My mum is terrified of rodents. The other day she saw a mouse and immediately pulled a knife on it.
"Mum!!! You're going to get us kicked out of Disney world. "
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︎ Jan 14 2021
Which US state is best for baby rodents?
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︎ Dec 21 2020
Why can't rodents be succesful criminals?
Cause someone always rats them out
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︎ Nov 16 2020
- Me: why the heck is there small rodents in my drink?
- Waiter: you asked for some mice!
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︎ Dec 07 2020
What do you call an inquisitive Hispanic rodent?
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︎ Sep 17 2020
What do you call a rodent that fetches sticks?
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︎ Oct 14 2020
If You want to replace pet rodents, Which state should you go to?
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︎ Sep 16 2020
What did the rodent say to the vegan conifer?
Iβd rather eat pork, you pine!
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︎ Aug 15 2020
I have this pet rodent with extremely large feet.
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︎ Jul 28 2020
I taught my pet rodent to chew holes in car tires.
He is now my little "Deflator Mouse".
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︎ Jul 12 2020
What did Elvis say when he divorced the rodent?
"You ain't nothing but a groundhog."
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︎ May 21 2020
Where do rodents go to get high?
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︎ May 19 2020
What rifle is used to kill rodents?
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︎ May 11 2020
What do you call a satanic rodent?
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︎ Mar 09 2020
What's the difference between an actor and a burnt rodent?
One's Chris Pratt, the other's a crisp rat.
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︎ Jan 26 2020
What do you call a rodent that steals your dessert?
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︎ Jan 05 2020
What was the rodent arrested for?
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︎ Dec 27 2019
What do you call a rodent with a machine gun?
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︎ May 10 2019
Where did prohibition-era rodents get their alcohol?
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︎ Jun 08 2019
What do you call a rodent high on life?
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︎ Jul 24 2019
A rodent has dreams of winning American Idol. His father says
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︎ Feb 19 2019
A rodent infestation...
...is quite a mice thing to wish on your enemies.
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︎ May 24 2018
What do you call a rodent that refuses to be used for scientific purposes?
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︎ May 19 2019
What do you call a rodent drama set in Florida?
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︎ Sep 22 2018
My dad bought a pet rodent from an oceanic country
It was papa's new guinea.
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︎ Sep 09 2016
57 years after his death, we discovered that this one famous author made a path for small rodents who really want to throw themselves off a cliff...
He called it the Earnest Lemming-Way.
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︎ Mar 30 2018
What is the device which is used to cool the lower jaws of south american rodents?
A chinchilla chin chiller
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︎ Oct 31 2018
Whatβs that rodent doing, taking it easy by the pool,.. it kind of seems to be relaxing its jaw?
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︎ Jul 31 2018
Whatβs the most monstrous rodent of all?
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︎ Jul 31 2018
I met a rodent who didn't want to tell me his name.
He preferred to remain anonymouse.
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︎ Jan 11 2017
I have a large rodent trained to make the best coffee ever...
... it's my very own capybarista.
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︎ Jan 03 2017
Where do rodent warriors go when they die?
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︎ Mar 31 2017
What's a tree rodent's favorite tea?
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︎ Nov 22 2015
Did you hear about the Turkish rodent who got a job in politics?
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︎ Aug 19 2016
Before our tour of the sugar factory, my uncle warned us that it will smell of rodent bums
Because of all the mole asses.
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︎ Dec 17 2015
Which of the rodents are great at maths?
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︎ Jan 02 2017
What do you call an inquisitive Hispanic rodent?
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︎ Sep 16 2017
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