to a wooden door where the head monk says, The sound is right behind that door. The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked.

He says, Real funny. May I have the key? The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone.

The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it.

Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire, And so it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst.

Finally, the monks say, This is the last key to the last door.

The man is relieved to know that he has finally reached to the end.

He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound.

But he can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gasballbutsmol
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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My favorite sound is the smoke detector...

β€˜cause that’s how I know supper is almost ready.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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The sound from a musician on stage bounces off an auditoriums walls to surround the audience, however

The sound from a pigeon does not, because a coo sticks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/heightsenberg
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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last gift on birthday
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sabrinna_22
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
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I wonder how this music would sound?
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dvarka124
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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What sound does it make when an ogre eats a witch for breakfast?

Snap cackle n' pop

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ashjmc89
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.

It was a brief case.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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I can't believe chickens haven't come up with a new sound yet

Maybe they should start thinking outside the bawks

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Da_Brootalz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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My friend claims the he accidentally glued himself to his autobiography, but I don’t believe him.

But that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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What sound does an upside down cow make?

Wooooooo!

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trainspottedCSX7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth

Now when I talk I have a weird axe scent

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sweet_nut_nectar
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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Today is National Sound Check Day

1 2 / 1 2

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisisnotnorman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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The inventor of the Velcro has died.

RIP.

πŸ‘︎ 792
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.

Poor bastard.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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I made a joke about the song Staying Alive and how it sounds like women singing. Apparently many of you didn’t like it.

Hereby my sincere apolobeegies!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pleasethelions
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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What’s brown and sounds like a bell?

Dunnnnggggg

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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I once met a girl with 12 breasts. It sounds strange...

Dozen tit?

πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/devdevo1919
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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If pronouncing all my "V"s like "B"s, makes me sound Russian...

Then Soviet

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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If pronouncing my 'b's' as 'v's' makes me sound Russian....

....then Soviet.

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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What i orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GobAteMyHamster
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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What sound does a witch's car make?

Broom broom.

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mechanicfantic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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What is made of leather, a foot long and sounds like a sneeze?

A shoe.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HydrosFear
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlintTheDad
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze ?

A Shoe.

πŸ‘︎ 111
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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What's orange and sounds like a parrot ?

A carrot.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrjaxson1111
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot...

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whitoreo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report

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