There I was this morning, sitting and drinking Coffee in my slippers , and I thought to myself..

..I really need to clean a few mugs around here.

πŸ‘︎ 163
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife went to get a pedicure with her mother. She sent me a text saying that they have an exfoliating, foot scrub that has CBD/Hemp oil in it and she was going to try it out...I replied β€œbaby, do you realize that you left the house with slippers on...

But you are coming back with high heels”. Her mom sent me a text asking me what I said that made my wife throw her phone in to her lap and groan aloud. Mission accomplished haha

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirTurkTurkelton
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do elephants wear red slippers?

To hide in strawberry patches.

What, don't get it? Come on, have YOU ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch?

No?

Then I guess those slippers are doing a pretty good job, huh?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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I walked into the kitchen this morning and I saw my wife was cooking breakfast in her slippers again.

I thought to myself "I really should buy her a fry pan "

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Got my dad loafers (bread slippers) for his birthday.
πŸ‘︎ 89
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πŸ‘€︎ u/herr0kitty
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers this morning, when I thought to myself…

I really need to wash out the mugs...

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Should slippers with rubber soles be called antislippers?
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hooterscadoo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
It's my wife's birthday and I bought her slippers and a dildo.

If she doesn't like the slippers, she can go fuck herself.

πŸ‘︎ 156
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πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Her: have you seen my other slipper?

Me: No, it must've slipped away

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nbarlam
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the bear wear slippers?

To cover his bear feet

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Big-Baby-Ja
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2018
🚨︎ report
I almost managed to recruit money for my slippers factory...

...but the investors got cold feet

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
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My dad always used to tell me to wear shoes when using the lawn mower. I would always end up wearing slippers.

He would say "Don't come running to me if you get your legs cut off!".

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2016
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Is this a slipper, daddy?

"Yep, sure is son."

"Oops I dropped it. Too slippery."

He's two and already a dad. I'm so proud.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arguably_pizza
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2016
🚨︎ report
'Honey, they have those fuzzy slippers I like! Two for $5!'

"Well that's nice they give you both of them."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rjgreen85
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2016
🚨︎ report
We went to Black Bear Diner for brunch and my oldest saw some slippers that look like bear paws

He asked if he could get them and said "I've always wanted bear feet." "Fine," I said, "take off you shoes." He did, smiling. Next, I told him "take off your socks." He excitedly eyed the slippers as he pulled off his socks. When he finished, I said "there, now you have bare feet." My wife just sighed and shook her head.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/confibulator
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2016
🚨︎ report
What did the slipper say to the bar of dove soap?

"I'm fairly sure I'm slipperier than you."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mellow_gecko
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2014
🚨︎ report
What's slippery when wet?

A wet slipper.

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Whats a foot long and slippery?

A slipper.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a shoe made of a banana?

A slipper

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/abdic8
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Whats pink and slippery

Pink slippers

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrDarragoon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend was confused when he saw me walking around with bananas on my feet.

I told him they were my slippers.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call two bananas on the floor?

A pair of slippers.

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Shoe puns

What kind of shoes does a Ninja wear? -Sneakers

What shoes does a skater wear? -slippers

What shoes does a Lumberjack wear? -Timberlands

What shoes does a doctor wear? -Sholl’s

What shoes does a priest wear? -don’t know but I’m sure it’s got a Sole

I’ll see myself out

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DBelariean
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What items would you include in an amputation themed gift basket?

I know this isn't strictly a Dad joke, but I feel it is in the spirit of the thing. My dad is getting is getting his leg amputated in January. Essentially he has no cartilage in his ankle, and it causes him severe pain all the time. He has an amazing sense of humor, so I wanted to get him a gift basket of foot-based things. So far I have: -fruit by the foot -Happy Feet -Footloose -an Ihop gift card -pack of tube socks (since now he gets 2 for 1) -Bologna (because his amputation is below knee) -a card saying congrats on the weight loss -all put inside of a stocking

What other foot based pun items would you include in the gift basket?

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pyroperformer93
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of footwear is the hardest to walk in?

Slippers.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatpieceofbread
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
🚨︎ report
If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana make?

Slippers.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nerdgasm12
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call shoes made from bananas?

Slippers

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlopScratch
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse...
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orion726
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pair of banana peels on the floor?

Slippers!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
🚨︎ report
What kind of shoes do bananas make?

Slippers

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Loken89
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Puns for Kids

The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.

Puns for Kids

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!


