He said "your welcome."
But we just say pennies because it makes more cents
Calztwo.
It is, after all, the royal wee.
My SO and I were wondering what the plural of tortoise was.
"Is it tortoises or tortae?" we asked, walking.
"We're in Mexico, it's tortilla."
As a matter of fact, i just joined this sub today! And a few minutes ago, my dad came with a dad joke... timing couldn't be better!
Background: Tomorrow i'm going to Italy on and exchange trip. The guy i'm going to live with is named Pepe. I explained to my dad that there is also this other Italian guy named Pepe, who one of my friends is going to stay with. And here comes the gold, my dad simply replied: "If they are together can you then call them Pepperoni?" And it get's even better! "Or maybe even better, you could call them Pepsi!"
I have to admit that the Pepsi one made me smile...
Because pepper would make them sneeze!
She's six. She's awesome.
EDIT: Woo highest rated post, thanks to my kid. Also, I never said she wrote it! She just told it to me. So there.
My coworker mentioned he needed to get a quote for 400 mice(Computer mice).
Coworker: "I need to get a quote for these mice."
Me: "I can give you a quote for those mice."
Coworker: "Yeah?"
Me: "Squeak Squeak."
Coworker: *Sigh*
You should have seen the look on her face as i drove pasta.
Babe & I tried to spice things up so as to improve our sex duration
But as a 2 mins guy I came on thyme, as usual
Me: that’s not how you say a plural word Him: We saw some Oxes today.
You should have pluralized it and more would have shown up!
SFW: https://imgur.com/Yg6JRDJ
They always threaten to use divorce.
A radii.
They always precede them with "die"
The bartender said, “don’t you mean a Martini?” I glared at him and said, “I only want one!”
He's keeping his chins up.
/edits: rephrasing and pluralization.
And I was like "Yahweh"
Because they were looking for pi.
Ok I know this is bad but shut up
"Herd' of cows, Dad."
"Of course I've heard of cows. Look, there's a whole flock!"
Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with a hammer."
Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”
And all he gave me was a handful of Brazilian coins..
Irregular plural.
...and soon grew and sold thousands to florists around the world. He called the flowers Nomasia, both singular and plural. Soon, almost every field and house had Nomasia.
One day a man was found dead with Nomasia in his hand and a joke written on his shirt. A detective arrived at the scene and instantly saw the pun on the dead man's clothes. "What's that?" he asked an officer nearby. The officer answered, "Oh, that's just a pair o' Nomasia."
Dad: "You mean a Petit Two?"
Me: "Why is headquarters plural?"
Him: "Because it's one building. If it were just 'headquarter' it'd only be a fourth of a building."
"Adjective?"
"Abstract."
"Verb ending with -ing?"
"Bring."
"Food, plural?"
"Soup."
(Glares, writes "soups.") "Adverb?"
"Very."
"Noun?"
"Noun."
"Yes, a noun."
"Noun."
"THAT'S NOT A NOUN."
"Yes, it is!"
"Okay, fine ... Part of the body?"
"The."
"Noun?"
"Verb."
"DAAAAAADDDDYYYYYYY"
