Why can’t your orthodontist release any of your medical information?
That information is strictly confidental
Starbucks should release their own brand of facemasks, they could call them...
I read a press release from Heinz saying: "We will never make a Bolognese version of our Alphabetti Spaghetti.
I thought, Blimey. They don't mince their words.
My son hates art so much that his body releases gas every time we talk about it
If a soda company wants to release a new flavour
Anyone know when EA Sports will release COVID-20?
I am trying to decide if I should preorder, or if it will be as easy to get as COVID-19?
The company Volkswagon has said that they will release a new series of cars that use electricity.
They decided to call it, Voltswagon.
Counting Crows should release a song called CORVID 19.
Hope they release the album
Limited release Harry Potter title
I suggested to the national park service we release clay pigeons back into the wild.
That idea was immediately shot down
Apple releases a $1,000 monitor stand
Tech reviewers are just waiting for Samsung to release a mediocre new Note device just to say "It's not noteworthy"
The new Lion King movie dvd release date is only a week away.
A week away. A week away. A week away. A week away. A week away. A week away.
Wee e e e e e e e e a week away
I’m hoping in the next iOS update Apple releases they include more jack o lantern emojis.
But I don’t want to count my pumpkins before they patch.
In light of the recently release video of the democrats vs republicans asking why they are holding off the vote
What did the democrat say to the republican at the dinner?
Will you pass the bill already?!
(At parole hearing) Officer: Why should we release you?
Man: I th..
Officer: Yes?
Man: The reas..
Officer: Go on.
Man: May I please finish my sentence?
Officer: Sure. Parole denied.
When I was in high school, our prank was to release pigs with 1,3 and 5 painted on them.
After looking for 2 and 4 like crazy they thought...... That's odd
[ACTUAL QUOTE] A$AP Rocky was released from Swedish prison today. Donald Trump's tweet in response to his release:
"A$AP Rocky released from prison and on his way home to the United States from Sweden. It was a Rocky Week, get home ASAP A$AP!"
FDA releases a new warning for black licorice this trick or treat season.
Why don’t companies release a model 9 for their products (iPhone 9, Windows 9, etc.) ?
Apparently I have to release everything I catch when i go fishing today.
They tell me there's this thing called throw back Thursday.
Early release
A stuttering man was released from prison early
He could not finish his sentence
Samsung delays the release of their new tablet/phone collab...
Guess the plan just didn't unfold.
HBO went too far for the release of GoT season final...
With the fire at Notre Dame in Paris.
Why did Apple celebrate the release of their plus-sized phone?
Because it was a huge 6s.
When Sir Isaac Newton was about to release his book on gravity, he had his friends look over the draft...
It was a preview of coming attractions!
My 22-year-old son came up with this joke and I thought it too special to not share!
Or something like that to get me gold, silver and platinum awards. Thanks in advance!
I wanna create a Pork Rind snack called “Release The Cracklin’s”
There is one animal in the ocean that marine biologists are refusing to release any date on. Apparently, it’s a sea crit.
The Stranger Things season 3 release feels soooo far away.
By the time it airs, she's gonna be called Fifteen.
Apple to Release New Software Update for the Visually Impaired: iPatch
>i'm ^sorry ^^i'll ^^^show ^^^^myself ^^^^^out
apple is rumored to release the iPhone X-SE this year to revitalize sales.
Audi should release a line of activewear called 'Squattro'
I felt this was a little to punny for /r/showerthoughts
Scientists have learned how to send humans into the future. Unfortunately, the process causes the subject's bowels to release uncontrollably.
It's a real blast from the past.
Beastie boys are set to release a 5 part piece on there history...
You can get parts a,b,c,d but you've gotta fight for your right to part E
The band Kiss decided to release their own pants clothing line.
It's called Jean Simmons.
[Spoiler] So, I heard Toys “R” Us is going to release a new TLJ Snoke Action Figure
but he will be released in two pieces
Notice: Local Rap Artist Gershwin has announced that he will release his newest recordings only in the Compact Disk format, and they will be packaged in Periwinkle paper. So just look for:
Gershwin's rapped CD's in blue.
What phone line does the White House send its official press releases from now?
My step-dad ordered a case of wine with a release date.
Yes, apparently this is a thing. It's called Beaujolais Nouveau.
So they'll deliver it in time for release, he had to sign an document to swear that he wouldn't open it before the official date, and insists he won't open it early "in case they find out".
"They'll never know though," I said, "unless they hear it through the grapevine."
Meta: in the year 2017, Google release www.jokes.dad as a domain.
Can we make sure one of us buys it and makes something magical and Full of dad jokes for it?
I hear the Jungle Book is getting a remastered release.
It'll be released on BalooRay.
Why did the monarchist release an album?
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