What would happen if America switched from using pounds to kilograms as a unit a measure?
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︎ Jan 16 2021
What does a Mandalorian say when they see they've gained a few pounds?
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︎ Jan 07 2021
An udder day ... An udder pound ...
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︎ Oct 17 2020
Went to the grocery store and asked for 3 pounds of potatoes. "We don't have pounds", the grocer stated, "only kilos".
Annoyed, I went, "fine. I'll take 3 pounds of kilos then".
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︎ Jan 14 2021
Why wonβt Americans switch from pounds to kilos?
It would cause mass confusion
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︎ Nov 21 2020
We Tried Getting Americans to Start Measuring Weight in Kilograms Instead of Pounds
But they were very cagey about it.
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︎ Nov 14 2020
My wife got me today. Me, I'm making pound cake. I'm going to half the recipe
Her... so your making half a pound cake?
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︎ Dec 24 2020
Last night I had a dream that I ate a twenty pound marshmallow.
I woke up this morning and my pillow was gone.
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︎ Nov 18 2020
I lost 80 pounds.
Now I wonβt be able to pay for that new toaster I wanted.
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︎ Sep 05 2020
I lost 15 pounds on my Wii Fit
It was the best trade-in deal I could find
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︎ Sep 24 2020
I was talking to a butcher the other day who showed me a 10 pound bratwurst
So I said "A ten pound bratwurst? I never sausage a thing!"
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︎ Jul 11 2020
My friend dumped a five hundred pound load of pig intestines on his boss's desk in protest...
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︎ Aug 27 2020
It didn't even cost me a pound.
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︎ Mar 28 2020
I've gained almost 20 pounds since the quarantine...
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︎ Jun 16 2020
Which weighs more, a pound of water or a pound of kerosene?
The water, because the other one is the lighter fluid.
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︎ Apr 13 2020
I just lost 50 pounds!
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︎ Jul 02 2020
The local dragon regularly poops hundreds of pounds of ore directly into the sea.
It's a gross waste of resources.
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︎ Jul 31 2020
If you add a dollar and a pound what do you get?
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︎ Jul 24 2020
What did the 600-pound canary say to the cat?
[[in your deepest possible voice]] Here kitty kitty kitty....
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︎ Jun 22 2020
Did you hear about the 500 pound man that they had to bury with a backhoe?
It was a huge undertaking.
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︎ Jun 21 2020
What do you call 100s of pounds of bread?
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︎ May 20 2020
Is that what they call a 900 pound Guerilla?
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︎ Apr 19 2020
Son: Dad if I'm 99 pounds and eat 1 pound of nachos I would be 99% human 1% nachos!
Dad: you're 100% my son you will not !
Son: 99% your son.
Dad:...?
Son: 1% nacho son.
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︎ Mar 03 2020
I saw 2000 pounds of quarters the other day
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︎ Dec 20 2019
Why didnβt USA switch from pounds to grams?
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︎ May 08 2020
I lost 150 pounds!
Unfortunately it was at a casino in England
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︎ Feb 22 2020
I lost 30 pounds in a week...
I really hate losing money.
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︎ Feb 11 2020
I keep trying to make pound cake, but it never comes out right.
It's always off by a few ounces.
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︎ May 13 2020
I lost 10 pounds
But don't worry, I found it
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︎ Jan 11 2020
Why is the USA afraid to convert to using kilograms instead of pounds?
We're afraid of mass confusion!
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︎ Feb 06 2020
If I want to lose a couple of POUNDS
...Iβll just pay England.
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︎ Mar 07 2020
In for a penny out for a pound
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︎ Sep 04 2019
A pound of bricks weighs more than a pound of feathers
In America you can buy a square foot of bricks for around $8.50. There are 7 bricks in a square foot, meaning you are buying each brick for about a $1.21. Today one dollar is 0.75 pounds, so $1.21 is about 0.92 pounds, meaning for a full pound you can buy 1.087 bricks for about a pound. Each brick weighs 5 pounds, which means 1.087 bricks weighs 5.435 pounds. Now on the other hand you many buy 48 feathers for one dollar in America , considering that one dollar is 0.75 ponds, you could buy 64 feathers. with one pound. Each feather weighs around 0.0003 ounces, which multiplied by 64 is 0.0192 ounces , which is 0.0012 pounds. 5.435> 0.0012. There you have it a pound of bricks weighs more than a pound if feathers .
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︎ Dec 14 2019
What do you call a 1000 pound gorilla with a suit and tie and a machine gun?
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︎ Feb 22 2020
What happens when you drop a 14 pound weight on 2 canaries?
You kill 2 birds with one stone.
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︎ Nov 21 2019
I ran for an hour today and lost one pound!
Maybe I should take the money out of my pockets next time.
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︎ Feb 06 2020
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight
There would be mass confusion.
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︎ Nov 23 2020
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight
There would be mass confusion
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︎ Nov 08 2020
I had a dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow
When I woke up my pillow was gone
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︎ Nov 02 2020
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight
There would be a mass confusion
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︎ Jun 14 2020
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms over night
There would be MASS confusion
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︎ Aug 11 2020
Imagine if America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight.
There'd be mass confusion.
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︎ Jun 06 2020
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight.
There would be a mass confusion
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︎ Apr 03 2020
If Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight, there would be mass confusion
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︎ May 08 2018
If Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight.
There would be mass confusion
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︎ Jun 01 2018
Imagine what would happen if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight...
There would be mass confusion!
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︎ Sep 27 2018
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnightβ¦
There would be mass confusion.
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︎ Aug 05 2019
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