Three nuns were praying on a park bench when a man walks up and flashes them.
1st nun had a stroke, the 2nd nun also had a stroke.
The 3rd one was too slow!
lettuce pray...
They're in sects.
It varies. They are all in sects.
God Damnit
They’re getting very holey
So a dad walks in on his daughter praying. She said, “I pray for mommy, I pray for daddy, I pray for grandma, and goodbye grandpa.” The dad didn’t know what she meant. But the next day, the grandpa died. The dad thought it was just a coincidence, until the next day the daughter said, “I pray for mommy, I pray for daddy, and goodbye grandma.” The father thought it was odd but went to bed. The next day the grandma died. The dad was terrified, he heard the daughter say, “I pray to mommy and goodbye daddy.” The dad the next day was restless. Then, at night he realized nothing was going to happen. He said to his wife, “ I had the most horrible day.” The wife replied, I did to the milkman died at the door step today.”
I evacuated instead of remaining in my pew.
Ramen.
Dad: "Oh Dear Lord, baby Jesus!"
everyone laughs while my sister-in-law looks confused
Me: "It's from Talladega Nights."
Sister-in-law: "Huh, never seen it."
Dad: "Well, it's pretty racey!"
With that, John got in line and when it was his turn the Pastor asked, " John, what do you want me to pray for you?"
John replied, "Pastor, I need you to pray for help with my hearing."
The Pastor put one finger of one hand on John's ear, placed his other hand on top of John's head, and then prayed and prayed and the whole congregation joined in with much enthusiasm. After a few minutes, the Pastor removed his hands, stood back and asked: "John, how is your hearing now?"
John answered, "I don't know. My hearing is actually next Thursday in the "Magistrate Court."
In the Mosquito
but I got tired of waiting.
The praying mantis.
PrayStation
After eating dinner with my parents and grandma, I got a bag of Little Bites Fudge Brownies from the pantry. My grandma asks me if they were from the box. I hold them up and point to the package and say “no they’re from the bag”
My dad and I lost it and started crying. Pray that we find it soon.
I told her not to make it a habit.
Lettuce pray.
*very proud of this joke, wrote it yeas ago and it still makes me laugh every time. 😎
Birds of Pray
It's also how I use my debit card
"Well prayed"
The taberNaCl.
(I would apologize, but this is /dadjokes)
(X-posted to jokes.)
So that both of us are in a la mode.
My Wife: Is it frozen? Me: No, it’s Wreck It Ralph.
She’s 19 weeks pregnant, I can feel the dad joke wit rising!
It’s because they’re trying to save their soles.
Lettuce pray.
Lettuce pray.
Lettuce pray.
"Lettuce Pray"
"Well prayed"
