What did the socially distanced yoga instructor say to her students

Nama stay six feet apart from people

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chartman21
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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My son is very good at social distancing.

He won't even call me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wimpykidfan37
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2021
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I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing.

This is as close as I could get.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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Social distancing has led to Hooters offering delivery to your door.

They’re changing their name to Knockers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/phishstepper
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
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Social Distancing Pickup Lines
  • If Covid-19 doesn't take you out, can I?
  • Is that hand sanitizer in your pocket are you happy to be within 6 ft of me?
  • Can't spell virus without U and I.
  • Do you need toilet paper cuz I can be your Prince Charmin.
  • I saw you checking me out from across the bar, stay there.
  • Hey Baby! Can I ship you a drink?
  • Can't spell quarantine without U R A Q T.

credit: some facebook post i saw.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shamblingman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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I don't need to practice social distancing.

Because I am already realy good at it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/benisfast
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2021
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Social distancing doesn’t work

No matter how far apart two people are, there’s only four feet between them!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/G3ner3x
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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How to they enforce social distancing at the zoo?

With a measuring tapir

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_GooseUW_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2021
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I don't get how it's possible to reduce the social distancing requirement from six feet to three feet.

In almost all cases its impossible to have three feet between 2 people.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bay-to-the-apple
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
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Social distancing is just a step in the right direction.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Swanlafitte
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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What happens when people refuse to social distance?

It all ends in tiers...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ForOneDayOnly
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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Given social distancing regulations, a ton of condiment companies are being forced to cancel July 4th campaigns like sponsored concerts, where they planned to hand out signature color sunglasses to attendees.

Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeusJZ
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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Due to social distancing, everyone is asking Kim Jung Un how far six feet is Exactly!

Because he is the supreme ruler.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jonnyprophet
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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My dad is a social distancing champ !

I haven't seen him since 2005

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
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A Police officer called Roxanne told me how to social distance,

She said "don't stand, don't stand so close to me"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kishenoy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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There is a lot of concern amongst the flat earth brigade with regards social distancing.

They’re worried it’s going to push people over the edge......

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrP8978
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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What do you call sick highschoolers who practice social distancing?

QuaranTeens.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LaMusicista
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
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Did you know Bennie and The Jets were the first group to social distance ?

They were so spaced-out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/borg6510
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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Why are hippies good at social distancing?

Because they are used to being spaced out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mstrfstr
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
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I am learning to cope with social distancing.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MadCrow024
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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Due to social distancing, I had a conversation with a spider today,

Seems nice, he’s a web designer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/klatkasalowa5
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
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When it comes to shops that don't have social distancing lines

I don't know where I stand.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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You know what I'm using to help maintain social distancing?

My personality.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
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I heard Mike Bloomberg isn't actually social distancing...

He says he stays at 6 feet, but we all know he stands at 5'8".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRoadJackHit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
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I feel like I've regressed to an earlier age because of all the social distancing.

I'm now a quaranteen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobskimo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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Everyone keeps telling me to practice social distancing,

but when am I supposed to stop practicing and actually do it?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cramer-klontz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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Right now everyone in Cleveland is taking social distancing very seriously. Even the walkway around the lake is empty

It's Erie

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
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Experts warn that all this social distancing is causing a lot of stress, anxiety, and depression.

The Flat Earth Society is especially worried. They think their members might be driven over the edge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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Army soldiers can't comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement.

But everyone in the Navy can fathom it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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I just learned that now we have to social-distance at the beach and mark a 6-foot perimeter!

Well, I'm drawing a line in the sand.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TMCBarnes
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
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Ever since this social distancing thing started

Everyone's been so spaced out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jamrod0
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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WARNING- If you dont social distance yourself now, you will

vent later

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyjarvis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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What cheese is best at social distancing?

Provalone

(not really original...just adapted to current times)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HumboltQuadrant
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
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I will not be practicing social distancing..

I am much safer with my usual anti social distancing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jgpitre
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
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As we continue to deal with the mask wearing, social distancing and uncertainty through the coming weeks, we can’t lose sight of how important it is to continue taking these precautions.

As much as it sucks, it’s better to be safe than SARS-y

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hashsmasher
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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Stay inside, practise social distancing and keep clean...

Meow meow meow, we are becoming cats 🐈

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
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I don't practice "social distancing."

After 30 years of social anxiety and a deep disgust of humanity in general, I operate on an "expert" level.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
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Does anyone know if Santa has been vaccinated?

I’m trying to decide whether or not to open the chimney cover tonight.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/benweatherhead
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2021
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This Covid situation must be really stressful for the flat earthers.

Social distancing will really push them over the edge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/casimir1978
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2021
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Survival of the Fittest

How is it that cavemen survived the asteroid but the dinosaurs didn’t?

Social Distancing. They stayed 65 million years apart.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1st10Amendments
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2021
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Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed

Everybody.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing...

But this is as close as I could get.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gaaraloveless
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing

But this is as close as I could get

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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I tried very hard to come up with a joke about social distancing.

But this is as close as I could get.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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I tried my best to come up with a joke about social distancing.

But this is as close as I could get.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing.

This is as close as I could get.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deedubya8
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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Social Distancing.

Day 5 of social distancing:

I struck up a conversation with a spider today! He was nice, his name is Dave, and he’s a web designer!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ging_e_R
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
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I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing.

But this is as close as I can get.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stubbly_bubbly
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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