What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kevindavis338
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 22 2022
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What do you get after dropping a piano down a mine shaft?

A-flat Minor.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FeePsychological6778
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 11 2022
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What did the mine shaft worker say when he got scratched on a rock?

Don't worry, it's just a miner scratch.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/reddit_maj
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 26 2022
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I took a picture of a wheat field for my digital photography class.

The teacher said it was very grainy.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 35
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Oh_My_Monster
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 05 2022
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Someone: "Hey, nice hair!"

Me: "Thanks, I grew it myself"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bake_in_da_south
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 02 2022
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My friend asked me what it was like being an elevator mechanic

I said it has it’s ups and downs

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/I-Killed-Goliath
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 02 2022
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I’m afraid of elevators

I really should take steps to avoid them

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rahastes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 23 2022
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My son told me he was stuck in an elevator for 2 hours

Those weren't the most uplifting news to me

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheMishaG4merAlt2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 19 2022
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I am terrified of the elevator..

I'm going to start taking steps to avoid them.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 70
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/polo_1520
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 29 2022
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I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.

It's in A flat minor.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MrPeteO
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 18 2020
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Why does the second Sunday in May always make Shaft feel guilty?

He is a bad mother.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jayrandomer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 30 2020
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I had to quit my job at the tractor parts store after they screwed me out of my paid leave….

… they gave me ol the PTO Shaft.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/noobmoney_rs
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 31 2022
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What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft

A Duct-ape. Hahaha any dads laugh in approval?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 30
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ultmtweemanfrsh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 12 2019
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Whenever I encountered one of life's little traumas, my Dad would take me to one side and say "it could be worse - you could be submerged in water twenty foot down a dark shaft"

Bless him - He meant well

πŸ‘οΈŽ 35
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Scobberlotcherz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 30 2019
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What musical note does a piano make when falling down a mine shaft?

...a flat minor

πŸ‘οΈŽ 48
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kennethjc
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 10 2017
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There was this tramp…

One cold winter's morning he was walking along a country road, when he heard a cry for help from a nearby lake.

He turned to see a little girl struggling in the broken ice in the middle of the lake. She'd been skating and had fallen into the icy water. Without a moment's hesitation the tramp ran onto the ice and slipped and slided over to the little girl. He managed to pull her out without breaking the ice further and he carried her back to the road.

He took off his coat and wrapped the little girl in it and began looking for a car to flag down. A few moments later a huge chauffeur-driven limo pulled up, and who stepped out but the little girl's father - the mayor of the nearby town and a multi-millionaire.

"How can I ever thank you sir?" says the father after putting his daughterinto the warmth of the limo.

"Just name your price - I'm a wealthy man."

"Ahem, well ..." stammered the tramp "...eh I'm a little short of cash, perhaps you could help me out"

"Certainly" says the girl's father and he pulls out his wallet.

"Oh dear" says the father, "I don't carry much cash with me, I only have ten dollars - but come home with me and I'll get more from the safe"

"No! No!" says the tramp, "Why ten dollars is more money than I've seen in my whole life - that will be plenty".

"Well, if you insist" says the father - "now what will you do with your money?"

"Oh that's easy" says the tramp "I've not had a rest in 20 years. I think I'll buy myself a holiday"

"Well good luck" says the father, and he gets into the car and signals his chauffeur to drive home.

"Ten Dollars" thinks the tramp, "I'm rich! I'm rich!", and off he goes to the town, to buy himself a holiday.

He finds a travel agent, walks in - much to the disgust of the staff - and goes up to the desk.

"I'll have one holiday please!"

"Ahem, which holiday would sir like" asked the girl at the desk, forcing a smile.

"Oh, any holiday I don't mind" replied the tramp.

"Well how much money does sir have to spend on sir's holiday?"

"Oh lots - anything up to ten dollars"

"TEN DOLLARS!! You'll never get a holiday for ten dollars" says the girl incredulously.

"Oh dear" said the tramp, "and I was so looking forward to a holiday - I'll probably never get another chance - isn't there anything you can do?"

"Well I don't think so sir, but hold on and I'll check"

The girl goes into the back of the shop, and searches in the deepest, dustiest filing drawers she can find. There - to her amazement -

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FancyAlligator
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 08 2022
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A man that makes a mistake in an elevator,

is wrong on many levels

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mystichunterz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 24 2020
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How do carve an arrow shaft from a tree branch?

