A small meteorite is reportedly headed for Legoland
The damage is expected to be 50 square blocks.
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︎ May 05 2020
Donald Trump is reportedly banning the sale of pre-shredded cheese.
He wants to make America grate again.
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︎ Dec 24 2018
Need help!
Does anyone have any good magazine/reporter puns? I'm the editor of a student magazine and we'd like a pun to put on our shirts. We can always go with the old standby "we have issues" but I'm sure someone somewhere has something funnier.
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︎ Nov 11 2014
A reporter interviewed a 103-year old woman: βAnd what is the best thing about being 103?β the reporter asked.
The woman simply replied, βNo peer pressure.β
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︎ Feb 12 2021
On the news there was a report of a cheese factory exploding in France.
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︎ Mar 17 2021
Howard
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︎ Mar 03 2021
Never trust people who sketch facial composites for police reports.
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︎ Feb 15 2021
Lifeguards are sad to report the drowning of a hippie last night.
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︎ Feb 26 2021
My grandfather died because the report said he had Type A blood.
Unfortunately it was a Type-O.
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︎ Jan 07 2021
Why did the coffee file a police report?
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︎ Jan 29 2021
Teacher: Felix, when is the boiling point reached? Felix: Just after my father reads my report card.
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︎ Jan 17 2021
I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.
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︎ Dec 18 2020
The skipper of a 40 ton trawler which ran aground in Hull during the early hours of Sunday was reported to be 6 times over the legal limit for sailing. Authorities said they had no idea what to do with a drunken sailor early in the morning.
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︎ Dec 28 2020
I asked my son how he did on his school report about Canada
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︎ Jan 03 2021
My post about chain link got reported and taken down
I guess someone took a-fence
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︎ Jan 16 2021
"Plagiarism squad reporting for duty"
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︎ Dec 02 2020
An atom called the cops to report he had an electron stolen. The cop asked, "Are you sure?"
And the atom replied, "I'm positive!"
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︎ Oct 28 2020
Sad to report the death of the founder of Dulux paint. He died this morning from hypothermia on top of a mountain.
It's been reported he could have done with another coat.
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︎ Nov 05 2020
When I caught my neighbor attaching a rocket engine to a deer, I immediately reported him to the authorities.
Shame on him for trying to make a quick buck.
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︎ Mar 29 2020
Owl to cop: βIβd like to report an incident..β
Cop: Giggling βDo you know HOO dunnit?β
Owl: βSir, eight people were murderedβ
Cop: O_O
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︎ Dec 22 2020
Why did the fish have a bad report card?
because his teacher was crappe
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︎ Nov 03 2020
I'm sorry to report that I lost both my feet to diabetes
π︎ 9
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︎ Sep 29 2020
News report accidentally a pun
π︎ 16
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︎ Sep 09 2020
I don't know why the beautiful attendant at Ikea reported me to the police.
All I asked was "How much for one night stand ?"
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︎ Sep 07 2020
These are very important lab-reports
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︎ Feb 16 2020
My girlfriend gave me an ultimatum: I have to choose between her and my career as a news reporter.
I have some breaking news for her.
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︎ Aug 22 2020
A report just came out exposing how the government's mishandling of an explosive object could've caused the deaths of hundreds of civilians
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︎ Nov 02 2020
In a recent interview with David Draiman a reporter commented on his remarkable quarantine weight gain.
Disturbed's lead singer just laughed like a monkey and said he was "down with the thiccness."
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︎ Oct 08 2020
Mary gave birth to Jesus in a manger
He is reportedly in a stable condition
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︎ Dec 15 2020
Baseball reporters are such "Karens"...
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︎ Aug 06 2020
Police are looking for a man selling marijuana to birds...
Eyewitness reported, he left no tern unstoned.
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︎ Feb 16 2021
Wanna know something about the Among Us ghost chat?
It's usually pretty dead.
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︎ Dec 21 2020
What's the modern way to donate to the church?
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︎ Feb 03 2021
After years of being in jail, Lance, a reporter was released from prison.
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︎ Aug 11 2020
Police report says someone was stealing rockwool from a construction site downtown.
Turns out it was an isolated incident.
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︎ Sep 22 2020
I've just got some new glasses, and when I first put them on, I could see tiny little people with wings at the end of the garden. I rang my optician to report the problem, but he said it was completely normal with these glasses...
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︎ Aug 14 2020
What do you call someone with large nipples who used to be a reporter?
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︎ Aug 06 2020
I'M BATMAN!
π︎ 4k
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︎ Jul 25 2020
The news always reports on violations of human rights
But what about their lefts?
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︎ Aug 10 2020
TIL: 29% of people report having to use the bathroom right after drinking a cup of coffee
The other 71% that don't are full of it
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︎ Sep 02 2020
I showed my mom my report card, she said that she needed to see more A's
I said OKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
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︎ Aug 10 2020
Why did the coffee file a police report?
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︎ Jan 24 2021
Why did the coffee file a police report?
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︎ Nov 22 2020
My grandfather died because the report said he had Type A blood
Turns out it was a Type-O
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︎ Nov 27 2020
My grandfather died because the report said he had type A blood
Unfortunately it was a Type-O
π︎ 78
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︎ Sep 29 2020
My girlfriend wants me to choose between her and my career as a reporter.
I have some breaking news for her.
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︎ Apr 27 2020
Why did the coffee file a police report?
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︎ Aug 22 2020
My wife wants me to choose between her and my career as a reporter.
I have some breaking news for her.
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︎ Sep 14 2020
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