A list of puns related to "Shafting"
A flat miner.
A-flat Minor.
Don't worry, it's just a miner scratch.
The teacher said it was very grainy.
Me: "Thanks, I grew it myself"
I said it has it’s ups and downs
I really should take steps to avoid them
Those weren't the most uplifting news to me
I'm going to start taking steps to avoid them.
It's in A flat minor.
He is a bad mother.
… they gave me ol the PTO Shaft.
A Duct-ape. Hahaha any dads laugh in approval?
Bless him - He meant well
...a flat minor
One cold winter's morning he was walking along a country road, when he heard a cry for help from a nearby lake.
He turned to see a little girl struggling in the broken ice in the middle of the lake. She'd been skating and had fallen into the icy water. Without a moment's hesitation the tramp ran onto the ice and slipped and slided over to the little girl. He managed to pull her out without breaking the ice further and he carried her back to the road.
He took off his coat and wrapped the little girl in it and began looking for a car to flag down. A few moments later a huge chauffeur-driven limo pulled up, and who stepped out but the little girl's father - the mayor of the nearby town and a multi-millionaire.
"How can I ever thank you sir?" says the father after putting his daughterinto the warmth of the limo.
"Just name your price - I'm a wealthy man."
"Ahem, well ..." stammered the tramp "...eh I'm a little short of cash, perhaps you could help me out"
"Certainly" says the girl's father and he pulls out his wallet.
"Oh dear" says the father, "I don't carry much cash with me, I only have ten dollars - but come home with me and I'll get more from the safe"
"No! No!" says the tramp, "Why ten dollars is more money than I've seen in my whole life - that will be plenty".
"Well, if you insist" says the father - "now what will you do with your money?"
"Oh that's easy" says the tramp "I've not had a rest in 20 years. I think I'll buy myself a holiday"
"Well good luck" says the father, and he gets into the car and signals his chauffeur to drive home.
"Ten Dollars" thinks the tramp, "I'm rich! I'm rich!", and off he goes to the town, to buy himself a holiday.
He finds a travel agent, walks in - much to the disgust of the staff - and goes up to the desk.
"I'll have one holiday please!"
"Ahem, which holiday would sir like" asked the girl at the desk, forcing a smile.
"Oh, any holiday I don't mind" replied the tramp.
"Well how much money does sir have to spend on sir's holiday?"
"Oh lots - anything up to ten dollars"
"TEN DOLLARS!! You'll never get a holiday for ten dollars" says the girl incredulously.
"Oh dear" said the tramp, "and I was so looking forward to a holiday - I'll probably never get another chance - isn't there anything you can do?"
"Well I don't think so sir, but hold on and I'll check"
The girl goes into the back of the shop, and searches in the deepest, dustiest filing drawers she can find. There - to her amazement -
... keep reading on reddit ➡is wrong on many levels
A whittle at a time
It was a miner safety hazard.
We named him Shaft, because he would patrol the house every night before finally coming into our bedroom to make sure we were tucked in safely.
After my wife gave birth to our first child, she noticed that the cat would check on me and our son, but was no longer checking to make sure she was tucked in safely.
Several nights pass where Shaft all but ignores my wife on his nightly patrols. “Hunny, have you noticed that Shaft started ignoring me once our son was born?” she asked.
“I have, and I’m not surprised,” I replied. “You see this cat Shaft is a bad mother tucker.”
If it isn’t three shafts for drawing water from the ground.
It had its ups and downs. There was this kid who would come in and try to interfere with my job. Man, he really knew how to push my buttons.
I got shafted.
I had some shafts come in from machining vendor. They were oversized, so I had them returned to be re-turned and then returned.
Me: “This thing is going to be huge.”
Son: “Why? It’s only three floors high.”
Me: “Look at that elevator shaft! They’re going to build more on!”
Son: “Geez Dad, that’s a bit harsh.”
It's that part at the tip of the shaft.
One could say the miners got shafted.
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
Our 8 y/o son loves Minecraft. Without our oversight, he'd play all day every day. He was allowed to play on Sunday afternoon. He chose to play survivor mode, and he came running into the room where we were sitting to brag, "MOM, PAPI, I dug a shaft down into this hill and I found TWO DIAMONDS!"
He continued on, "So, since I'm in survival mode, should I use the diamonds to make a hoe or a pickax?" Something like that, comparing what it would cost him from something called his "workbench" and "inventory." Admittedly, I've only played creative mode with him, so I don't know all the terms.
Anyway, without missing a beat, my wife says, "Son, always spend your diamonds on hoes."
I love that woman so very much.
A flat miner
A flat minor.
A flat miner.
A flat miner.
A Flat Miner
A flat minor.
A-flat minor
A flat miner
A flat miner
A flat minor
A flat miner
A flat miner
A flat miner.
A flat miner
A flat miner
it has its ups and downs, but most of the time you just get the shaft.
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