Punstoppable

Slowness Puns

A list of puns related to "Slowness"

Very slow day/boring. So I'll post an oldie just because.

Why is 6 afraid of 7?...because 7-8-9.

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👤︎ u/Mastiff_Speed
📅︎ Jan 06 2021
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Kind of a slow movie.
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👤︎ u/RHamm7
📅︎ Nov 23 2020
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What's the difference between Gordon Ramsay's favorite dish and a slow-running computer?

One is a rack of lamb, the other is a lack of RAM.

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👤︎ u/icemage27
📅︎ Oct 05 2020
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There was once a tyrannosaurus who was a little slow..

They called him tywalkosaurus

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👤︎ u/TheChoosed_One
📅︎ Nov 05 2020
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Slow Internet connection in an Indian Restaurant?

Serves you right for using Dhaal-up!

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👤︎ u/Stoatwobbler
📅︎ Nov 08 2020
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I hate watching YouTube on my old monitor. It's all laggy and slow, it just...

It just hertz a little.

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👤︎ u/FaBreece_742
📅︎ Oct 21 2020
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Guy gets pulled over for running a stop sign. He says to the cop “give me a break man, I slowed down.” The cop starts beating on the guy and says...

“So... do you want me to slow down or do you want me to stop?”

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👤︎ u/CaymanRich
📅︎ Sep 19 2020
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I really struggled with 2020 all year. Sadly, at the end of it...

2021

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👤︎ u/Gameronomist
📅︎ Dec 31 2020
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From my 8yr old: what do you say to a slow pig butcher?

Chop chop slow pork

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👤︎ u/Aschtopher
📅︎ Oct 08 2020
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*Starts slow handclap*
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👤︎ u/SimonCaine
📅︎ Aug 25 2020
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Organs
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👤︎ u/spinnaker190
📅︎ Oct 21 2020
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I can stop
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👤︎ u/Kelly240361
📅︎ Sep 15 2020
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Why did I stop eating German sausages?

They are are the würst

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👤︎ u/MaybeNotYourDad
📅︎ Dec 04 2020
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How do toads open presents?

They ribbit.

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👤︎ u/Yurgenbeard
📅︎ Dec 19 2020
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Draw Bridge
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👤︎ u/TTMOfficial
📅︎ Oct 14 2020
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What would a car without any gas be called in Madagascar?

Outtagascar

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👤︎ u/Accomplished_Yam_989
📅︎ Nov 19 2020
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How am I supposed to find the Big Apple?

I don’t even know where the Minneapolis!

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👤︎ u/lacazadora66
📅︎ Nov 08 2020
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The response time was very slow
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👤︎ u/PhoenixofRevenge
📅︎ May 01 2020
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A friend of mine cut his finger off at work...

I suppose he'll be getting severance pay.

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👤︎ u/shdchko
📅︎ Nov 12 2020
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I'm writing about all the things I should do before I die

It's my oughtobiography

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👤︎ u/a-nony-mouse33
📅︎ Nov 24 2020
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The worst pub I’ve ever been in was called The Fiddle.

It was a vile inn.

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👤︎ u/the_houser
📅︎ Nov 15 2020
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I came out to my Car this morning, and it was completely covered in fallen leaves..

..you could call it an Autumnobile now !

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👤︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
📅︎ Oct 01 2020
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My computer crashed....

Need all the other computers in the house have slowed down so they can see what happened.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Jan 03 2021
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What will a chinese grill use when a wok is too slow

A wun

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👤︎ u/dred_not
📅︎ May 22 2020
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Simba was moving too slow so..

I told him to Mufasa

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👤︎ u/We_r_Ven0m
📅︎ Mar 25 2020
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Dad to Son: "Have you heard about the new online game that's just been released that's heaps popular and getting a lot of press?

Son: "What's it called?"

Dad: "Month."

Son: "Huh?"

Dad: "Apparently it's twice as good as Fortnite".

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👤︎ u/Sando75
📅︎ Sep 28 2020
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How do you keep a slow person in suspense?
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👤︎ u/kickypie
📅︎ Nov 21 2019
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What is the coolest lake in the world?

Lake Chad...

slow motion sunglasses in front of explosion.gif

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👤︎ u/Dantr1x
📅︎ Jan 02 2021
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That is why my internet is so slow. Everyone’s online
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👤︎ u/ajmansell
📅︎ Apr 17 2019
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How do you turn a friar into a high priest?

You give him a blunt.

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👤︎ u/icemage27
📅︎ Nov 15 2020
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Just make sure to go slow
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👤︎ u/lostcoastline44
📅︎ Sep 13 2019
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I thought I'd try my hand at snail racing.

My thinking was that if I take their shells off, that they'd be lighter and quicker.

All it did was make them a bit sluggish.

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👤︎ u/CMDR-Hooker
📅︎ Aug 12 2020
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What do you call a turtle in a chef’s hat?

A slow cooker.

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👤︎ u/EpisodicDoleWhip
📅︎ Nov 29 2020
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What do you get when you mix a tortoise with a porcupine?

A slow poke

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👤︎ u/browsingwhileishit
📅︎ Dec 16 2020
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What do you say to a slow tomato?

Ketch up

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👤︎ u/bigsmoke3131
📅︎ Apr 02 2020
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What did the rope say to the suicide enthusiast when he was working too slow ?

knot today my friend

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👤︎ u/Fakipo2
📅︎ Mar 18 2020
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

Because it takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

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👤︎ u/RayInRed
📅︎ Mar 09 2020
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What do you call a slow bullet ?

A slug

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👤︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
📅︎ Feb 18 2020
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Captain Marvel got snapped by Thanos.

She was played by Debris Larson.

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👤︎ u/Negative_Integer
📅︎ Oct 25 2020
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My slow cooker
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👤︎ u/inDgenious
📅︎ Feb 03 2019
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Did you hear how Thor saved Loki’s butt?

With an Asgard.

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👤︎ u/suamigojose
📅︎ Sep 04 2020
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I'm sorry, but I'm extremely proud of this one, and nobody in the chat found it funny =(
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👤︎ u/ennis88
📅︎ Jan 14 2020
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Snail car

One day a snail went to a car dealership, he said to the dealer. I want a custom car, a car that’s very fast and had a big s on the side. The dealer said ok and the snail paid. 3 weeks later the snail got a call that his car was ready. When the snail went back to the dealership for his car and the dealer asked him why he snail wanted a big s on the side, and the snail said “I’ve been very slow all my life, so when I’m going down the freeway at high speeds, I want people to look over and say look at that escargot”

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👤︎ u/Neg12DollaBill
📅︎ Dec 01 2020
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