https://preview.redd.it/i7bnqy84alv51.png?width=507&format=png&auto=webp&s=f915035a46a9088bb928f416d3035075300acf58
Solo
Me: my name isn’t David.
Doctor: I know. I’m David.
They were always disappointed when I showed them it was just a regular deck with dog poop on it.
Where do meteorologists relax after work? At the isobar!
Just “chill axe”, my dude.
I asked her if it was going to be full color or just a sketch.
"A.S.M....'ARRR!"
It was chilling in the fridge.
The grape. He was the only one who went raisin.
Sometimes, I just knead a brake.
It's called a casual tea
Draw themselves a bath
A Cowch
Technically, it'll be more of a "Wok-demic."
Because you will see nothing if you sit behind it.
I’ll call it my No Worries Atoll.
It’s two tents.
Relax, I got a handle on it
The doctor said it was terminal
And chill out.
I’m easily swayed.
U and i on vacation
Calmer, calmer, calmer, calmer, calmer chameleon.
Not really relaxing as my eyes are in pain, but I managed to make out "60 Watts - Made in China".
She said, "Picnic."
"Jesus," I said, 'I always knew you fancied him."
But it'll dissappear in a flash with all the other jokes here
Back in the before times, when sit-down restaurants existed, I used to order boneless cheese sticks and would just throw the word "boneless" in front of any appetizer with 100% corniness. The purpose of this isn't to make a good joke. It's not a good joke. The purpose is to make my dining companions catch some cringe splash damage and want to crawl into a hole and die out of embarrassment for my being horribly corny.
But there is a real, deeper purpose that I've discovered entirely by accident. People, especially young people, are so self-conscious and worried about saying or doing something embarrassing that it taints a lot of social gatherings. They go to a restaurant and are afraid to speak up even when their order is blatantly wrong. They'll tip well even when the food took an hour to arrive and the server has disappeared into the corn stalks behind a baseball field. It takes 2 hours of hanging out together before some friends finally stop nitpicking themselves, uncomfortable in their own bodies and brains, feeling perpetually judged, and begin to relax. These are the kinds of people who go to sleep every night replaying cringey moments from high school. Their last thought of the day is when the Burger King girl said, "Enjoy your meal!" and they said, "Thanks, you too."
It takes 2 hours and/or a lot of booze before they're comfortable enough to take conversational risks and truly reveal themselves. But if I come right out of the gate with a really dumb joke, then we can cut to the chase. There's less danger because someone in the group already shot themselves in the foot, right off the bat. They pulled a pin on the cringe grenade and then jumped on it.
You cringe at my dumb joke and then we're over the hump. Someone has already done something pretty stupid, so go ahead and order the hubcap of nachos and a massive chocolate shake because nobody is going to judge you poorly while they're all judging me.
In terms of price negotiations (haggling), there is a psychological concept called "anchoring". You throw out the first number and all subsequent numbers are compared to that number. This is the same idea. We've already set the humor standard pretty low at "boneless cheese sticks", so you can say the dumbest shit you want and, as long as it's not worse than my cheesy joke, it won't matter.
This is why, when you were a teenager and your dad took you and some friends out, your dad made corny jokes. He knew they were corny jokes. You and your friends un
... keep reading on reddit ➡My wife just now, relaxing after we got the kids to sleep: Do we have any toast?
Me: No, but we have bread!
Wife: 😐 *silence*
Me: I'll just see myself out. *laughing all the way to the pantry*
Lovely woman.
Useless surgeon.
The SAI of relief
The CHILLEST
I didn't see it working out.
I know, a bit of a stretch, right?
I said, no. I always lax right the first time.
It is a chinchilla.
Dad: Relax love it's serving lunch.
They said, "This is a robbery," and everybody relaxed a little.
Not really relaxing as my eyes are in pain, but I managed to make out “60 Watts - Made in China”.
