My mum is terrified of rodents. The other day she saw a mouse and immediately pulled a knife on it.

"Mum!!! You're going to get us kicked out of Disney world. "

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Which US state is best for baby rodents?

New Hamster

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/moralTortilla
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't rodents be succesful criminals?

Cause someone always rats them out

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NotYodaAtAll
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
- Me: why the heck is there small rodents in my drink?
  • Waiter: you asked for some mice!
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an inquisitive Hispanic rodent?

Por quΓ© pine.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a rodent that fetches sticks?

A lab-rat!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/clark_creationz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
If You want to replace pet rodents, Which state should you go to?

New Hamster.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Aarsh
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the rodent say to the vegan conifer?

I’d rather eat pork, you pine!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Davidismyrealname
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I have this pet rodent with extremely large feet.

I call him Ratatouille

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/forrestree
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I taught my pet rodent to chew holes in car tires.

He is now my little "Deflator Mouse".

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Elvis say when he divorced the rodent?

"You ain't nothing but a groundhog."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do rodents go to get high?

Hamsterdam.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JeremyJaLa
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What rifle is used to kill rodents?

A Mauser

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SergeantPotatoes
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a satanic rodent?

A sinchilla.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fort_one-e
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between an actor and a burnt rodent?

One's Chris Pratt, the other's a crisp rat.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alex2502
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a rodent that steals your dessert?

Pie-rat

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/manlymanhood
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What was the rodent arrested for?

Ratketeering

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/diatonicnerds
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a rodent with a machine gun?

A ratatatatata

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/swiggetyswine69
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Where did prohibition-era rodents get their alcohol?

The Squeakeasy.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fingerpants
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a rodent high on life?

A Hamsterdam

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alltime75
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
A rodent has dreams of winning American Idol. His father says

β€œGopher it son”.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KarateChop231
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
🚨︎ report
A rodent infestation...

...is quite a mice thing to wish on your enemies.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a rodent that refuses to be used for scientific purposes?

A lab brat.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a rodent drama set in Florida?

Miami Mice

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HerefordMadMan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2018
🚨︎ report
My dad bought a pet rodent from an oceanic country

It was papa's new guinea.

πŸ‘︎ 156
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hexleviosa
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2016
🚨︎ report
57 years after his death, we discovered that this one famous author made a path for small rodents who really want to throw themselves off a cliff...

He called it the Earnest Lemming-Way.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2018
🚨︎ report
What is the device which is used to cool the lower jaws of south american rodents?

A chinchilla chin chiller

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/torrell8
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s that rodent doing, taking it easy by the pool,.. it kind of seems to be relaxing its jaw?

It is a chinchilla.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lum1nar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s the most monstrous rodent of all?

Chinzilla.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lum1nar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
🚨︎ report
I met a rodent who didn't want to tell me his name.

He preferred to remain anonymouse.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MattTheProgrammer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2017
🚨︎ report
I have a large rodent trained to make the best coffee ever...

... it's my very own capybarista.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/elnuno
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2017
🚨︎ report
Where do rodent warriors go when they die?

To Vole-hole-a.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CatmanIndustries
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2017
🚨︎ report
What's a tree rodent's favorite tea?

Squirrel Grey

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zatch17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2015
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Turkish rodent who got a job in politics?

He was Burak rat.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fairyoathen
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2016
🚨︎ report
Before our tour of the sugar factory, my uncle warned us that it will smell of rodent bums

Because of all the mole asses.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jasoSwan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2015
🚨︎ report
Which of the rodents are great at maths?

the Pirats

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spageti44
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call an inquisitive Hispanic rodent?

Por que pine

πŸ‘︎ 199
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hesston97
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2017
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.