My son asked me if he should take 120k in loans for an Egyptology degree.

I told him don't even sphinx about it

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/taewooky
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Why are Egyptians such great businessmen?

Because they're great at pyramid schemes!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lesbianqueen7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Number wars, a dad joke story.

6 couldn't believe it. 7 had finally gone off the deep end. 7 had long offended 6. A repeat 6 offender if you will. But this was unforgivable. 9 was his best friend. How could he do this to his best friend? How could it be that 7 ate 9?

6, filled with fury, called his friends 2 and 4. They would get even. 10 was the best friend of 7 you see. 2, 4 and 6 ate 10 to get even. They then began plotting further revenge, but 7 acted first. He gathered 1, 3 and 5 together to take down 6.

Realizing that the odds were against them, 2, 4 and 6 retreated. Their only option was to turn to 12 who had twice the resources 6 had. 7 couldn't follow.

12 quickly called 3 to find out what the root of 7's attack on 9. 3 wasn't sure. He had only supported 7 because of a long standing friendship. But 3 promised to get to the root cause.

Meanwhile, 7's scheming was not yet done. 12 was powerful, but there was one who could reverse his decision to harbor 6. If he could just convince 21, nicknamed blackjack, to reverse 12's decision, it would all be over.

Three times 7 went to 21's compound. On the third try he was able to get through. After explaining that 6 had masterminded the elimination of 10, a grand meeting of the numbers was called.

Both 6 and 7 argued over the whole thing. 13 had the unlucky task of adjudicating the meeting. Each time 13 made an argument, 6 and 7 would add to it by shouting over each other.

Finally, 21 had had enough. "7, why did you eat 9"

7 responded "I just wanted to get 3 square meals." 21 had 7 eliminated for initiating the battle and 6 jailed for masterminding 10's death. And the war was over.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
🚨︎ report
When I was a teenager, I wanted to join a pyramid scheme.

But my mummy wouldn't let me.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GreatGreenGobbo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the government scheme to get rid of deodorant?

They said that they are going to axe body spray.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SteadyingRuck
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend tried to get me to join his MLM scheme of selling devices for establishing a horizontal line by means of a bubble in a liquid that shows adjustment to the horizontal by movement to the center of a glass tube...

It'd make cents off so many levels.

/edit:rephrased punchline

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Tennis Money Embezzlement Scheme?

Yeah, it was quite the racket

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yergisgoingtodie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I bet Egyptians are suckers for pyramid schemes.
πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
🚨︎ report
How did architects earn a living in ancient Egypt?

Pyramid schemes

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arakashi_moku
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Employment scheme for under-trained pilots
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
🚨︎ report
What is the worst pyramid scheme ever?

The one that never got built

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Erikjb12
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I've been Internet hacking for almost thirty years, and now I want to give it up.

Can someone point me to an Anonymous Anonymous group?

πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I think it's weird Abba doesn't follow its own rhyme scheme

'She is the dancing queen Young and lean Only seventeen.'

Might as well be called Aaa

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_emordnilaP
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2017
🚨︎ report
The most impressive pyramid scheme was the building of the pyramids.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/first-timer-es
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Obituary for the Pillsbury Dough Boy, Pop N Fresh

The Pillsbury Doughboy, remembered best as "Pop N Serve", and/or "Pop N Fresh", died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy will be buried in this lightly greased coffin.

Dozens of celebrities will turn out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.

The grave site is expected to be piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima will deliver the eulogy and lovingly describe Doughboy as "a man who never knew how much he was kneaded".

Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.. He was considered a very smart cookie, but wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes.

Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop tart.

The funeral will be held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Eyes_and_teeth
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife told me she is thinking about selling Egyptian rocks.

It sounds like a pyramid scheme to me

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Henry Winkler just tried to get me to invest in a get-rich-quick idea but I think it's a Fonzie scheme.
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/skonen_blades
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2018
🚨︎ report
I lost most of my retirement to that guy from Happy Days.

It was a real Fonzi scheme.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Entree_The_Giant
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear Henry Winkler was arrested for a financial scam?

