What is the plural of tarantula?

Run like crazy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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What's the plural of Prince?

No, a prince

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RainforceK
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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The plurals of plural should be plurals plurali, pluraloi and pluralae so that plural has plural plurals
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arbitrary_Bastion
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
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When I was young, I remember my dad asked me what the plural of "tank" is. I said "tanks."

He said "your welcome."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Laval2772
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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The plural of penny is pence

But we just say pennies because it makes more cents

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MisterShenk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2017
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What is the plural name of a Calzone?

Calztwo.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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The plural of mango should be changed to mengo
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rtybanana
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2016
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If the plural of goose is geese then the plural of moose is meese.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A-Aron_James
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2018
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What is the plural form of octopus?

Octo 3.14

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πŸ‘€︎ u/qwerty_38
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2017
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β€ͺIn addition to themselves, some monarchs also refer to their liquid waste using plural pronouns.

It is, after all, the royal wee.‬

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElLordHighBueno
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2018
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The plural of tortoise in Mexico

My SO and I were wondering what the plural of tortoise was.

"Is it tortoises or tortae?" we asked, walking.

"We're in Mexico, it's tortilla."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lazarus_Pits
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2016
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Plural of Pepe is Pepperoni...

As a matter of fact, i just joined this sub today! And a few minutes ago, my dad came with a dad joke... timing couldn't be better!

Background: Tomorrow i'm going to Italy on and exchange trip. The guy i'm going to live with is named Pepe. I explained to my dad that there is also this other Italian guy named Pepe, who one of my friends is going to stay with. And here comes the gold, my dad simply replied: "If they are together can you then call them Pepperoni?" And it get's even better! "Or maybe even better, you could call them Pepsi!"

I have to admit that the Pepsi one made me smile...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pellep
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2015
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So proud of my daughter for this one... "Why do fishes swim in salt water?"

Because pepper would make them sneeze!

She's six. She's awesome.

EDIT: Woo highest rated post, thanks to my kid. Also, I never said she wrote it! She just told it to me. So there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/evanphi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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I was a Dad at work the other day

My coworker mentioned he needed to get a quote for 400 mice(Computer mice).

Coworker: "I need to get a quote for these mice."

Me: "I can give you a quote for those mice."

Coworker: "Yeah?"

Me: "Squeak Squeak."

Coworker: *Sigh*

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Megaman_90
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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My sister bet me $15 that i couldn't build a car out of spaghetti.

You should have seen the look on her face as i drove pasta.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/avianthon
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
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Bedroom seasoning

Babe & I tried to spice things up so as to improve our sex duration

But as a 2 mins guy I came on thyme, as usual

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Farmzy_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
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Son: I saw some Oxes today.

Me: that’s not how you say a plural word Him: We saw some Oxes today.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/not_flexy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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My wife is teaching my little ones (3/1) about bugs so they wrote β€œAnt” in honey on a piece of paper to attract them and set it out on the deck. She was sad When we went out to check later that day, only one was there.

You should have pluralized it and more would have shown up!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vtfb79
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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My dad being a dad while playing Cards Against Humanity

SFW: https://imgur.com/Yg6JRDJ

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fatkin
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2018
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Jedi's make lousy spouses

They always threaten to use divorce.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boosui
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
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What do you call a jewish priest who's also a mathematician?

A radii.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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Germans must really hate female nouns

They always precede them with "die"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PierogisDevourer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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I went into a Roman bar and asked for a Martinus.

The bartender said, β€œdon’t you mean a Martini?” I glared at him and said, β€œI only want one!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZonieDrew
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
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Smart Cactus
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sabrinalynn1983
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2017
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Tho my friends plastic surgery went horribly wrong...

He's keeping his chins up.

/edits: rephrasing and pluralization.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
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Someone told me "you believe in god? No way!"

And I was like "Yahweh"

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/quafflethewaffle
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2017
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Why did the math teacher search the fridge?

Because they were looking for pi.

Ok I know this is bad but shut up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jackoquack02
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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Look! A flock of cows!

"Herd' of cows, Dad."

"Of course I've heard of cows. Look, there's a whole flock!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/twogreen
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2016
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Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open."

Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with a hammer."

Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rangatan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2015
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Someone should build a gay club out of legos and name it "The Cock Block."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thecakeisaiive
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2017
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Today I asked my boss for a raise.

And all he gave me was a handful of Brazilian coins..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Manartguy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2018
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Singular: One mango

Plural: Two menwent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joe_Ferro_890823
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2018
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I like my women like I like my fish.

Irregular plural.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
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So a man discovered a new species of flower that smelled wonderful...

...and soon grew and sold thousands to florists around the world. He called the flowers Nomasia, both singular and plural. Soon, almost every field and house had Nomasia.

One day a man was found dead with Nomasia in his hand and a joke written on his shirt. A detective arrived at the scene and instantly saw the pun on the dead man's clothes. "What's that?" he asked an officer nearby. The officer answered, "Oh, that's just a pair o' Nomasia."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sp0yl
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2016
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Grandma: "Who wants half of a Petit Four?"

Dad: "You mean a Petit Two?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mavsfan2513
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2016
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My friend dropped this on me today. Gonna be one hell of a dad.

Me: "Why is headquarters plural?"

Him: "Because it's one building. If it were just 'headquarter' it'd only be a fourth of a building."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icanrunupwalls
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2013
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Why my children won't play Mad Libs with me anymore

"Adjective?"

"Abstract."

"Verb ending with -ing?"

"Bring."

"Food, plural?"

"Soup."

(Glares, writes "soups.") "Adverb?"

"Very."

"Noun?"

"Noun."

"Yes, a noun."

"Noun."

"THAT'S NOT A NOUN."

"Yes, it is!"

"Okay, fine ... Part of the body?"

"The."

"Noun?"

"Verb."

"DAAAAAADDDDYYYYYYY"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevinb9n
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2014
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