The 3 musketeers
...that would be Nice.
It was much better than any of the recipes in it.
Because it’s sublime.
It only costs 1p to get into the local aquarium, as long as you're camping, or dressed as a dolphin.
So, to all in tents and porpoises, it's free!
Cuz it's a Bittersweet Tympani
The cow.
It's moosic to my ears.
The owner took them around the ground floor and everything looked perfect, even more so for the low price. The couple were suspicious that they saw no sign of anything supernatural, yet. The owner was pleasant and a little excited when showing them the house, until they got to the stairs. The woman stopped and looked incredibly uncomfortable as she stalled for time. Growing impatient, the couple asked her:
"What's upstairs?"
"Not much, what's up with you?" replied the stairs.
But we just say pennies because it makes more cents
Father replies, “Go stand in the corner. It’s 90 degrees over there”.
If we could just dis Pence with the pleasant trees
I think that’s all the pleasant-trees sorted.
Pretty soon she'll be ready for a whole branch.
Let me start off by saying that I'm a Geography buff.
Me: Dad, I'm hungry
Dad: That's impossible!
Me: How?
Dad: I've been to Hungary and its much more pleasant than you are!
I was in the back seat of the family car drinking a coke, when we hit a bump in the road and I coughed.
Coke spurts out of my nose. Carbonated beverages do not feel pleasant when they spurt out of your nose, and I screamed to my Dad in the front passenger seat what had happened.
"Well, what did you expect? You're supposed to snort Coke".
My family and I were touring a zoo/safari park, and looking for the elevator that would take us down to another area of the park. We were walking near an older couple, and the woman pointed out to her husband that the elevator was just ahead past the mister (there were various places throughout the zoo where a pleasant mist of water helped keep visitors cool). The man responded, without missing a beat, "That's Mister Elevator to you."
We were talking about flying planes when one of my friends told a story about how another plane that was significantly faster than his passed him.
Him: "Yeah, man, they flew right by us!"
Me: "Well yeah, how else are they gonna do it?"
I was pleasantly surprised, yet strangely disappointed, to find them laughing instead of groaning.
So a couple days ago as I was leaving work I get a phone call from a friend of mine who I shall call k during this story
Now K never calls people so I was surprised that he was calling me, and was even more surprised when the first words he said when I picked up where, “Acriloc you’re a bad influence on my brother.”
I was shocked at such an accusation, wounded even and asked why. K then proceeded to tell me how when he was at work he slipped on a recently mopped floor and fractured his arm. A coworker of his dropped him off at the ER where he decided to text his brother C, someone whom I’m friend with as well, while he waited.
C asked if K was ok, and how since K works in a kitchen what’s he going to do if he can’t use his right arm for a while. K then told C how he tends to practice using his left arm just in case anything like this would happen, and though he won’t be able to do everything he did in the kitchen he’ll still be able to work and help out.
C responded with, “I guess all that practice came in....handy.”
Causing K to burst out in laughter in the middle of the ER waiting room, filled with people who are in pain and not having a pleasant day. The amount of death stares he got from people as he was laughing while trying to point at his phone and explain he’s laughing because of a lame joke his brother sent him was quite the sight to behold apparently.
Apparently I am to blame for all this because C used to never make jokes like that until he met me since I try to find any excuse to make a dad joke.