He was running a "Fonzi Scheme."

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GetEquipped
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
So I was rolling coins from my tip money and placing the rolled up sleeves on each other forming a kind of pyramid shape:

My sister walks up to me and asks: β€œAre you creating a pyramid scheme?”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ColinHenrichon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
How did Pharaoh successfully enslave the Jews?

He created a pyramid scheme

Edit: spelling

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thesabermaniac
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Pharaoh tried to sell Amway to help offset the costs of his burial tomb.

Turns out it was a pyramid scheme.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
🚨︎ report
The pharaoh promised workers they would be rich if they bought into his MLM construction plan.

It was the very first pyramid scheme.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
🚨︎ report
This guy from Egypt called me to invest in a tourism company, and then to ask 3 others to invest in it, while getting returns from their investments. I declined it.

It was a pyramid scheme.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheHyperthetical
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the story in the news about the man who planned to replace his head with a rabbits?

What a hare-brained scheme.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Philopean12
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
🚨︎ report
All these people getting emails from the Prince of Nigeria, I got one from an Egyptian Pharaoh...

But it turned out to just be a pyramid scheme.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2017
🚨︎ report
Why did the Egyptian kings stop building monuments?

Because it was all a pyramid scheme

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vshesha
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad-joke'd last night to set the mood.

My wife and I were trying to do-the-do yesterday, but alas, our son woke up from his nap, so my wife had to go take care of him. While she was gone, I schemed up the perfect idea.

When she came back, I was hiding under all the covers on the bed, and when she pulled the covers back I asked:

Hey, you wanna be spies and have under-cover sex?

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/massenburger
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2014
🚨︎ report
I have a plan to transplant a rabbit's cerebellum into a human skull.

It's a hare-brained scheme.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DreadMoor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
A local baker decided he could increase production and profits by putting bread in the oven for half the usual time.

His half-baked scheme didn't work out the way he had planned.

πŸ‘︎ 194
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Vandorbelt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2017
🚨︎ report
How did Pharaoh get the Jews to work for him for all this years?

He ran a pyramid scheme

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thesabermaniac
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
King Tut was broke when he died

Lost all of his money in a pyramid scheme

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know why ancient egyptians had such a hard time recruiting laborers?

It was a pyramid scheme

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Erikjb12
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the fish commit fraud?

A pondsy scheme.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatGuySolace
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Just been told I can get rich quick by buying an old Egyptian building.

I think it's a pyramid scheme.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the pharaoh get so rich?

He was running a huge pyramid scheme.

πŸ‘︎ 84
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TacoNumeroJuan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a scam where folks who engage in wordplay invite others to engage in wordplay, and folks who were there longer get credit for what the newer folks come up with?

That would be a punzi scheme.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2018
🚨︎ report
I have a missed call from earlier today - it was a number I don’t recognize and my phone says it’s from β€œEgypt”.”

I wonder if it was someone calling from one of those β€œpyramid schemes.”

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/baker_esq27
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you got a "smart shopper" loyalty card sir?

No, I'm not a smart shopper.

(I do this in front of the soon to be eyerolling wife. My boy still to young to "affect")

(This works where I live since the one grocery chain of stores branded their loyalty card scheme with the name "smart shopper")

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StoolZA
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2017
🚨︎ report
My son took a box of crackers out of the cabinet to get a snack. I told him to put it back with the box top facing out to make it easier next time...

I told him it was a get Ritz quick scheme...

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Titeman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Someone offered me a free trip to Egypt if I get five people under me to also signup.

I hate pyramid schemes.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2018
🚨︎ report
You know what civilization had the biggest scam in history?

The Egyptians with their pyramid scheme.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Scabe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2017
🚨︎ report
All these people getting emails from the Prince of Nigeria, I got one from an Egyptian Pharaoh...

But it turned out to just be a pyramid scheme.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
All these people getting emails from the Prince of Nigeria, I got one from an Egyptian Pharaoh...

But it turned out to just be a pyramid scheme...

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.