Playing Area Puns

He told me, “watch the fuck out man!”

I walked up to the ticket counter and asked him when “the fuck out man was playing”, but there sadly weren’t any showings in the area.

I was playing FFXIV with my husband and one of our friends. We had all been drinking (me more than them).The three of us were all in our living room, and as we approach the final boss area in one of the dungeons we hadn't done before, this rears up out of the water and I shriek, "HEY GUYS! WHAT'S KRAKEN???!!!"

Our friend turned around in his seat with the most disgusted expression on his face, pointed at me, and said, "Get out."

I started giggling so hard I nearly fell off the couch, and sputtered: "Sorry. I'll quit kraken stupid jokes."

Ha. Yayyyy puns. :3

So my wife and I are house/petsitting for some friends of ours. They have two cats, and a ten month old German Shepard. Being ten months old, the puppy is still a little rowdy. Tonite, after we took him for a walk, we let him kind of hang out in the house.

He still wanted to play, and jammed his elephant toy in my wife's face as she sat on the couch crocheting. She pulled back and he jammed it into her chest, then released and bit down to get a better grip on the toy.

In doing so he just clipped my wife's ahem nipple. She immediately pushed the dog away and grabbed the affected area. I stood up to help, somehow, and asked her if she was okay.

She looked me straight in the eye and said "Yeah, it's just a little nip." I couldn't be more proud.