As a mafia hitman, my story of a successful mission I was assigned--which had me assassinate a decade of mob bosses--usually started as similarly sounding like the layman's term of the fibrous tissue along the calves and heels...
"I killed these ten Dons..."
I was teaching political correctness to my niece and I said, "Ok let's say there's someone named Michael or Mike for short, and if Mike delivers mail, he's a Mail-man. Similarly if there's someone named Jennifer who's doing the same job what would you call her?"
"I see" said the blind carpenter, as he picked up his hammer and saw.
These go on for days all based on similar puns
Why are sellotape and trees similar?
What is the similarity between toll booths and Microsoft?
They are both basically Bill Gates.
What similar to working at McDonald’s and being a archeologist in Athens
You will smell like ancient Greece
Whats similar in Everest and my wallet?
Imade a similar one a few days ago bit i fpund more squirrels
I don't like how shopping centres are so similar..
You see one, you've seen a mall.
What makes posters and planets similar?
how are air conditioning and computers similar?
they don't work as well if you open windows
Why is this post similar to an infected arm?
What's similar between strippers and those who operate election booths?
They're both poll workers.
Did you know that if you took the Eiffel Tower apart and laid each piece end to end...
you could go to jail for a very long time?
What's similar between hang, hinge and hong
What's the similarity between a person with rheumatism and a high school drug dealer
They both have bad joints
What’s the similarity between the Titanic and the Sixth Sense!
I have never been married...
But, I've had a few near Mrs.
Hey! Did you see that snail-shaped car with the letter S painted on it drive by?
Just look at that escargo.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
What’s the similarity between 2020 and 2022
What are the similarities between good yogurt and a well-traveled man?
So what if I'm not part of a culturally similar indigenous peoples inhabiting the Arctic regions of Greenland, Canada and Alaska that speaks a language that is part of the Eskimo–Aleut family.
I could try harder to be, but I guess I'm just not Inuit.
Know what the female equivalent of blood brothers are?
Scientists record the sound of two helium atoms laughing.
Fun fact: The Wendigo is just one of many similar sub species.
There's also the Who-digo, Wheredigo, Whatdigo, and Whydigo.
What's a similarity with a hippo and a Zippo?
They both can kill you if you mess with them a lot.
Shows about food are no longer available on cable tv.
You can only get them on dish.
Is the prostate gland similar to the testis?
No, there’s a vas deferens between them.
Why Kia doesn't sell cars in Finland?
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship wheel on his junk. Bar tender asks, "what's with the wheel?"
Pirate replies, "Yar, been driving me nuts."
How do you get 100 rowdy Canadians out of the pool?
Two domestic abusers, very similar features...
What is similar between a cigarette and a hamster?
They’re both harmless until you stick it in you mouth and set it on fire.
I’m reading a book about these two melons that have a forbidden love. They’ve tried to run away together many times, but are caught every time.
It seems that no matter how hard they try, they just can’t-elope
A citizen of the roman empire is teleported to modern day Spain
Luckily, he is able to understand the Spanish Language to some degree because of its similarities to Latin. As he learns more, he is fine with most of the changes the Spaniards made, but disliked how “quid” (latin for “what”) translated.
Whenever he made his thoughts on the word known, he would get called an antique.
What is the similarity between a bra and a bar?
They both drive men crazy when they open.
This just in: 2 men broke into the city bank using nothing more than a few mannequin limbs.
Officials say we are dealing with an armed robbery
Can I post here if i need help coming up with a pun? I’m a high school teacher and am implementing a “phone hotel”. I wanted to name it something clever. Like a name that sounds similar to a real hotel or even name it “Phone Hotel” with a clever slogan. Any ideas?
How are dad jokes and anti-vaccine kids similar?
Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system yet?
They looked at the reviews first...... only 1 star
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