I bought a record at the charity shop the other day, "Sounds That Wasps Make". I took it home and it sounded nothing like Wasps.
That's when I realised I was playing the Bee side.
This sounded punny in my head.
So I was thinking...
This is a coat hanger:
https://preview.redd.it/s5njbr4y05z41.jpg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6030cd17759f66dc358567becc1d4a0b07e0e260
Technically, isn't this also a coat hangar:
https://preview.redd.it/yayo0qhz05z41.jpg?width=290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d5e400ba116c6179153c3c93618094c9c1ffd89c
Which would make this a hanger hangar:
https://preview.redd.it/o9sl37b015z41.jpg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2796f454c9ebfe2577066cf30da799affa959d4f
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
That's why it sounded ruff.
My son asked why the pony sounded so weird
I told him it was a little hoarse
This sounded better in my head but it's still pretty good. :)
I once married a woman that sounded like a cut of meat...
I always thought that Two Factor, as in two factor authentication, sounded like a Rapper's handle.
I wonder if he's a fan of his predecessor, TwoFac Secure?
The alarm is sounded at the batcave. Batman runs to the batmobile but it won't turn on. He tells robin to grab a new battery.
Robin says: What's a tery?
The crows all sounded like they sensed trouble
Sounded like something my dad would say
I hate the word "xenophobia", it sounds so...
If you play guitar and want to know the secret to making it sound better...
What sound does a tree make?
What sound is made when a piano is dropped on a person?
My dog was sitting on top of some sound equipment
I tried to come up with a pun about carpentry, but it’s harder than it sounds.
Almost nothing wood work.
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
What sound does Marie Kondo's pet frog make?
"Rid-v-it . . . Rid-v-it."
LPT: Never tell a sound technician how they are doing their job.
What do clumsy beatboxers sound like?
Oops oops oops oops oops oops oops oops
Dad: "You were ado...."
Daughter: "I was adopted?"
Dad: "You were adorable as a baby!"
Daughter: "Oh!!"
Dad: "That's why we adopted you. "
When registering for college classes, pick ones taught by heterosexual Canadians whenever possible.
They always give straight "eh"s.
Did you hear about the french general who stepped on a landmine?
What's another word for strange sounds?
I have a Polish friend who's a sound technician.
And a Czech one too. And a Czech one too.
What sound does an aircraft make when it hits the ground?
I bought an owl that produces pasta from its mouth when it makes a sound.
I got it at a carb hoot sale.
What sound does a witches car make?
I was looking for the sound track to Mortal Kombat
but all I could find was a bunch of Finnish Hymns.
I got an vinyl album of wasp sounds the other day. Played it, didn’t sound anything like wasps!
Then I realised I was playing the bee side.
The sound from a musician on stage bounces off the auditorium walls to surround the audience
The sound from a pigeon on stage does not do this because of a coo sticks.
So we all know that you find H2O inside a fire hydrant, but what do you find on the outside of a fire hydrant?
What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
I've started a boat building business in my attic...
...sails are going through the roof.
Initially I didn’t believe that my chiropractor was any good.
But now I stand corrected.
I got banned from /r/DadJokes for posting, "Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms!"
Mods said I'm a cereal reposter...
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
You might think being injected with antivirus sounds boring
But it's really quite vaccinating
originally posted on r/tumblr by u/MaetelofLaMetal
What sound do you make when you swept the floor too fast?
I caught my son chewing on an electrical cord...
so I had to ground him.
He's doing better currently.
And conducting himself properly.
Wife (madly tapping at phone): my sound is not working
Me (a seasoned dad): I can hear you just fine
Where did the music notes go to get some fried chicken?
I found an old vinyl record of insect sounds.
I put it on, expecting relaxing ambient sounds like cicadas and such, but all I got was a droning buzz. That's when I realized that I was playing the bee side.
If pronouncing all my "V"s like "B"s, makes me sound Russian...
Not a joke for written context, but one you can use on your family.
You just say to your family member - "Did you hear someone in the family is part owl?"
They'll reply with "who?" And you look at them with a raised eyebrow.
Tell this joke over dinner if youd like to be the life of the party. You're welcome.
I once met a woman who had 12 breasts. Sounds weird..
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
Whats Orange and sounds like a parrot?
Whats orange and sounds like a parrot?
I got an vinyl album of wasp sounds the other day. Played it, didn’t sound anything like wasps!
Then I realised I was playing the bee side.
If pronouncing my b's as v's makes me sound Russian,
I used to have a Russian friend who was a sound technician
And a Czech one too. A Czech one too
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
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