What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!


Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.


What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!


Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.


The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.


How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.


What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!


No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.


Why did the turkey cross the road? To

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
🚨︎ report
Dessert Puns

I saw a white, fluffy thing swinging through my local cake shop. Suspect it was a meringue-utang.


I was out driving the other day and I spotted two packets of cheese & onion crisps walking down the road. I said, β€œDo you want a lift”. β€œNo thanks”, they replied, β€œWe’re Walkers”.


I was in a cake shop the other day, they were all Β£5 apart from one that was Β£10. I asked why it was so expensive, the shop owner said β€œthat’s maderia cake”.


Bought some cream, it said β€œstore in a cool place”. So I left it in the Doctor Who studios.


Local ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.


I used to love doughnuts, but I got bored of the whole thing.


A man says β€œI keep finding custard in one ear, and jelly in the other”. The doctor says β€œI’m afraid you are a trifle deaf”.


I bought a waffle iron the other day. Get really annoyed with wrinkled wa

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2017
🚨︎ report
New dad, wife is now mad at me.

We just had our first child Saturday evening. On Sunday, she fussed at me about making her laugh (because it hurt), so I agreed to limit myself to dad jokes. She was okay with this. She then asked for her slippers. As I'm putting them on her, I say "I'm not sure why they call them slippers, that's the last thing I'd want to do." Now I'm not allowed to tell dad jokes either.

πŸ‘︎ 155
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πŸ‘€︎ u/z6joker9
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2014
🚨︎ report
Laid this one on my girlfriend.

Her: Hey do you have any slippers I can borrow? Me: No, I only have slip-hims.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HardcoreHamburger
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2013
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the snake wear shoes?

He preferred slippers.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2016
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Got my son on his birthday

OK, yesterday was my sons 6th birthday and he wanted some sort of dog-robot for present but i didnt want to trow money away because i know what they (he and second son) do with toys :) so i told my wife that i would buy him skateboard, because he asked it half-year ago for it, wife said ok, but please buy him also new slippers.

I picked up him from nursery and sit him in his seat and asked him what he want for present, he still wanted robot. Then i told him that i want to buy him something he can ride. He was so exited, he asked me is that a car, i said " can u drive", he said "no, i am too yung", then he asked is that motorbyke, i replayed same, then he asked is that bike, i aksed him, does he already have bike, and he replayed yes, alse happend for scooter. After that he didnt have any more ideas. Then i told him that i will bought him slippers, because u ride slippers (sords of it :D) he was so angry/mad/sad i cant explan :D

ofc i bought him skateboard, but that was so funny for

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/goodye
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2015
🚨︎ report
A joke about American Football

My girlfriend is leaving for vacation tonight, and earlier she was trying to be all lovey dovey and snuggle, but I was trying to watch the football game.

Her: "Why don't you want to cuddle with me?"

Me: "I'm trying to watch the football game..."

Her: "But I'm going to be gone for an entire week!!!"

Me: "So are the Ravens..."

She threw a slipper at me and tried to fight back a smile.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2015
🚨︎ report
My brother just dad joked our dad with one I've never heard

My dad yelled down into the basement where we are watching the Bruins-Canadiens game.

Dad: Hey, are my slippers down there? If they are, can you throw them up?

My brother: Sure, but that'll require me to eat them first!

It made me chuckle.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ“…︎ May 02 2014
🚨︎ report
Wife was with me at work:

She said, "Someone left their slippers and a watch just sitting over there."

I responded with, "I guess time just keeps on slippin...slippin...slippin..."

I could hear her eyes roll as I mumbled, "into the fuuuutuuuuure!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealGreenRanger
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2015
🚨︎ report
There I was this morning, sitting and drinking coffee in my slippers, I thought to myself...

I really need to clean some mugs

πŸ‘︎ 140
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πŸ‘€︎ u/potato_fish12
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers this morning, when I thought to myself...

I really need to wash some mugs.

πŸ‘︎ 114
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?

A slipper

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lvrcerosis
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
what do you call a shoe made out of a banana?

a slipper

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yyyandere
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a shoe made from a banana?

A slipper!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call shoes made out of bananas?

Slippers.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rj_ravishjha
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a shoe πŸ‘Ÿ made out of banana🍌?

A slipper

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/da5kicka
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2018
🚨︎ report
what is a foot long and slippery

a slipper

πŸ‘︎ 98
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocketfinger
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2016
🚨︎ report

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