Her: "You're a pretty strong swimmer"
Me: "Yeah but I never learned butterfly stroke"
Her: "Butterfly? You just...wing it"
We both looked at each other and snickered like children.
Title Edit: "My wife and I were talking"*
My mate hates it when I put his chocolate bars into different wrappers...
It's gets his Snickers in a Twix
They always Snicker at me
You could say she was a giggal
But every time I try, a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers
A snicker-doodle
Kid: WOW are you a magician?
Me: no, but I have a couple of twix up my sleeve
It will change the breed of your dog into a snicker-doodle.
She said she would not tolerate such nun scents.
Got some snickers.
I saw a bunch of ants swarming around a Snickers bar on the ground. I thought to myself "What a coincidence, I just ate a Snickers too!"
When its suffering from poor mantle health.
... but Mars Bars and Milky Way are out of this world!
(Not a great joke, but I've found its good for a few Snickers)
"So I guess you could say I have a few Twix up my sleeve!"
It wasn't very good thought, so I just Snickered
Someone had their Snickers in a Twix.
Better not get your Snickers in a Twix
her/she
Snickers.
After pondering I commented, "nope, I'm HORNERY!"
I gently told him "No" at least 6 times, and finally we were at the register. My wife was checking us out, and he asks again.
Me: "Son, if you ask for one more piece of candy, I'm going to go back in time and take away the candy you had yesterday."
He stopped asking.
My oldest son looks at me defiantly and says, "Okay, do it to me!"
{ thinks for a second }
Me: "Fine. Do you remember that Snickers bar you had yesterday?"
Oldest looks confused and says, "What?? I didn't have a Snickers bar yesterday!"
Me: "Exactly."
I pat him on the back as he processes, and we exit the store.
No I think snickers is much better.
https://imgur.com/052xQtY
Oreo could just admit defeat.
Because he was addicted to snickers.
He snickers.
Daughter #2: Dad you know why we shouldn't buy milk from that cow?
Me: "No sweetheart why"?
Daughter #2: "With a snicker". "Because it's spoiled"!
My wife: "Groan".
Daughter #3: "Mooooooooo".
Edit: Quotes as requested.
"Hey Venus, you see that planet over there?" - Earth "Yeah, what about it?" - Venus "Do you think he likes to watch the sun rise and set like us? He's so far away..." - Earth "Well Maybe he needs to Neptune in with the rest of us." - Venus "Did you just make a planet pun...?" - Earth "Don't Saturn this around on me, I'm hot and flustered all the time" - Venus "I guess you could say your Mercury's rising...snickers" - Jupiter
"GOD DAMNIT" - Earth
Neigh, he snickers whinny hears something filly.
European
It was suggested by his assistant that I keep my thoughts focused on my "happy place". I said, "No problem, I practice transcen-dental meditation" Not even a snicker from the two of them.
Points to ceiling fan "This is my biggest fan."
Father in law: Have you ever seen pine nuts?
Me: Yah why?
FIL: How did you get it to spread it's legs(snickers)
Me: Log splitter (drinks beer)
Tonight he really got his Snickers in a Twix
He got his snickers in a twix.
...a chocolate bar looks at me and Snickers.
