Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?

They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HandCrimped
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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a viagra shipment was stolen

police are looking for a gang of hardened criminals

πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/samboooody
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know the Hindenburg was carrying a shipment of perfume?

It was carrying several cases of Eau de Humanity.

πŸ‘︎ 158
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Klopford
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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The capital of India received a large shipment of refrigerators for displaying meat but they were contaminated with coronavirus...

it was a lot of new deli cases

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xtaldad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a military shipment full of t rexes?

small arms

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Major_Cupcake
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I came across a great movie about a semi-truck with a defective refrigeration unit that had to deliver a large shipment of meat.

Unfortunately, the trailer spoiled it

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CpBear
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
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My prosthetic limbs business has taken off and we made our first shipment abroad.

I am now an international arms dealer.

πŸ‘︎ 300
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2018
🚨︎ report
For my final exam in piloting school, they had me fly a shipment of paint to its destination.

I passed with flying colors.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToroZuzuX
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a shipment of amphetamine?

A speedboat

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ladysatan666
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
In exchange for peace, the US is offering North Korea a shipment of transparent rockets.

So that Kim Jong Un can still claim to have new clear weapons.

πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2018
🚨︎ report
A crisis has developed after a herd of cows ate an entire shipment of edibles

Officials say the steaks have never been higher

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bendragonpants
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What was the trucker's excuse when he was late with a shipment of computers?

"It was a hard drive"

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iscarpia87
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2017
🚨︎ report
What did the butcher say to the out-shipment of beef?

It was nice meating you!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Austin__Jones
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2014
🚨︎ report
History lesson

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day. The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TibtibThePrincess
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Cinco de Mayo

When I was growing up I asked my dad what Cinco de Mayo was about. He said it was Mexico's version of the Boston Tea Party, where they threw mayo off a ship and people were yelling "sink-o de mayo!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justkayla
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2013
🚨︎ report
Dadjokes at work

We had a large shipment of LED screens arrive at work today. They were all stacked up near a colleague's desk, let's call him Jim.
I approached my boss and asked "Is Jim in trouble?"
My boss looks at me, puzzled "No?"
"Then why's he been so heavily monitored!"

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2015
🚨︎ report
My dad and I were eating McDonalds watching the news,

When a report comes on about a huge shipment of cocaine that had been found, to which my dad says

"Did anyone order a large coke?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisroomisalive
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2013
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Every year Dad has to tell it to SOMEONE...

"It's a little known fact that the Titanic was not only transporting passengers, but was also carrying a large shipment of mayonnaise from Hellman's factories in England to consumers in Mexico. After the Titanic had made its trip to New York, the mayonnaise-- supposedly the largest single shipment of the stuff to ever be delivered to Mexico-- was going to be dropped off in the port city Vera Cruz. But unfortunately, when the ship sank, the Mexicans had lost all of the mayonnaise they had ordered. Extremely saddened by their loss and its economic consequences, the Mexicans declared a day that would go down in history as a holiday of remembrance and mourning. And every year on May the 5th they would celebrate...

"Sinko de Mayo."

hyuh hyuh hyuh hyuh hyuh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Icaz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2013
🚨︎ report
Quite a rich pun

A wealthy man who occasionally dabbled in black-market affairs was strolling through town one day. One of his associates came running up to him with some bad news. "Sir, the shipment from Singapore is late" his associate said. "DO NOT talk to me about these affairs in public you fool!" the wealthy man blurted back. "My apologies, sir. Would you prefer to discuss this in your home?" his associate replied. The wealthy man responded "Yes, please speak to me in the manor to which I'm accustomed."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BadCorey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2015
🚨︎ report
I dad joked my manager. .

I work at a pet store and our order of reptiles came in...

Me: I soaked the new guys and put em in there habitats.

Manager: how are they looking?

Me: Good but there's something about the new chameleon.. he might be a problem

Manager: Whats wrong with him?

Me: I don't trust him, he's got shifty eyes

Manager: Oh god, go get ready for the cricket shipment please.

