Why did the new employee sew one ball in the groin area of each Elmo doll?
She was told to give them all one test tickle
8 y/o, "Dad, what does the space needle sew?"
Me, "I dunno, what?"
Her, "The fabric of space time!"
She told me that while we were watching the new years show at the space needle lol.
Don’t talk to me while I’m trying to sew this small rip.
I sat down to sew and wouldntchayknow it, the machine is broken.
Guess that was my last stitch effort.
To the EM who told me not to sew up your child's leg: Suture Self
My sister was hired to sew 8 bridesmaid dresses by Saturday. . .
She seamstressed but she’ll get it done. However her skills are only sew sew.
I saw a raccoon with a sewing machine, I asked my wife "Does that raccoon know how to sew?"
She said, "That's how it seams"
What do you call a bird that sews?
Wife: "... that reminds me that I have to sew your pants when we get back"
Me: "Just let me know when you do so I can go ahead and reap them."
My friend writes songs about sewing machines.
He's a Singer songwriter. Or sew it seams.
According to my sewing instructor, I'm easily the worst student she's ever had.
Oops... sorry, wrong thread !
My wife has begun writing songs about her sewing machine
She wants to be a Singer-songwriter, or sew it seams.
A pediatric surgeon sewed his kids together as a new form of punishment.
If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.
I met a pretty cool guy who fixed my ripped shirt.
Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was...
...an ether/oar situation...
This left me in stitches...
What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing his own incision?
What did the nun say as she sat down at the sewing machine?
This could be habit forming.
Yesterday was national sewing day..
I've got a date with a woman form the sewing machine factory.
Why are pine trees bad at sewing?
They always drop their needles!!
Do you know how to make a net?
You just sew a bunch of holes together.
I thought my girlfriend looked like she wanted to get back into sewing clothes...
At least that's the way she seamed...
I was using my sewing machine the other day and started making musical notes, then i realized....
I shoplifted a sewing machine yesterday but I’m really regretting it.
It just doesn’t seam right.
My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear, when she asked, “Do you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?” In my best bear voice, I replied...
“No thanks, I’m stuffed!"
I recently took a job writing jingles for a sewing machine company.
Why did the woman felt uncomfortable whilst sewing
Why arent sewing classes called heminars?
I knew a tailor who was depressed before he went to sewing school
Three sewing machines walk into a bar
The first says to the second, “Are you a Singer?”
The second replies, “Why, Janome?”
The third remarks, “Oh, Brother!”
I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines.
He's a Singer songwriter, or sew it seams.
My friend composes songs about sewing machines
He's a Singer songwriter or sew it seams.
My sewing instructor just told me that I’m the worst student she has ever seen.
My mate composes songs about sewing machines.
He's a Singer songwriter, sew it seams.
My friend composes songs about sewing machines.
He's a Singer songwriter or sew it seams...
My sewing instructor thinks I’m the worst student she has ever seen.
I write songs about sewing machines !
I need help with my sewing
I need help with my sewing
I write songs about sewing machines.
I write songs about sewing machines...
Everyone in my sewing class thinks I’m the worst they have ever seen.
I write songs about sewing machines.
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