My shift at work ends at midnight, but I'm a night owl so I find staying up late easy...

...I could stay up until midnight with my eyes closed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scoo89
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
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I once had a 2nd shift job, 3pm-11pm.

They even had a shift differential!

After my first couple weeks I received a case of hotdogs along with my paycheck. I thought nothing of it, but then it happened again next payday, and honestly the paycheck felt a little short.

I approached my boss and asked him what the deal was.

He said "your paycheck? Yeah that's just your day rates."

"And the hot dogs?" I asked

"Nitrates"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ServiceB4Self
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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I was doing gymnastics after a part-time shift at the tire change shop, my coach asked me how I learned to do back handsprings without a tumbling cylinder

I said it actually just took me a goodyear or two

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dis907kid
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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I just got back from a shift at Tesco’s..

And while I was working a nice old lady came to my til. I scanned through all her items and it came to Β£56.83, but after counting up all her change she had just shy of Β£40.

So I offered to help her, to which she refused but I eagerly insisted. I thought this is probably someone’s Nan, and I’d like to think someone would help my Nan in the same situation.

So after no time at all, we had all her shopping back on the shelves!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/archiewalton09
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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How do chickens end there shift’s

They cluck out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AshamedTurtwig
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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I tried to convince one of my co workers to buy the first round of drinks after our shift...

He said no, but it was worth a shot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingmanEXE
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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A couple of character shifts and Alice in Wonderland becomes A Lice in Wonderland.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bandicute_Springs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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Why did Karen press Shift-Control-Escape on her PC?

She wanted to see the Task Manager.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyberentomology
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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I've been fired from work for putting in too many shifts

Keyboard manufacturing isn't as easy as you think

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
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A paradigm shift:

When two small coins get nudged

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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Mailman here, just starting my shift. Thought I would just..

.. Post here.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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The project to restore Big Ben was a bit behind schedule, so the construction company put on a third shift...

Men are now working around the clock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
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We should call Ctrl + Shift + Escape shortcut on windows the "Karen shortcut"

Cause it lets you speak to Task Manager

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Socra16
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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After a long shift, I was given this opportunity. v.redd.it/18cblj38tnv41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/evandolajakulater
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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cursed_shift
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Serggio42
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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I once tried to drive my Toyota Corolla with a stick shift on the Autobahn, but German authorities flagged me down and informed me that was illegal...

So I drove down the manualbahn instead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CalmingVisionary
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
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As the newest medic on my shift, my boss told me it was my responsibility to watch the office.

I’m currently on season 6, and still have no idea what this has to do with being a medic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rgapinski
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
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How does a conductor prepare for his shift at work?

He trains.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cjphillips612
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
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What do you call working two shifts in one day at McDonald's?

A McDouble

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
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Knight Shift!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Professor_Jamie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
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This made me chuckle. I always say as long as my legs are spry and my brain is working, I can pick up extra shifts.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moose_da_goose
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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My friends sometime ask me why I yell at them all the time over instant message about this amazing new business opportunity I’m involved in that I’m really excited about! They also ask me if maybe if shift key on my keyboard is broken.

But I reply β€œNO I AM A CAPITALIST”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/allanon101
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
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My shift key has worn to shit.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/XavierCatlow
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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Condimental Shift
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BladorthinTheGrey
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
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Yesterday I toured the keyboard factory and I watched as someone got fired for not putting in enough shifts!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gussie789
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
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I have a problem with the shift keys on my keyboard...

Neither of them are under control.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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Got a co-worker with this one as he was heading home after a 24hr shift.

I work in the investigations section of a military police department, and aside from our normal office hours, we have 24hr shifts that cycle through the office, so that there's an investigator present and on-duty 24/7/365.

My co-worker was wrapping up some paperwork this morning, and coming off of his 24 hr shift, and almost dead to the world. At the time, a pair of other investigators in my office were discussing some case that had happened a day or two prior that involved an emancipated juvenile.

I was just logging into my workstation to check my e-mail and I turned to my co-worker and asked, "Hey, so when a juvenile gets emancipated, and he announces it - proclaims it, if you will - what would they call that?"

He stares at me with a blank, uncomprehending expression and I continue, "An emancipation...proclamation? Maybe?"

The annoyed groans of someone who's been up for 24 hours are so satisfying.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Droidball
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2015
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TIL: All IKEA employees must attend a mandatory meeting every morning before they start their shift.

Assembly Required.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2018
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My best friend was straight up fired from his job in a PC keyboard factory today. All his manager said was that he wasn't putting in enough shifts.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Perigeesus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2018
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What did the car ENGINE say to the STICK SHIFT?

Talk to me... I'm all GEARS!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RCRadioCarbon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
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What was Adolf Hitler's favourite work-shift?

Nein to five.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stivesiv
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
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I saw a street artist who painted gear shifts

It was pretty clutch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/geldonyetich
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2018
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Yes, and by holding the shift key reddit.com/r/AskReddit/co…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowww2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
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I worked two shifts at the coffee shop yesterday and another two shifts today.

I guess you could call it a double double.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kgirl995996
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
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Have you heard about the Egyptian guys that work at the Toyota factory on the afternoon shift?

They call them the 2-10 car men.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jwhlr_online
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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[Dragonball Z] Do you know why Goku never knew how to drive a stick shift?

Because he preferred Instant Transmission.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/one_love_silvia
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2018
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Tilt shift is a hard skill to master
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hookedonbrooke
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2018
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How do earth’s continents shift?

In slowm-ocean

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pungunner98
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2018
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I could never work an early shift at a funeral home

I'm just not a mourning person

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodStevening
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2017
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I just finished reading the 17th century novel by Miguel de Cervantes about an ass who works lots of extra night shifts...

It was called Donkey O.T.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeardFM
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2017
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I've been fired from work for putting in too many shifts.

Keyboard manufacturing isn't as easy as you'd think.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
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