Why couldn't the elk be identified?
Because it was anonymoose
Did you hear about the collection of related network web resources identified with a common domain name that has nothing but quotes and their authors?
If a sprinkler head identified as female...
...would it still be considered a mister?
Police are investigating a string of homicides which have occurred over the last two weeks. The victims have identified as Cap'n Crunch, Toucan Sam, Tony the Tiger, and the latest victim, Lucky the Leprechaun.
They are looking for a cereal killer.
I knew a man that identified as a car
He once entered a demolition derby race.
After that, he was a total wreck
Scientists discovered a new species of arctic bears, most easily identified by their fastidious teeth-cleaning activities
They're called Molar Bears
How can you identify a group of math teachers?
They're the ones that look like alge-bros.
I identify as a donkey...
How does one identify as water?
If I start to identify as an invisible man, does that make me a....
I have this incredible talent where I can identify what's inside a wrapped present.
What does Ironman Identify as?
Do you know why I can identify with TV Guide?
I used to feel important but now i just have very poor circulation
I'm bothered by lazy geologists who don't take the time to correctly identify rocks...
Sometimes they take this schist for granite.
I sexually identify as Michael Jackson
My personal pronouns are He/Hee
What gender does a quantum computer identify as?
Why are birds so hard to identify?
Because they are always in da sky’s.
Hens were often used in the Revolutionary War to identify colonists that were loyal to the Crown.
You never learned about chicken-catch-a-Tory?
I have been diagnosed with special vision able to identify comic buffoonery and ridiculous humor...
...my optometrist just told me that I'm very farce-sighted.
What do you call it when someone who identifies as the opposite gender does something
I kicked my lad out because he told me he now identifies as a cow
What is it called when you can’t identify a red bird?
After watching Star Wars, my friend on tumblr told me he identifies as The Force
I guess that makes him a ForceKin
They say you can identify a tree by its bark, but this one has me stumped.
Need Help Identifying a Dad Joke
When going through some of my deceased father's things, I found a card that says "Gold Mouse Story" and "Do you have a little gold Mexican?". This is sort of a shorthand he used to jot down jokes on index cards - a short description and the punchline.
I have no idea what this might refer to so I am asking here. Does this sound familiar? I apologize in advance if it turns out to be racist!
In case you were wondering, chocolate identifies as female.
Preferred pronouns are Her/she
why can't you see the father of a person who identifies themself with a different gender than the one They're born with?
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out, identity theft is a crime.
How can you identify a dogwood tree?
How do you identify the gender of an ant?
If it sinks, it's a girl ant If it floats, it's buoyant.
I can always identify people who have a hard time counting to 10.
They are usually ahead of me in the express lane at the grocery store.
Actually made me laugh gender fluid means you arent binary to one gender and transgender mean you do not identify as the gender assigned to you at birth
My son claims that he identifies as an ancient Greek string instrument.
Frankly, I think he's a lyre.
I’ve started growing herbs in my garden. To help identify them i’m growing them in alphabetical order. My neighbour asked me, how you find the time. I said, easy, it’s right here next to the sage.
My son identifies as a crescent moon. I’m worried, but my wife says it’s just a phase.
I decided to self-identify as deodorant
Before you ask. Yes, Yes I am sure
My father identifies as a woman, but he never told me about it
He wasn't being very trans parent.
Cop: do you mind identifying the body? I must warn you it ispretty hacked up!
Me [tearing up]: yes, that’s my brother Reese.
Cop: are you sure?
Me: yes I’m sure, those are Reese’s pieces.
Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
Went for a walk with my kid and he picked up a rock, asking me "what kind of rock it is."
I identified it as Leaverite.
As in "put that rock down and leaverite there!"
People who identify as hay can now get married.
They just have to find a bale bondsman.
I sexually identify as Michael Jackson
My preferred pronouns are He/Hee
My son identifies as a crescent moon.
I’m worried, but my wife says it’s just a phase.
I have this weird talent where I can identify what’s inside a wrapped present.
I now identify as a can of deodorant
And before you ask...
Yes, I'm Sure
I sexually identify as Michael Jackson.
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