A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards.

That's right. The steaks were pretty high.

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
🚨︎ report
The only gift I got for Christmas was a deck of sticky playing cards.

I’m having a hard time dealing with this.

πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you build a house with playing cards

Start a Club

Win their hearts

Give them tools and Spades

Pay them with diamonds

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Which playing cards are the best dancers?

The king and queen of clubs

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/extremeavYT
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad being a dad while playing Cards Against Humanity

SFW: https://imgur.com/Yg6JRDJ

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fatkin
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2018
🚨︎ report
I recently had breakfast with Tenacious D while playing a game of cards

Nothing like playing blackjack with Jack Black over a stack of flapjacks

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I messed up while playing cards and played a single J instead of waiting to play a 9 10 J.

I wasn’t thinking straight.

(Explanation) In cards a string of numbers in a row is called a β€œstraight” and so by not thinking straight, I am both being confused and making poor decisions, and am also not thinking about the card combination of the same name.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Son_of_Carr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I told the doctor I felt like a deck of playing cards...

He said he’d deal with me later.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you mix a duck, drugs, and playing cards?

A quack dealer.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spriteturtle
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Never get a tuxedo made out of playing cards.

It'll never suit you.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSFG832
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife thought I was mad because the only birthday gift I received was this comically miniature playing cards.

It wasn’t a big deal.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Playing cards against humanity with my dad.

The cards were "I drink to forget - pooping in a laptop and closing it."

He says, "You mean a craptop?"

πŸ‘︎ 144
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gvjssb
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2015
🚨︎ report
Donald Trump should make his own playing cards.

Then in the last part of his election campaign he can pull out his Trump card.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotterPal97
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2015
🚨︎ report
The most puny and beautiful deck of playing cards ever made. kickstarter.com/projects/…
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/albertog72
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2015
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Catholic's card-playing organ?

The holy euchre wrist.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zombie-narwhals
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2017
🚨︎ report
What did the man yell to the dogs playing poker when he slammed down 24 cards on the table?

YOU CURS

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptMcButternut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2017
🚨︎ report
We were playing cards yesterday at Grandma and Grandpa's house

Grandma was keeping score as usual, and she was getting frustrated as her pen was running out of ink when my dad says: "It must have Appendicitis".

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IAMAHobbitAMA
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2016
🚨︎ report
Playing cards when...

I was out with a group of friends and we were deciding what card game to play. One of my friends said, "Well, we could play euchre or something else." I then asked her, "Hmmm, how do you play something else?" Cue the emotionless stare.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirBlaynethan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2015
🚨︎ report
My boyfriend's mother... while playing cards today

"I no longer want this one... so I'm dis-CARDing it."

No one laughed... so she started laughing. Groans all around after that.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad-joked my friend while playing cards

My friend and I were playing Magic The Gathering (Card game), and we were talking about our previous games at a tournament that just happened couple days prior. He told me he lost a game due to a little mistake.

His exact words were "Man, I was so stupid. I mis-read it" I replied with "Well, if you mis-read it, theres a computer behind you." My friend then groaned... looked at me, and shook his head, while i laughed at my own joke.

ba dum, tsh!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lazer_69
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2015
🚨︎ report
Playing cards with my friend and his dad...

Upon getting lucky with a bad play in a card game one of my friends exclaimed "Am I smart or what?" His dad playing the same table responded "What."
"Am I smart or what?"
"I heard you the first time, that wasn't a question, it was an answer; what." He couldn't help smiling as he delivered the line to collective groans around the table and me cracking up because my friends old man was completely right, his son misplayed and got lucky.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/techniforus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2014
🚨︎ report
Dadjoked my dad while playing cards

Playing a game called Hand and Foot where you have a group of cards called your foot.

Dad "Are you on your foot yet?

Me "No I'm on my chair"

Dad [unamused] "Well get on your foot"

Me stands up on 1 foot

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tdkreturns
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2014
🚨︎ report
Playing cards with friends

The dealer laments "this is exhausting" in reference to passing out cards.

Another friend: "Deal with it."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnFoxpoint
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2014
🚨︎ report
A farmer noticed some cows smoking weed and playing cards

The steaks were getting pretty high

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yoru
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
All I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards.

I’m having a hard time dealing with this.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
The only gift I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards.

I’m finding it hard to deal with this.

πŸ‘︎ 161
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
The only gift I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards.

I find it extremely difficult to deal with.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
The only gift I got for my birthday is a deck of sticky playing cards.

I find that very hard to deal with.

πŸ‘︎ 82
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I've got a pack of really sticky playing cards.

I'm finding them hard to deal with.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
🚨︎ report
The only birthday gift I got this year was a deck of sticky playing cards.

I find that very hard to deal with.

πŸ‘︎ 559
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2018
🚨︎ report
The only gift I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards.

I’m having a hard time dealing with it.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What playing cards are the best dancers?

The king and queen of clubs.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheOmerAngi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
For my birthday, all I got was a deck of sticky playing cards.

I find that very difficult to deal with.

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Which playing cards are the best dancers?

The King and Queen of clubs.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/oppy1984
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2017
🚨︎ report

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