Did you know you can hire a guide to take you through the labyrinth in sixty seconds?

It's a minute tour.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mahare
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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Tonight is the sixty second Grammy awards.

Finally, they’re gonna keep it short.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Laymans_Terms19
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
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My dad sold abacuses for a living during the sixties.

He was part of the counter culture.

πŸ‘︎ 112
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2018
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Every sixty seconds,

a minute passes by.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBroDingo
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2018
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I can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it.

I know it's hard to believe, but I saw it with my own two eyes.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChewyNutCluster
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
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Even street signs have punny humor
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jonathan392
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
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Made my dad cringe with this dad joke yesterday...

Yesterday was my dad's birthday, and he turned 52. I called him to wish him a happy birthday, find out what he wanted to do for dinner, etc, all the stuff you do on someone's birthday.

Then I said, "You're only ten years away from your one-minute birthday!"

He seemed confused so I had to clarify... "You know, your... Sixty-Second birthday!"

I could hear the cringe through the phone, and I heard my fiancΓ©e groan from downstairs.

Now I just have to hope he forgets over the next ten years so I can make this joke again.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iamtowelieama
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2015
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Me to my wife: Cool, the Grammies will only be on for a minute!

Her: looks at me, perplexed Me: They just said it’s the sixty second Grammy awards... Her: Get out

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sr3jan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
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What do you call sex with an anime cat girl?

Sixty-Nyaaaaan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PhoenixAurum
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
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A old fellow gets new glasses.

He tells his friend, I've gone sixty-seven years without glasses. Now they tell me I'll need them every day. His friend replies I've gone eighty-two years, and not needed glasses a day in my life. Oh yeah? Says the first old-timer. How's that? Because, says the second, I take my liqour from a bottle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotatoRacingTeam
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2014
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Three for one at Denny's

Homeless regular at Denny's sits down next to me at the counter.

He says, "Hey, Judy, I'll have a streak and eggs."

Judy, a waitress of sixty-some years inquires, "Do you have enough money for it?"

The man says, "I'd stake my life on it."

Judy gets annoyed and demands to see it, to which the man responds, pulling out a ten dollar bill, "Un-eggs-pected, I know."

She said, "No tip again, huh?"

He shoots back, "C'mon! Meat me in the middle here!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flipnotyk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2014
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The time my Dad went above and beyond the call of duty, at a formal dinner party

Picture this.

A fancy Christmas dinner party at his new wife's opulent, sandstone estate house. Plates are being cleared from the lengthy, mahogony table that seats the fourteen well-to-do guests, the main course having just finished. All have feasted gloriously on our Christmas fare.

My Dad, playing the good host, picks up two bottles of wine, one white and one red, and proceeds to do a round of the table, chatting amiably with everyone as he circles. Those whose glasses are less than 90% full, he proceeds to top-up. I am sitting in the very centre of the long table, seated directly opposite a very well off lady in her early sixties, by the name of Margaret. My dad, having just topped off my glass, is now standing directly behind me.

This older woman, full of grace and charm, looks to my Dad and says, "Thank you so much for this glorious meal, John. It's been simply divine."

My Dad, "Not at all, Margaret, not at all. Could I charge your glass?"

Margaret, "Oh, no no, thank you. I've got the bottle in front of me!"

My Dad, quick of wit, and with a sneaky - yet charming - grin on his face, responds, "Ah, well, better that than a frontal lobotomy!"

I've never been more proud of him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rolloxan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2013
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I need six D-batteries.

Sixty batteries??

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Squiggledog
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2015
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Woman marries a funeral director

Just saw this on facebook...

A woman in her eighties made the evening news because she was getting married for the fourth time. The following day she was being interviewed by a local TV station, and the commentator asked about what it felt to be married again at that age and would she share part of her previous experiences, since it seem quite unique the fact that her new husband was a β€˜funeral director.’ After a short time to think, a smile came to her face and she proudly explained that she had first married a banker when she was in her twenties, in her forties she married a circus ring master, and in her sixties she married a pastor and now in her eighties, a funeral director. The amazed commentator asked her why she had married men with such diverse carriers. With a smile on her face she explained, β€˜I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.’

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sir_mrej
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2014
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A Paragon

While watching The Voice we wondered who first performed the song "Tide is High." I googled it and informed the family it was a Jamaican band in the sixties called The Paragons.

My dad says, "what's that? Two gons?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/angami
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2014
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Dancing Dad

At a friend of mine's wedding reception, we were all dancing to "Sexy and I know it" by LMFAO. The groom's dad comes out and dances in the middle and before leaving the middle of the dance floor yells: "I'm sixty and I know it!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sgberghoff
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2013
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A new angle...

Got my wife in Church today. I asked her what the hymn number was, and she said, "360". I fully rotated the hymnal, and said, "I couldn't find it". She whispered louder, "THREE SIXTY". In mid second rotation she called me an asshole! In church! Tsk, tsk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hardrockers77
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2014
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Did you know that every sixty seconds in Africa,

A minute passes?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JG_melon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
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