Edit: wall of text

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joeymuerte
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2015
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I stayed in Australia for a while and was rewarded with the ultimate Dad story

My friend had a really interesting job. One of those jobs you didn't know people could get.

tl;dr just read it, it's worth reading the whole description of the job

Before I moved, my neighbor's job was based in Antarctica. He worked with one of the research centers there, and his job was standing up penguins. I kid you not β€” when shipments arrived by air, like by helicopter or by airplane or whatever, the penguins would all look up with their tiny heads and look up so high they would fall over backwards. Now, penguins are super awkward in how they waddle everywhere, and so, not wanting to disturb the local environment, the research station had to have someone that could suit up and go out there and stand up penguins.

As soon as every shipment arrived, he would say, "Welp, better go suit up now," get into the whole penguin suit, and waddle out there all incognito and stand the penguins on their feet again. I'm sure they could have done it on their own, eventually, but the idea was to disturb the animals for as little time as possible.

I thought it was the most ridiculous thing when he told me, but he got the job through his dad's researcher colleague. Basically, the deal was they would get people to go down for 3-month periods (I think he ended up doing 6 months) and this was his occupation for that time. Actually, is plane flight there was one of the really cool parts: LA went to Sydney, which then went back across the Pacific to Buenos Aires. Then, on the final leg, he would finally go Buenos Aires to the research station. The planes actually had to be specially fitted for the job, though β€” Of course, you can't have typical runways in Antarctica because they'd get ice all over them and there'd be all these problems β€” so the planes had to have mechanics on board each flight who would, mid-flight, switch out the take-off wheels for the landing skis. Just like a sea plane, except it was a snow-plane. Coolest thing ever.

Oh, but the way he described working with the penguins was the best! Most of the time he'd just go out and stand them up, but sometimes one would hurt itself. Like one time one of them fell over backwards and hit its foot the wrong way, so he had to not only pick it up, but give medical help, too. He seriously had to prop up the penguin, take off his glove, and pull on each of the penguins little webbed toes, pull on their legs. Sort of like how I'm pulling your leg right now.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/L1AM
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2013
🚨︎ report
Dad got me hook, line, and sinker.

My dad owns a small garden supply store. Today, he got a new shipment in, and as I was helping him unpack the boxes, I pulled out a couple fishing rods, which he's never stocked before.

Me: You gonna start selling fishing gear?

Dad: Yup.

Me: How come?

Dad: Just for the Halibut.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/graffitizoo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2014
🚨︎ report
NO FIREWORKS

On the way into a camp that my family goes to every year, there is a check in area and there has always been a sign up that says "NO FIREWORKS". My uncle asked the man who was working the check in area "no fireworks?? still? you guys are always out of fireworks. can you give me a call when you get your next shipment in?"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bagz118
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2015
🚨︎ report
Delayed cheese shredder

Cheese shredder broke last week - ordered a new, fancier one. Snow slowed the shipment down.

Emailed wife: "Shredder is delayed - I bring you this news with grate sadness."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/medford_btc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2015
🚨︎ report
Shipping Jokes

Every time a large shipment arrives at the house.. Dad: Did you hear FedEx and UPS are merging? Me: No I didn't... Dad: Yes, the are going to call themselves FedUp!

He will go on laughing about it for 10 minutes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aquabats_unite
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2013
🚨︎ report
Viagra shipment stolen

Cops looking for a bunch of hardened criminals

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rotimi_babalola
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
🚨︎ report
A shipment of Viagra has been stolen

Police looking for hardened criminals.

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eplow
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Breaking news: An entire shipment of Viagra has been stolen.

The polices are looking for a gang of hardened criminals.

πŸ‘︎ 105
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2018
🚨︎ report
β€œBreaking News”

A shipment of viagra has been stolen; The police are now looking for a gang of β€˜hardened’ criminals.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bubblechief19
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England...

In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York . This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. The Mexican people loved Mayonnaise so much and this loss was so devastating that the Mexican people declared a National day of Mourning which happens every year on the day the shipment was supposed to arrive. This day of course is May 5th or more commonly known as Sinko de Mayo.

πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lucy_dogg90210
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2017
🚨︎ report
This one's actually from my dad a few days ago

Most people didn’t know that back in 1912, Hellmann’s mayonnaise was manufactured in England.

In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.

This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico … but as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York . The ship hit an iceberg and sank.

The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning.

The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as …Sinko De Mayo.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rIse_four_ten_ten
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2014
🚨︎ report

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