They always give straight "eh"s.
The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.
Puns for Kids
Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!
What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!
Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.
What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!
Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.
How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!
No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!
What musical is about a train conductor? “My Fare, Lady”.
A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
What animals are on legal documents? Seals!
Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!
Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.
Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!
How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!
Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
Dockyard: A physician’s garden.
What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!
The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.
“What’s purple and 5000 miles long?” “Ooh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”
Every calendar’s days are numbered.
This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Four bucks,” says the bartender. “Put it on my bill.”
I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.
What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!
When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.
A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is
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I said no thanks, leave it the jug.
I could just feel I always had it in me
But the agency wouldn't Let me.
His story checked out
Because 7 was a registered six offender
I said to the police “Hang on, I can explain everything...”
Harass-ic Park.
When I was in college, I registered for this class late, so when I entered the prof didn't have me on the roll. After class had begun he asked me what my last name was.
I said, "Rues."
He spelled it: "R - U - E - Z?"
And I said, "No, but if you buy me a drink we could talk..."
The class was dead silent for a full 30 seconds, then someone started to laugh, repeating what the professor had spelled.
Then the floodgates opened and the whole class was laughing.
And that's how I became addicted to dad jokes.
...and stole only the dollar bills. It was centsless violence.
A joint joint.
What do you call it when they do a business deal?
A joint joint joint.
he’s a man after my own heart.
It had a Bluetooth…
Apparently that’s because of kernel sanders...
Because they lactose!
I said no I’ll drink it from the bottles.
(after clicking through to the image of what happened, a wild dad joke appears…)
> I thought I lost it. But then it registered on me.
(Opening from /u/Bigmacleafs14, extension from /u/Kileni.)
5 was afraid of 6 2 4 6 8 10!
Give me your best ones, preferably something that google won't show me!
Self-checkout isn’t for everyone.
I was making a protein shake on the sink earlier and I ended up knocking the powder over into it. Fortunately, it didn't tip over though. Still, I said out loud "Well, that's one way to pour $40 down the drain." It didn't register until 5 seconds after I said it. I may be ascending as I continue to instinctively improve my craft.
He had to register as a hex offender
First, I'm going to say that working at a grocery store has some of the best opportunities for dad jokes. I'm 40 now, started working in a grocery store a year ago, but I also did it for a year or so in high school. This happened back in 1998.
I was sacking groceries, a girl I was secretly in love with was at the register scanning. This wet, nasty, and badly wrapped whole chicken comes through the conveyor belt and she says "Ewwww disgusting..." to which I immediately replied "What's the matter? Chicken?"
It went over famously, everyone had a laugh.
It was an Apple with tiny memory -- just one byte and everything crashed.
It was in the middle of 9 11
She’s a woman after my own heart.
Because it sounded kinda horny around the children.
He put a pistol to my head and yelled, "Don't do anything smart."
"Um," I stuttered. "Sure...OK."
"Open the cash register!" he yelled.
"I don't know how to."
He said, "Don't be dumb."
I said, "Fucking hell, make your mind up."
A red bucket.
What's blue and looks like a bucket?
A red bucket in disguise.
Because seven is a registered six offender
Because seven was a registered six offender
Because seven is a registered six Offender
He was a registered six offender
He’s a man after my own heart.
Because seven is a registered six offender.
Because seven is a registered six offender.
