Planck, but not by much.
Wife: could it be my appendix? Me: no, it's on the other side. W: maybe it's just my ovary. M: you also may be ovary-acting. W: flips me the bird
You just say to your family member - "Did you hear someone in the family is part owl?"
They'll reply with "who?" And you look at them with a raised eyebrow.
Tell this joke over dinner if youd like to be the life of the party. You're welcome.
Trans-parent
I would name it hooman, so people could ask are we hooman or are we denser?
She was watching our wedding video again.
A rad-ish
Beer nuts are just over five dollars, deer nuts are only under a buck.
Not to worry, only Minor Miner Injuries
The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
…have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."
The plot was predictable, and the special f(x) was terrible.
As he picked up his hammer and saw.
A Labracadabrador
It’s a different kettle of fish altogether.
Near Mint Condition!!!
Bud Lite
I might get a bit carried away.
Eileen
you get a Jar Jar in an Ajar Jar.
Seated at the bar is an elderly lady, mid eighties.
The gentleman walks over, sits along side of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"
It's called bye-lingual.
A Rad-ish
So I packed my stuff and right.
"Well doc, there would appear to be a woman stuck to my butt."
My Dad has recently shown a fascination with space and NASA. Long story short, Christmas is coming up and my plan is to surprise him with an all expense paid trip to Florida for 4 days with passes to the Kennedy Space Center. I’d schedule it around a launch so he would be able to see it in person. As well as checking out the area a bit since we’re there.
Which is where I need your help! I want to coordinate hints with presents that slightly hint at the trip. For example, I picked out a NASA tshirt, a space shuttle plush toy, assorted astronaut ice cream, socks that have planets and a rocket on them, mug that says “coolest dad in the galaxy,” a map/atlas of florida, and luggage tags. And the final gift I’m thinking will be a letter that puts all the clues together and would include the plane tickets, car rental agreement, hotel confirmation, and the admission tickets in an envelope.
Can anyone give me ideas on what hints to use??
- I’m still adding/taking away present ideas so if anyone has any better ideas please let me know!!
Thank you so much!! Any type of help is appreciated!! I don’t really have that “creative” part of the mind... whether it be a rhyme or dad joke-y type hint, it doesn’t matter!
Eileen
It was so small that I couldn't even see it at first. She had to point it out, a tiny brown pinhead crawling up our slightly-darker-brown cabinet about knee-high.
"How did you even see that?" I asked.
And she answered, "With my spider-sense."
I love this woman so, so much.
no one got their lemonade and the cake was ruined
Has one breast and one testicle.
'Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!' She was watching our wedding video again."
She is watching our wedding video again.
She was watching our wedding video again.
…have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."
…have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."
She was watching our wedding video again
rad-ish