A whittle at a time

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TeamXII
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 18 2018
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Why did the prospector have to take his pickaxe out of the shaft when he was done?

It was a miner safety hazard.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/celt1299
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 26 2015
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If Shaft was a lumberjack, would that make him a plaid mamma jamma?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LegoGreenLantern
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 04 2015
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A few years ago, my wife and I adopted a cat.

We named him Shaft, because he would patrol the house every night before finally coming into our bedroom to make sure we were tucked in safely.

After my wife gave birth to our first child, she noticed that the cat would check on me and our son, but was no longer checking to make sure she was tucked in safely.

Several nights pass where Shaft all but ignores my wife on his nightly patrols. β€œHunny, have you noticed that Shaft started ignoring me once our son was born?” she asked.

β€œI have, and I’m not surprised,” I replied. β€œYou see this cat Shaft is a bad mother tucker.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/B-Rayne
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 08 2022
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Well well well

If it isn’t three shafts for drawing water from the ground.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Gingi0
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 21 2021
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I used to be an elevator operator

It had its ups and downs. There was this kid who would come in and try to interfere with my job. Man, he really knew how to push my buttons.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 41
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KnowBuddysPerfect
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 30 2013
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I bought a bunch of antique spears online, but they arrived without their spear heads.

I got shafted.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 194
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 13 2019
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CNC Machinist dadjoke...

I had some shafts come in from machining vendor. They were oversized, so I had them returned to be re-turned and then returned.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 20 2020
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Proud day for me! My son got me with this exchange while looking at a new building being constructed.

Me: β€œThis thing is going to be huge.”

Son: β€œWhy? It’s only three floors high.”

Me: β€œLook at that elevator shaft! They’re going to build more on!”

Son: β€œGeez Dad, that’s a bit harsh.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 23 2019
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What's the point of a spear?

It's that part at the tip of the shaft.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Oy-Law
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 16 2019
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Several miners got trapped but the mining company refused to help them.

One could say the miners got shafted.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 14 2019
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*stuck in an elevator*

Me:We really got the shaft.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/coot32
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 27 2018
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DontFuckWithMyMoney
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22 2016
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My wife dadjoked my son (and me) with this Minecraft gem.

Our 8 y/o son loves Minecraft. Without our oversight, he'd play all day every day. He was allowed to play on Sunday afternoon. He chose to play survivor mode, and he came running into the room where we were sitting to brag, "MOM, PAPI, I dug a shaft down into this hill and I found TWO DIAMONDS!"

He continued on, "So, since I'm in survival mode, should I use the diamonds to make a hoe or a pickax?" Something like that, comparing what it would cost him from something called his "workbench" and "inventory." Admittedly, I've only played creative mode with him, so I don't know all the terms.

Anyway, without missing a beat, my wife says, "Son, always spend your diamonds on hoes."

I love that woman so very much.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wuapinmon
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 14 2015
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If you drop a piano down a mine shaft, what key does it play?

A flat miner

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bettercallsaulabq
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 02 2022
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What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat minor.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 88
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Aussie_Bull1990
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 26 2021
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What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/redline380
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 12 2021
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What sound does a piano make when it is dropped in a mine shaft?

A flat miner.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Fuzed_Canadian
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 04 2022
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What do you get when to drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/das0tter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 02 2021
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What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat minor.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wookiewithabrush
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 17 2021
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What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A-flat minor

πŸ‘οΈŽ 38
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dadrantbiz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 22 2021
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What note do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft.

A flat miner

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 02 2020
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What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner

πŸ‘οΈŽ 63
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JustFapped69Times
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 30 2019
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What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat minor

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/theflashsawyer23
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 18 2020
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What chord does a piano make when it falls down a mine shaft?

A flat miner

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 04 2020
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What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Patfan74
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 17 2020
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What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/puggoamber
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 13 2019
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What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bullrawg
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 08 2017
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What chord did the piano that fell down the mine shaft play?

A flat miner

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/StringTailor
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 13 2018
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Life is like an elevator...

it has its ups and downs, but most of the time you just get the shaft.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/justcrazytalk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 29 2018
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