I was really embarrassed when my wife caught me playing with my son’s train set by myself. In a moment of panic, I threw a bedsheet over it.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
I hurt my finger playing Minecraft
It’s okay. Just a minor injury
I used to be the soccer team's striker until my coach realized I wasn't playing well. He said....
You should play defense, no offense.
A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards.
That's right. The steaks were pretty high.
How did Landon Calrissian win the Millennium Falcon while playing Wheel of Fortune?
My wife is threatening to leave me unless I grow up and stop playing games
I was working as a waiter in a restaurant and my boss enjoyed playing jokes on me.....
....wasn’t so funny when I turned the tables though was it.
Three men were onboard a ship playing dice on deck when the oldest man angrily jumped off the front of the boat. The younger man said..
You keeled my father. Prepare two die.
*I sent this to my brother and he replies: Was his name Inyougo?
^(What a freaking professional)
Dustin Hoffman gets chosen for a role of playing an much older Joaquin Phoenix.
In one particular scene he’s strolling down a busy street in NYC and a taxi almost hits him. He slams the hood of the taxi and yells
Hey I’m Joaquin here!
I tried playing hide and seek in the hospital with my little kids...
...but they found me in the ICU.
Physicists are playing hide and seek in the afterlife. It's Einstein turn to seek. He counts to 100, turns around and notices Newton in a 1m*1m square. Hah, Newton, I found you!
See Einstein, the problem here is that you discovered Pascal!
I once saw a guy playing Dancing Queen on a didgeridoo.
I was arrested yesterday after neighbours complained about me playing Englebert Humperdink records all night
Police released me, let me go!
I’m thinking of marrying my Quidditch playing girlfriend.
Which dinosaur was the best at playing basketball?
What game does Stalin hate playing?
Playing “tag” in the Addams Family must be very confusing if your cousin’s there...
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music....
Think it's the Chopin board.
My daughter was playing with my computer and she broke the R button and tried to eat it.
My friends and I were playing a game where you have to think of famous Johns. The game ends if you pick a John that is no longer with us.
It's all fun and games until someone gets Hurt.
I was playing among us and someone accused me that i was impostor
I just need to vent about it for a bit
10 yr old daughter playing video games yells, “GIRL!”
Dad response, “You know it’s true...”
Daughter laughs (she actually likes my Dad jokes... heh) 🙂
Playing as a Monk in Dungeons & Dragons isn’t so hard.
You just have to roll with the punches and look out for number one.
The only gift I got for Christmas was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I’m having a hard time dealing with this.
Why do fighter pilots hate playing golf?
They keep hitting bogeys.
Daddy, look! Those turtles are playing piggyback! Son, I was going to wait till you were older for this talk but...
Those are tortoises , not turtles.
Playing rainbow six using Calculator as a controller
My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, “Dad get out of the way!”
I said, “You’re the ones blocking!”
I was playing Mario Cart today, looked at Toad and thought...
Ya know what, he looks like a really fun guy.
fun guy
fungi
A dad was injured while playing peek-a-boo with his son.
What animal procrastinates by playing video games?
What’s a cancer patient’s favorite part of playing Bingo?
I was playing a zombie game last night, and sliced off the left side of a zombie
It scared my wife pretty bad.
I assured her he’s all right.
Has anyone seen the new movie that’s playing in all the theaters?
Have you seen who's playing the lead in the new Blind Batman film?
My son was playing with electricity, so I grounded him.
What did the electrician do to his son when he found him playing with electrical wires?
When people get mad about me playing League of Legends I just
Someone who likes playing racing games online is...
When my boys were playing ball, they accused me of spraying the ball with the watering hose. I didn't spray it.
My TV started playing random Netflix shows. It was weird...
But I’ve seen Stranger Things
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
When my wife found me playing with my son’s train set, I was so embarrassed that I threw a bedsheet over it.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
I saw some cows in the field smoking a joint and playing poker.
A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing poker
That's right!! The steaks were pretty high.
Some cows were caught smoking weed an playing poker.
Yes, the steaks were very high.
Saw some cows on the roof playing poker...
A farmer noticed some cows smoking weed and playing cards
The steaks were getting pretty high
Are we playing peekaboo in a hospital?
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